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 Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 4:37 pm
i wrote it a few days ago and just though of posting
A box of chocolates
A red rose
A note in a locker
Or a dashing smile
Even a timid and curious look
Would do just fine
On this day of mine
Every girl is on her toes
Waiting for that one special rose
And a boy to smile at her
Everyone is excited to open his or her locker
And see if they got a little note
Wrote by a special someone
But form some
This day of love
Seems to be a disaster
No chocolates
Rose
Note
Or even a glance their way
It carves away at their gut
They tell themselves
Its ok, it doesn’t matter
But do they truly believe
The popular girls
Get all the cards
Chocolates
And roses on this day
But for me
Like many other misfits
It’s a day of trouble
Of grumbling hearts and minds
And crying deep inside
Because there’s no chocolates on your desk
No rose handed to you as a gift
You open you’re locker and what do you see
Nothing
And of course
There’s no smile for you or me
They just look right on through
And see the girl next to you
Or the boy sitting across from you
But never at you
And when your crushes don’t look your way
You’re feeling crack and fade
Loneliness
Jealousy
Greed
And many other things
Consume us on this day
Wanting just one card
Or a little rhyme
But when it never comes
You feel like the crumbs on the floor
Forgotten dirty
And swept away into a cold outdoors
Everyone gets stuff today
On this pretty
Pink
Valentines Day
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:10 pm
Well this comment is even later haha. It's a bit cliche, and it doesn't really have any style to it. More or less like an explanation. Good try though.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:18 pm
thanks, i hate it and did some editing on it cause it sucked and it ended ok. i don't really care
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 5:52 pm
One Poet may not've liked it... But I did... sweatdrop I dunno, you're writing style's just really appealing to me. Maybe because you don't have to have it flowing or rhyming to make the poem sound good. You use very good metaphors and that's what seems to really make you're poems. I really admire that!!! ^^; My poetry always rhymes and flows, but my weak area's those darn metaphors, ya know?! Anyway, I love this poem as well. Kinda sad really... crying My friend's and I have never really liked Valentine's Day. I like to call it "Loner's Awareness Day" personally... Although I didn't come up with that, I read it in some Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfic... But it's very true. Anyway, keep up the good work, as always!
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