|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:57 pm
So my Dad and his girlfriend are trying to have a kid. Chances of her getting pregnant are very very very slim, however if she does there's a 1/14 chance that it will come out deformed one way or another.
My step-mother has expressed today that if the deformity is severe enough that abortion is an option for her. My Dad and I are on the same page on this, but we all know the amount of worth the man's opinion on abortion is to a woman considering one already.
So I've spent a good part of today just crying, as has my younger sister. We've already lost a sibling due to a miscarriage (years ago, it was my mother and my father's) and I don't know how we'll deal with losing another one if the problem arises. I've informed my father that if it happens I won't be able to live there anymore (my father has custody of me. My mother has custody of my sister) and he's said to me that he's not sure if he'll be able to either, if it should happen.
I'm just so numb right now. It's one thing to argue abortion knowing that you're doing the right thing for someone who can't fight for themselves, it's quite another to actually have these feelings and fears. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if it actually happens.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:02 pm
*pat pat*
I'm here for you. Just say something, and I'll try my best to do it. Toxic I know this must be hard, but you have to try to communicate with your step-mother, if you feel you want to stop her. If you don't you'll never know. She may be stubborn, but you just have to try.
I'll be praying for you. You're always welcome to talk about it in this Guild.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:34 pm
kp606 *pat pat* I'm here for you. Just say something, and I'll try my best to do it. Toxic I know this must be hard, but you have to try to communicate with your step-mother, if you feel you want to stop her. If you don't you'll never know. She may be stubborn, but you just have to try. I'll be praying for you. You're always welcome to talk about it in this Guild.
The only reason we knew about them trying to get pregnant was because my sister went to get socks from Susan's drawer and found stuff. They didn't even tell us that they were trying to have a kid.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:44 pm
toxic_lollipop kp606 *pat pat* I'm here for you. Just say something, and I'll try my best to do it. Toxic I know this must be hard, but you have to try to communicate with your step-mother, if you feel you want to stop her. If you don't you'll never know. She may be stubborn, but you just have to try. I'll be praying for you. You're always welcome to talk about it in this Guild.
The only reason we knew about them trying to get pregnant was because my sister went to get socks from Susan's drawer and found stuff. They didn't even tell us that they were trying to have a kid.Well for one, don't get stressed for nothing. They first have to have a kid, then it's a 1/14 chance it'll be deformed. Although you're in your rights to be worried now, just relax a little and know it might not just happen. Other then that, *thinks* it's rather hard, as people can be stubborn. If you tell her how you feel, and how it'll affect you, then ask her who's body it's affecting. And hell, if you gotta go for Drama, then do it. Nothing gets a point across like hysterics. If she has the abortion, i'm sure you'll be near that point as it is.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:43 pm
Oh she already knows my views on the subject, as does everyone. It was one of the reasons they didn't tell Leigha and I that they were trying to get pregnant. Right now it's more of a "You would kill my brother or sister because you decided you don't want to deal with deformities?"
I dunno, this feeling that I have right now, if I was pro-choice, would be enough to turn me completely pro-life and nothing's even happened yet. No one should ever have to feel this way, I can only imagine what would happen if something happened, or how my father would feel.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:33 am
Have you talked to them about fostering/adopting instead?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:39 pm
Well, politically, I'm on her side, technically.
However, in this situation, she seems to be using the ability to abort in almost a sadistic manner.
I mean... she knows your family, and their point of view on abortion. Why would she do this, and so unfairly, to you and your dad and sister, state that 'I'll have an abortion if I damn well please.'
In this situation, she's definitely not being fair.
Hope it works out, honey.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:56 pm
La Veuve Zin Have you talked to them about fostering/adopting instead?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 5:05 pm
Mcphee Well, politically, I'm on her side, technically.
However, in this situation, she seems to be using the ability to abort in almost a sadistic manner.
I mean... she knows your family, and their point of view on abortion. Why would she do this, and so unfairly, to you and your dad and sister, state that 'I'll have an abortion if I damn well please.'
In this situation, she's definitely not being fair.
Hope it works out, honey.
Sorry but I have a real vendetta against any and all choicers right now. Basically, no matter how you feel about this personally, if it happens every single choicer is going be part of the reason my little brother or sister is dead.
So yeah, you may want to like not talk to me for awhile. I love you, I just can't handle anything pro-choice at the moment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 10:29 am
I'm so sorry.. I can't see how anyone could ever consider abortion. I mean, you'd think I'd have, but it never entered my mind.. until my friends suggested it, but I didn't even give it thought before saying absolutely not..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 7:34 pm
She's older. Chances of deformities rise. Hate to be grim, sorry.
I think the person you should speak to in order to prevent it should be your dad. If they're trying to have a kid, he's got a role in this thing. I really don't mean to be blunt here, but I always am. It's as much his responsibility if he knows she's likely to abort. Why is he willing to take that risk, instead of laying down the law and saying, "I won't have a child with you unless I'm sure that you won't kill my child?" It's a hard thing to say, but if he's faced with it later on, it'll tear him apart that he let it happen. If only she was trying, that'd be different, but he is too, so it sounds like. I know he doesn't like abortion, but he's basically going to help her get pregnant even though it risks the child's life and he knows it. He's got a choice in this matter at this point. It's the only point until childbirth that he'll have any say.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 7:40 pm
The odds are certainly in your favor though.
It's unlikely that she will become pregnent.
Is so, it is unlikely that the child will be deformed. Over 85% is still good odds.
Even if the child IS deformed...it would have to be severe, right? And a lot of deformities can be taken care of down the road with plastic surgery. I've seen some amazing "before and after pics" when it comes to deformed kids.
Forgive me as I tend to be an optimist regarding things things. I sincerely hope things turn out for the best. You've got a whole group of good people here on your side.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:18 pm
Cyanna The odds are certainly in your favor though. It's unlikely that she will become pregnent. Is so, it is unlikely that the child will be deformed. Over 85% is still good odds. Even if the child IS deformed...it would have to be severe, right? And a lot of deformities can be taken care of down the road with plastic surgery. I've seen some amazing "before and after pics" when it comes to deformed kids. Forgive me as I tend to be an optimist regarding things things. I sincerely hope things turn out for the best. You've got a whole group of good people here on your side. I hope it goes that way. That'd be awesome. Some people I know will abort for the tiniest things. Like, gender. They feel they'd rather have a new baby than deal with fixing the old one, is what it comes down to. I suppose now children are accessories. Mix, match, collect 'em all!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:03 am
Well, I don't think you need much support from your pro-life friends. In my opinion, it is Susan that needs your support, whatever she decides to do. She is not pregnant yet and the chance of her getting pregnant is very slim, so I don't think there is anything to worry about yet. She has expressed that abortion is an option for her IF she ever gets pregnant and IF the fetus is severely deformed. That still has not happened and there is little chance that it will happen.
You should not cry about this issue. It also disturbs me that you consider a miscarriage to be your sibling. Pardon me, but my mother had a miscarriage too and all I think about it is that it was a bunch of tissue that they had to remove from her because otherwise it would grow and become cancerous. I certainly know the difference between THAT and my older brother.
Also, if your father does not respect her partner's choice, maybe they should really think about their relationship. I suspect there is something going on there that has nothing to do with abortion. You are making a drama and crying over nothing, and that is because you don't like what Susan says, or how Susan thinks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 12:09 pm
Joy-ish Well, I don't think you need much support from your pro-life friends. In my opinion, it is Susan that needs your support, whatever she decides to do. She is not pregnant yet and the chance of her getting pregnant is very slim, so I don't think there is anything to worry about yet. She has expressed that abortion is an option for her IF she ever gets pregnant and IF the fetus is severely deformed. That still has not happened and there is little chance that it will happen. Quote: You should not cry about this issue. It also disturbs me that you consider a miscarriage to be your sibling. Pardon me, but my mother had a miscarriage too and all I think about it is that it was a bunch of tissue that they had to remove from her because otherwise it would grow and become cancerous. I certainly know the difference between THAT and my older brother.
There are difference, that doesn't make it any less of a sibling.Quote: Also, if your father does not respect her partner's choice, maybe they should really think about their relationship. I suspect there is something going on there that has nothing to do with abortion. You are making a drama and crying over nothing, and that is because you don't like what Susan says, or how Susan thinks.
I fully support my father's stance on the issue. If I was in his shoes I doubt I'd even be with Susan at this point. I refuse to date a guy who is pro-choice let alone dating someone who has the ability to kill my child without my consent.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
