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 Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 10:40 pm
it is... 1:38 in teh morning and I can't sleep. why? because i'm depressed.
just give me a moment and allow me to rant. i'll probably delete this post later after i've had some time to get over it...
ignore the pissy, pessimistic girl sitting in the corner crying to stone sour.
but yeah. i'm fat. i've been that way since about 6th grade, putting on weight that is. i'm now 20, about to be 21 in june, and i'm in a serious relationship. to be honest, our sexlife sucks. we're both inexperienced and he thinks that real sex is like porn. but real sex doesnt satisfy him like porn, so... he uses porn. daily. he doesnt turn to me for his sexual desires.
So i'm left here in the bedroom, knowing full well taht he's at the computer wanking off to some hot 18 year old with a discerable waistline... and i can't help but feel... fat, unattractive, and... stupid. So i faked ebing asleep when he came to bed, humming and happy. then, after a few minutes of waiting for him to fall asleep without a single word of "good night, i love you" or anything, he just... goes to sleep.
so now i can't sleep and i'm worried that maybe it's my fault. i dont satisfy him, i'm fat... andboring... and... i just feel like trash.
you can comment if you want, i'm just gonn surf gaia for a bit tonght before i try to get some sleep, but... i'm not really tired.
i'll delete this tomorrow... commetn if you like. i dont care.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 5:17 am
Im sorry Saichen, but that sounds like a pretty crappy relationship. My parents, who hate each other still stay married for the sake of being "Christian" and their vows. My mother sleeps on the couch every night. I never hear my father say the words "I love you" to her. No wonder Im gay. xp Pardon me for saying so but I think your both with each other just for the sake of not being alone. it sounds like him or you or both of your are just taking each other for granted. If you have to date, it should be with someone who makes you feel happy and desirable. Not just someone who doesnt communicate to you and seems just like he's there. Even though you feel like this its probably a good idea to go somewhere, dress up in something that makes you feel good, even for a bookstore. You might not feel like you want to be around people but you should.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 9:38 am
I hate people who make others feel bad just because they're overweight or whatever.
I had that same issue with our costumer in a play who REFUSED to do my costume because I'm not a size 8. (Twice that actually, and I admit it proudly!)
Not that I'm one who should be giving relationship advice, but why not try talking to him about it. Just so he knows how you feel and whatnot. May sound or seem awkward, but it might could work.
And just remember that there are people somewhere that do love you. (even if we've never met face to face)
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Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 10:10 am
A bit of an old thread... well. I'm not an expert here, as I'm only just barely 17 and really shy sweatdrop and I've never been on a date in my life... but. Isn't the point of having a boyfriend that he loves you and cares about you? If you're upset, shouldn't he notice, and not want to inadvertently upset you? I mean, if he doesn't like you, and the relationship is upsetting you, wouldn't you be better off breaking up with him?
But this is an old thread. Saichen, how's it going with him now?
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:27 pm
well if you feel unconfortable with your body, try loosing some weight. I can say from personal experience that i feel much better about myself, and happy with the way i look.
But dont do it because your boyfriend doesnt find you attractive, if someone loves you they will love you no matter what size you are. Do it for yourself.
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:30 am
Bad necros.D<
*sprays necros with water bottle*
Locking this up and sending it to the litterbox.
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