|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:01 am
And then Kubwa's instant optimism to the situation. So very different from the reaction of the goddess, and the cub certainly seemed better off with his father than with his mother at the moment. Optimism was better than fear.
However, the main images in her mind were her own cubs. Kilango left, and when she returned she'd become so different. So much so that her soul even looked a good deal different, and she was there to save a cub. So much so that she was old enough to have cubs, and consider it in her own semi-serious manner. Wahabu was getting bigger, he took a good deal after her but his shape was very much like his father's. Her cubs were already the same age as Kizamaji was when she first met him, perhaps a bit younger but just about. It all seemed so very fast.
And so Mtima'safi stared off into the sunset, trying to forget all these worries.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:15 am
Katana'k was walking about, where, he wasn't quite sure. He huffed and peered around with his white eyes, stupid places, he hated not knowing where he was exactly, it was all too confusing sometimes. He believed he felt his brother's presence here not too long ago, had he already left? The fluffball, how he hated him so, he'd find him again, and settle their feud once and for all.
He pulled his wings upon his back, the last few rays of sunlight touched his armor and made it shine, his longer fangs exposed to the sun as well, making them glint somewhat. Padding not lightly he strode along, eyes peering around for some sign of his brother, but his eyes merely fell on the paler yellow figure of someone up ahead.
Perhaps they would know something.
As he approached Katana'k got a strange feeling within him, doubt perhaps, though he could not sense an outstanding amount of pride from this being, perhaps they were merely tired and wished to rest. Getting closer he saw that it was a female, strange, a female all alone? That wasn't right.
"Why are you alone my dear? You seem caught up in something..." he didn't bother to hide his appearance, he hated allusions anyway, using them..he believed they were pointless upon himself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:40 am
Mtima heard the sound of someone nearing, someone unfamiliar, and glanced over her shoulder. Her wings were hidden once again, truly some form of denial she was now depending upon while she thought through her situation. When she spotted a large, dark figure she realized that it didn't matter that her wings were hidden. As soon as he was close enough, she could see not only his wings and other godly features but also the immortality attached to his soul. The goddess lay still, her blue and gold eyes on the stranger.
"It's been a long day, I came here to think," she confessed simply, and looked back out at the sun. She did not seem too concerned with the fact he was an immortal, and certainly didn't notice a familiar feather he wore. Though her eyes were pointed away, her ears were turned at attention to him. She was not completely rude.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:04 am
"Long days do have a usual habit of making those caught within them tired," Katana'k took a step closer, but kept his distance and sat back, looked out to where she was looking, seeming as if he was waiting for some answer to just fly out and hit him, give him a sign or something, something to point him in the right direction.
"I don't mean to impose, but what are you thinking about?" he knew he might be considered rude for trying to intrude, but her pride was not shown fully to him, he wished for it to run through her veins like the strong blood she had.
It did not matter to him whether she was immortal or mortal, he wanted pride to be within her and with her always, for it never to fade away. "Perhaps I may help?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:15 am
All vanity and confidence in herself was forgotten in these moments, her worries all on what a foolish mistake she might have made. No, not mistake- she would never consider her family a mistake. It was a choice she'd made, and now she wondered if she'd made the right one. Her eyes went a little tearful at the fact she even let herself think the word 'mistake'.
"You're a god," she stated matter-of-factly, and turned to look back at him again, "How would you feel about having a mortal family? What would you do?" This stranger was a god, and giving his opinion might be of some help. The only concerning part was the fact he was a male, and did not need to create a bond with any cubs he helped to create. A father did not have to be there, did not carry the cubs or directly keep them alive. She knew how odd her question might have seemed, but she made no other remark or explanation.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:09 am
Yes, he was a god, but her question made his eyes turn from hers and gaze out into the nothingness. Family, his family, his brother was a mistake, family, was a complicated thing to him. His mother was gone, he doubted he would ever see her again, he was always looking for his father, and he found his brother, had to find him again to settle the score...
"A mortal family? Would be hard...family to me, the concept, is difficult, I have a feud with my brother with family. He always looked on the brighter of things, though I tend to see the truth more then he. Family is nice, though, I don't know if I will ever have one again...I fear that if I ever have one, I will have to watch them die...a mortal family might kill me if I have to watch them suffer and slip away from me..." he then looked back to her, why did she ask such a thing?
"Why do you ask? Please forgive my views if they offend you my dear..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:23 am
Mtima kept her eyes on the god hopefully, hoping he would have something positive to say, something that would make it all right. When she heard him say his brother was the optimist and he saw the truth, she knew what was coming. As he spoke she jerked her head back towards the dying sunlight, unwilling to look right at him now. He was right, just like Boma, and hearing the words from someone calm and only in the situation theoretically was making the point hit her harder. Death is not easy, she'd witnessed death before, but they were immortals and it was not a slow process but a fight.
"My family," she replied sadly, "They are mortal and I- I-"
Her sentence cut off there, unable to admit it, and she sighed, resting her head on her paws.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:32 am
"I see..." he turned his eyes from hers, from her completely, and gazed out into the nothingness again. It would be hard for her then, she must have mated with a mortal male, had mortal children, yes, it would be hard, for her to realize that everyone dies at one point or another. Even the immortals die, no one can escape death really.
"You don't want to see them...fade away, do you?" he asked, peering at her out of the corners of his eyes, he flicked his tail, then stared straight forward again. "It's hard to realize I know...I don't know where my mother is...or if she was even reincarnated at all...I've heard a story, upon the wind, of an immortal that watched their family die...death is hard for everyone. Though, unfortunately, harder for you..."
Her children, and mate, they would fade away...never to be reincarnated again...
Least from what he knew.
"I am sorry, if my words troubled you... might there be something else I can do? I do not like seeing others such as yourself, be so down..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:47 am
He got it, understood her questions now- she could tell. Her vision went blurry as her eyes became tearful again, for it was truly to easiest way to deal with the distress she felt now. She'd always been so optimistic, so happy- what had happened? Everything changed when she had cubs, and at first it was wonderful. Oh how things had turned around on her.
"I- I don't know what to do," she said sadly, she did not want to face the deaths of her family, did not want to think about it. "I don't want them to- to- I have seen death before, but my brothers.. they are more likely to be reincarnated than any mortal is."
She remained laying and with her head on her paws, but turned to look at the other god.
"You've done enough by offering your opinion," Mtima said, her voice caught between grateful and distressed. His opinion was not what she'd hoped, but he was honest. She had to stop kidding herself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:00 am
Katana'k didn't know what really to say. He didn't want her to be distressed, didn't want her unhappy. He hated others feeling badly unless it was his brother. He sighed, contemplated in his mind what he could do. But what could he do that was right for him to do?
"I wish I could do more...you have to have pride in yourself, do not let yourself fall too low," he bent down, close enough so he could be the same level as her own eyes, "Its hard, I know...I've lost friends as well, but do you think your family would wish for you to be this distressed? This sad? No. They would want you to smile my dear..."
He knew what pain from death was like, he watched his friends die, watched...watched her die. He hated that fact that he could not save the ones he cared for that were mortals, but what could he do? What could he possibly do?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:14 am
"Pride?" she repeated, blinking a couple times to clear her eyes. She'd not been thinking anything other than self-pity when it came to herself lately. Her pride in herself, her status and her family had all declined shortly after her son discovered her secret and she found out that her friend was having mortal cubs. Returning to such a state of mind sounded near impossible right now.
"No, they would not want me to be this upset," she agreed, "But I can't.. can't seem to feel any other way." It was another moment of self-pity, she was digging herself a hole and hiding there. It was an unconscious attempt to be comforted, be told that it was ok, and to get attention. Why she'd spilled everything to a complete stranger didn't make sense, especially when a stranger was more likely to be honest and not buy into the pity-party.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:18 am
"Then if they would not wish for you to be this upset, why show those tears? I know it will be hard when their time may come, now you have to decide what to do..." he thought of two choices she could do, was it right to say them? Though she was digging herself in a hole, she was hiding herself from the inevitable truth.
"Stay here a while, see what may come...or ...start over." It did seem rather rash, but what else could he tell her? Mortals were that, mortals, they did not live forever, they did not reincarnate, thats why he believed he might not have a family for himself ever again. "You have to find a new way to feel...find something knew to feel...I cannot leave you here now, when your pride does not show, my realm, my soul, my being will not allow it..."
How could he help her though?
He didn't want to push her to the brink of insanity either.
What to do?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:49 am
"Why do you think I have come here?" she answered sadly. Her emotional state was what kept her from being at home, she would not get much understanding from her son or her mate- or, she was not ready yet to show them how worried she'd become. The last thing she wanted was either of them worrying about their own deaths, especially Wahabu. Vanity and worry had kept her away for the day.
"What?" she asked when he made suggestions of what she could do, startled to hear the 'start over'. Her head lifted from her paws and she stared at him in surprise. The stay and pretend everything was normal idea had crossed her mind, but she'd refused to consider the opposite herself.
"I- I couldn't do that," she mumbled. She was cornered, she did not want to make her family think everything was normal and surpress her feelings, but she did not want to abandon them. Then he revealed his domain, and how he couldn't let her remain in such a state. She looked down at his paws, sorry now that she had caught a god in this mess with her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 7:46 pm
"You say you cannot leave, but would you stay and watch them wither? Yes, you could stay for a while, but what happens when their time draws nearer, or it comes about unexpectedly? None of us can predict when death may fall upon us..." Katana'k said with a nod, flicked his tail and turned his head from her, looked somewhere else, he wasn't trying to impose, but her pride in herself, wasn't fully clear to him.
He didn't want it to fade away.
"If you cannot bear to leave them, or leave them yet, why not stay, only for a little while, then maybe go? And visit from time to time? Yes, it would be hard...but what would be harder my dear?"
He did truly hate doing this to her, sad really, but he was also subconsciously afraid of watching those he cared about die.
This was ...strange.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 4:33 pm
Unexpected death. She could remember those beautiful souls tucked comfortably in her friend's middle, and knew that they never made it. They were alive, but then they were not. Despite all expectations, these cubs had barely made it a few hours. It emphasized the fact that death was unpredictable just as well as Katana'k saying it.
"I- I-" she stammered, unable to find any words. Mtima'safi did not want to see them fade, to watch their bodies weaken and their souls escape. She did not want to watch and worry as they risked their lives every day simply by going outside the den.
"I can't do it," Mtima said finally, getting up from a laying position to sit, "I can't stay, but I can't bear the leave them. They are my family, they need me.." She trailed off, the last bit was more for herself than anyone. How much was she really needed? Kilango was doing much better without her, and Wahabu was getting more and more independant. Not to mention Kubwa had handled his son much better than Boma had. Perhaps mortals were best off with mortals.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
