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| Do you think our society values femininity? |
| No; but it is not an important subject for me. |
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25% |
[ 4 ] |
| No; and it is important to me. |
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62% |
[ 10 ] |
| Yes; but it is not an important subject for me. |
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12% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 16 |
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 Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:03 am
I would like to get other's views on the subject. I want to first describe my views. I am attracted to women who are very feminine, though, I do not meet very many women who are. I do not think our society thse days values women who are feminine. I am in college, and most of the women I see are quite masculine- wearing pants, speaking coarsely like males, and having masculine demeanors int he way they walk and present themselves. I am not one to condemn anyone else for their behavior, but it is disappointing to me. I rarely meet women who speak softly and who dress femininely. I know Japanese girls who do, but not many American. And when I speak about it, it almost seems they are embarrassed to be feminine. Since when did it become embarrassing to be a woman? To me, what is delicate, soft and pure is attractive, yet in our culture most men value vulgar and overtly sexualy women. The egl culture is so very beautiful to me and my heart loves it so very much. In egl I find the same values of women and standards of beauty that I have.
Please, everyone share your thoughts with me. I want to know others opinions on the matter.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:08 am
I think you're right, that society doesn't look at femininity the same way that they used to. It's sad that girls are taught to be sluts, and that they will be looked down upon for retaining actual moral standards in today's cuture.
I must admit that although I am quite different from how you described some girls in that, I still do act kind of like them.
I just kinda switch with my mood. o>o;;
Maybe, it's not that women have become like this, but that they just don't show that side of themselves to other people.
Well, that was my two cents. n>n
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 1:35 pm
I think.. that our parents teach us to be feminine, but.. the media tells us that its not the way to be. Its sad. I look up to those beautiful feminine actresses like Audry Hepburn and Greta Barbow... and I want to preserve that goodness.
If Lolita does make the big jump across the ocean, I think that some views of feminity will come back also.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:24 pm
I don't know.. I think it's because most people or rather, most women, see being feminine and quiet as weaker traits. They think that by being soft and demur, they are deferring to men and thus saying that the male gender is their superior. Which they are not. Also, in the society, being loud and coarse is viewed as a show of strength - of fearlessness. But it's more often than not, a way to cover up fear and weakness. Both men and women are equal, but for many women, the only way to say that is to act like men. Most cultures do say that women are inferior, and so women are constantly trying to prove themselves by doing as men do. Which is somewhat sad. I think that's why. 3nodding
Gothic Lolita mimics the culture and standards from the Victorian era, so most extreme female Lolita devotees are quieter and proper. After all, that was how many women in the Victorian era acted. With the modern culture, such traits are, as you said, no longer desired in most women. Still, I think most of it is just different people's personalities. Some girls, like me, are shier and quieter, while others, like my friend, find it easier to be loud and coarse.
As for women wearing pants.. I think that's just because it's easier. They're easier to do things in, and it's modest. I mean, it's much harder to accidently show your undergarments in pants, than skirts, which can fly up in a strong wind or something. xP
And.. that's the end of my rambling I think. ^^; I hope at least some of it made sense.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 7:32 pm
You're quite right. I have noticed in my school that the guys seem to have more atrraction to the girls who wear jeans and t-shirts than the rare girls who wear skirts. Even then, they're short jean skirts. They even stopped looking at me after they got used to my attire.
And it is quite sad. Because all the girls I know, even myself, swear quite frequently and slouch, and act not very femmy.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:51 pm
It is quite sad, our society today. Its rare that anyone looks at me to like, mostly upon the way I dress. I dress modestly and people question it, like something is wrong with covering up. Its quite distasteful, those girls who dress to attract, and take advantage of their beauty. But then again, in the past women have been only looked upon as a pretty object and not a human being, so when that was changed, it went to an extreme, and now you can mistake women for me. They wanted to be equal I suppose, but I think that women should treasure their feminity. It is truly something special that has been lost in most of our society.
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 5:30 pm
I think that it is unfortunate when women believe they need to be overtly sexual and must be the centre of attention in order to attract a man. I believe that a woman should be modest. However, I have no real problem with girls who aren't quiet and shy. I don't think a woman necessarily has to be "quiet and shy" to be feminine, I DO think however that when women are too bold and try too hard to get one's attention, is it unattractive.
The reason women aren't "quiet and shy" anymore is because being so tends to give a sign of male dominance and female obedience.
I am not quiet and shy, but it doesn't mean that I am not feminine. Neither am I sexual and bold. I think that when a woman is too quiet and shy, she is giving in to male superiority. I think one can be feminine, while able to stand up for themselves. Usually females who are very shy and quiet, will give in easily and not stand up for herself or her opinions.
I agree that women should be elegant and that they should not be too vulgar or too sexual or try too hard to be the centre of attention. But I also believe that women don't have to be shy and quiet or submersive and obedient to be feminine. In my mind, being feminine means being proud to be a woman, without the traditional values of being a woman (eg. housecleaning, cooking, obedient, etc.)
But that's just my opinion biggrin
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 5:41 pm
I find it funny. On my good days i act loli. For a guy i know it must look wierd for a guy to walk in meak, quiet, polite. Ya know i dont think its a feminin thing. Maybe its being meak. But there is a pure which a very nice .... um looking for a right word. Arora? nah to smelly.
but what do i know.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 11:09 am
I believe that femininity is not really valued in society because as many have probably said, the media. Many celebraties or everyday people that others look up to are presenting themselves as not being that feminine. Then others that do show they are feminine are often looked down upon or not even looked at because they are not taking on the "tough" look....it all sounds better in my head sweatdrop
Myself in the way I dress is how I feel. If I am feeling feminine that day then subconciously I may pick out something to where that has the feminine look. If I am feeling more laid back/not really up to putting myself together I may throw on a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt. Or if I am just in the mood to wear what is there I may wear something thats mixed between nice and laid back, meaning a pair of jeans and a nice top and so on. I think that makes sense.
So when people see how others is dressed it is what they are seeing as being feminine. And of course its not just clothing. It could be their over all presence.
I adore the Loli style and if it has an impact on future or even nows femininity then YAY!
Yes it all sounded better in my head...but that is what I have to say
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:26 pm
Ryashaa I don't know.. I think it's because most people or rather, most women, see being feminine and quiet as weaker traits. They think that by being soft and demur, they are deferring to men and thus saying that the male gender is their superior. Which they are not. Also, in the society, being loud and coarse is viewed as a show of strength - of fearlessness. But it's more often than not, a way to cover up fear and weakness. Both men and women are equal, but for many women, the only way to say that is to act like men. Most cultures do say that women are inferior, and so women are constantly trying to prove themselves by doing as men do. Which is somewhat sad. I think that's why. 3nodding
Gothic Lolita mimics the culture and standards from the Victorian era, so most extreme female Lolita devotees are quieter and proper. After all, that was how many women in the Victorian era acted. With the modern culture, such traits are, as you said, no longer desired in most women. Still, I think most of it is just different people's personalities. Some girls, like me, are shier and quieter, while others, like my friend, find it easier to be loud and coarse.
As for women wearing pants.. I think that's just because it's easier. They're easier to do things in, and it's modest. I mean, it's much harder to accidently show your undergarments in pants, than skirts, which can fly up in a strong wind or something. xP
And.. that's the end of my rambling I think. ^^; I hope at least some of it made sense. Quote: I think.. that our parents teach us to be feminine, but.. the media tells us that its not the way to be. Its sad. I look up to those beautiful feminine actresses like Audry Hepburn and Greta Barbow... and I want to preserve that goodness. If Lolita does make the big jump across the ocean, I think that some views of feminity will come back also
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:32 pm
g_e_n_e_s_i_s I think that it is unfortunate when women believe they need to be overtly sexual and must be the centre of attention in order to attract a man. I believe that a woman should be modest. However, I have no real problem with girls who aren't quiet and shy. I don't think a woman necessarily has to be "quiet and shy" to be feminine, I DO think however that when women are too bold and try too hard to get one's attention, is it unattractive. The reason women aren't "quiet and shy" anymore is because being so tends to give a sign of male dominance and female obedience. I am not quiet and shy, but it doesn't mean that I am not feminine. Neither am I sexual and bold. I think that when a woman is too quiet and shy, she is giving in to male superiority. I think one can be feminine, while able to stand up for themselves. Usually females who are very shy and quiet, will give in easily and not stand up for herself or her opinions. I agree that women should be elegant and that they should not be too vulgar or too sexual or try too hard to be the centre of attention. But I also believe that women don't have to be shy and quiet or submersive and obedient to be feminine. In my mind, being feminine means being proud to be a woman, without the traditional values of being a woman (eg. housecleaning, cooking, obedient, etc.) But that's just my opinion biggrin
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:41 pm
SupaKawaii I find it funny. On my good days i act loli. For a guy i know it must look wierd for a guy to walk in meak, quiet, polite. Ya know i dont think its a feminin thing. Maybe its being meak. But there is a pure which a very nice .... um looking for a right word. Arora? nah to smelly. but what do i know. [/size[
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:44 pm
Airikaru-x I believe that femininity is not really valued in society because as many have probably said, the media. Many celebraties or everyday people that others look up to are presenting themselves as not being that feminine. Then others that do show they are feminine are often looked down upon or not even looked at because they are not taking on the "tough" look....it all sounds better in my head sweatdrop
Myself in the way I dress is how I feel. If I am feeling feminine that day then subconciously I may pick out something to where that has the feminine look. If I am feeling more laid back/not really up to putting myself together I may throw on a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt. Or if I am just in the mood to wear what is there I may wear something thats mixed between nice and laid back, meaning a pair of jeans and a nice top and so on. I think that makes sense.
So when people see how others is dressed it is what they are seeing as being feminine. And of course its not just clothing. It could be their over all presence.
I adore the Loli style and if it has an impact on future or even nows femininity then YAY!
Yes it all sounded better in my head...but that is what I have to say
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 6:28 am
I detest loudness without reason. When provoked, I expect people, male or female to stand up for themselves; submission for the sake of "feminity" disgusts me. However, that is not to say that I'm against "girliness". I hate the way girls are looked at funny if they like wearing dresses or lacey things. Why do we all have to be tomboys in order to be attractive? Of course the reason gals have to act "masculine" goes back to what everyone else has been saying about our society giving positive feedback to "masculine" traits and negative feedback to "feminine" ones. ie making fun of "girly" boys/men & calling "manly" girls spunky or cute little tomboys. Its a disgusting double standard, we should all be allowed to wear pink dresses regardless of gender without fear of society's disapproval. domokun
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 2:14 am
Depending on when a person sees me, I can be anything from feminine to masculine, and everything in between. I don't have a permanent position on the gender spectrum.
That said, I do agree that femininity is undervalued in society. This has depressed me for quite some time as I also like feminine women. I don't mind girls who have the cute lil-boi-dyke thing going on, but women who are vulgar, blatantly whorish, and total skags are a major turnoff. I like modesty. ^_^ For instance, one of the things my sister and I are making for me is a variety of cute and lacey bloomers for me to wear under my skirts. I also wear pants, but I'm not one of those girls who is a member of the a** Crack Club. I keep my pants up high enough to ensure that my a** stays hidden as it should, whereas many of the other females I know wear these lowrise pants with their thongs hiked up high. It's so gross.
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