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In loving memory... (Edited)

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Bajynah

PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:28 pm


You went through rough times
We were all by your side
You broke many a crimes
And yet we still reside

A friend we thought was close
Said he'd help you back up
Money made things gross
You fell for a final thump

Things happend on your absence
The friend went spiraling down
Now you are an essence
To be buried in the ground

You were in his thoughts
Things were rushing through his head
Finally after all the shots
You were on the ground dead

You were the best to us
No one could compete
You never put up a fuss
But now you're off your feet

R.I.P. Jeremiah
We all love you.

This was a poem I just wrote.
I got news of my friends death.
I dont know how to over come it.
To get my head straight I... Wrote.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 4:59 pm


Sorry to hear that, Mike... sad Touching poem.

(...I feel that there could be another stanza for the end)

scooterdude34
Crew


Bajynah

PostPosted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 6:34 pm


scooterkid34
Sorry to hear that, Mike... sad Touching poem.

(...I feel that there could be another stanza for the end)

I agree but I dont know what to put on it for now :/
PostPosted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 8:54 pm


Well I changed a line if you could tell and added a new stanza.

Bajynah


scooterdude34
Crew

PostPosted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 5:09 pm


Better ending. Sums it up better, I think.
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Poetry / Writing

 
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