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 Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 11:34 am
AIM RP Log: Mtima'safi and Kilango
It was just another day in the Pridelands, beautiful and calm as it usually seemed to be. For Mtima'safi, however, the day was no quite so pleasant. A surprising visit from a friend had left her stunned and thoughtful, thinking about her life- the way she lived before, the way she was living now, the lives of her family. It all seemed so strange to her to be in a situation she was in without ever having questioned it. She thought about Wahabu, thought about Kilango and about Kizamaji. She thought about her brothers, those who'd left but not yet returned. The soul goddess was doing a lot of thinking, in fact. With her mind wandering away from her activities, she strolled along without a word or any attention on what was around her. She neared the borders of the Pridelands, her wings folded comfortably on her back and her eyes staring off into the distance.
Kilango was nearby, her mind was pointing her in a specific direction, to find something. Or mostly, someone. She happened to be passing, oblivously walking nearby her mother. She almost walked by until she spotted some yellow in the corner of her eye, as she turned to face a revealed Goddess. The markings seemed familiar, but the appearance was not. She curiously padded closer, to examine the lioness. She spoke softly, as she approached Mtima'safi. "Excuse me, could you uhhhm, help me out? I was just wondering if you were ... ... related to my mother ... ... " She paused, her jaw dropping in awe. " ... ... Mtima'safi."
She stood still silently, awaiting a response from the Goddess. The young lioness was more calm than ever, which was completely different from the last time they had seen each other.
Mtima'safi was caught off guard by a familiar voice calling out to her, and she was drawn firmly away from her thoughts when she turned to see a familiar form with an unfamiliar soul. Her own expression was much like Kilango's, mouth agape and eyes wide. She almost never expected to see Kilango again, for that was certainly who she was physically- and it was rare to see such changes within another, for Kilango certainly did not carry the same aggression she had before. There was a glimmer of something that has always been there, something that had been there when they last spoke, something she had almost convinced herself she imagined.
Not only that, but Kilango now saw her in her natural form, and seemed not quite able to recognize her.
"Kilango," she choked out, swallowing hard and regaining her usual voice before going on, "Kilango- you've grown so much.." It seemed nearly impossible that Kilango would not be the little girl she had sat with through a first vision, that someone could get so much bigger and older in so short a time. It had to be the fact that they had not seen each other, for she'd never seen it quite so obviously in Wahabu. They were definetely not cubs anymore.
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:02 pm
Kilango was shocked more than ever, as she came closer to the Goddess. She just couldn't understand what was going on. Thoughts were swirling through her mind, about the lioness infront of her. ... was that really her own mother? She looked down, shedding a few tears.
"... ... Mother?" She looked up, examining the lioness. After the thoughts clicked, she knew. She darted over to Mtima'safi, to hug her tightly. "Mother ... ... I ... I missed you. So much. I had no intentions of ever returning to these lands, but ... ... then things happened. I had a vision of a young cub, who ... needed help. So I came as soon as I could. I only hope that she is still alright. ... I ... didn't expect to run into you, though." She sighed, upset with the actions she chose to take as a cub, herself. A few more tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm ... soo sorry. I never mean't to leave you and father. ... ... "
She clung onto the Goddess, too worried of other things than what her mother looked like.
Mtima stared dumbly for a moment as the realization sunk into her daughter, and as she came over and hugged her. The goddess' initial reaction was to stand there, still quite surprised to be so received by her runaway daughter or even to see her. It took a moment, hearing that she was missed but had not intended to come back.. Mtima finally returned the hug, holding her daughter close to her. It was hard to take in the whole story in all of the confusion and surprise, but she caught the main points of the story.
"Y-you came back to help a cub?" she repeated, leaning back a bit to look at her daughter. It must be hard to face your parents after what you've done, hearing an apology helped her calm down almost as much as hearing the young lioness had no intention or expectation of seeing neither her nor her father again on this trip hurt her. She looked at Kilango without another word. There was so much to ask, all worries most mothers would have- was she all right? Where was she living? Did she know anyone? Was she eating well- she did look kind of thin..
Kilango jumped on what her mother repeated. "Yes, I saw a hurt cub in the Pridelands ... ... that needed help. I'm going to take her in, bring her back with me to the Bahari'mtoto. She needs a home, a mother. ... ... I didn't want to just let her go. Unhelped." She looked away, sighing. "On another note, I traveled to the Sea Pride in the East. Its ... ... amazing Mother. The sea is a beautiful sight, it truely is. Kikore, Palesa and I are planning on joining. Palesa has truely helped me out over the many months, although -- no one can replace my real mother."
She peered out over the lands, observing the unchanged landscapes. "The Pridelands is still as beautiful as ever. It hasn't changed one bit."
Mtima listened to everything Kilango said, wondering if she knew what kinds of questions were going through her mind for her words certainly seemed to cover most of them. She was going to save a cub, and join the Sea Pride with a new family. Her own family, Mtima imagined, one that she had found for herself instead of found herself in. The goddess had never seen the sea herself, and normally she might be tempted to go and see it after hearing about it but part of her still did not quite believe everything Kilango was saying. Would she be intruding at all? Of course, she could do it without being seen by an locals, but meeting others sometimes made the trips more fun.
"No, but there are some changes in the Pride," she commented, still looking only to Kilango and not to their surroundings. Words still seemed to escape her, "A- are you happy where you are?"
It was a silly question, almost, but she had to ask it. How Kilango spoke, how Kilango acted, how much she had changed- they all indicated that she was much better off where she was, and that she loved it there. The goddess still wanted to hear it aloud.
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:35 pm
She turned to look at Mtima, a confused look in her eyes. "Honestly, even I cannot tell, mom. I'm happy where I am ... ... because I have slowly fallen in ... love. But, I still am missing something. ... I am missing you. And dad, and Wahabu. ... I just wish you could all come and join me in the lands in the East, but ... that would be unfair. I cannot choose your paths or run your lives, just like you equally cannot to me. Its just that, the distance is far. I don't know when our paths will ever meet again, and thats coming from someone who can see the future."
At the declaration that Kilango had fallen in love, Mtima started. Her daughter thought she was in love, did she? She returned to a stare at the young lioness, wondering how such things could happen. Kilango was still herself, but a different part of her seemed to be showing. The part that Mtima had worked so hard to try to get to show, and it only took her running away to get it there. And now Kilango was open to love, and being in love.. but she was so young. Just like the lion Mtima knew that was about to become a father without knowing it yet.
"You're in love?" she asked, sounding as surprised as she felt, "Kilango- you know that you're still young, right? You shouldn't be so hasty.."
Who was she to judge time? She certainly was forced to realize how short mortal life can be- if you find love, why wait? The optimist in her told her that when you find love to hold onto it, much like she'd done with Kizamaji. Life was short, and she continued to try to ignore that fact, but it was getting harder and harder.
Kilango looked away, upset with her mother's reaction. "You .. ... have no idea what i've been through. ... ... He ... protected me, made me feel safe out there. Even though I creeped him out when we were younger, something ... still clicked." She sighed, her eyes straying away from the Goddess. "I just can't believe your so negative on the subject. ... ... Anyways, I didn't come all this way to get a love lecture from my own mother. I came here to rescue a cub who needs my help dearly." She rolled her eyes with disgust. "Besides, you don't have any right to comment. What about you and dad? Father was my age when Wahabu and I were born. ... ... so, whats with the change of your thoughts all of a sudden? Are you simply too afraid to face the reality of your only daughter possibly birthing cubs in the near future?"
She looked back at Mtima, a smirk on her maw.
That was the Kilango that Mtima knew, and she was almost sad to see it come back.
"No, I don't know what you've been through, but that is not my fault," she argued back, her voice calm and had none of the usual distress it held when she'd gotten into arguements with her daughter before. This was an important topic, and after life became so much easier when Kilango left she was not so willing to put up with it. Perhaps it was the fact she could see more of Kilango's good side that got her to stay so calm, "Your father was older than you are right now, not a good deal older but older none the less. Not to mention you are a female, and it can be dangerous for one so young to give birth. Be certain you know what you want before you get into something." Mtima was tired of seeing those she loved pregnant and panicked, she would not want that to happen to her own daughter. She had even been put in charge of taking care of some cubs that would be given to her shortly after their birth. If nothing else, she wanted Kilango to be sure and not sorry for whatever happens.
"You might understand when you have more experience in life and have your own daughters to worry about," she remarked, "However soon you decide to make that."
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 1:20 pm
The young adolescent came back to her mother's side, frowning. "I'm sorry ... I didn't mean it that way."
She sat down beside the lioness, to ponder on the subject. She turned to look at her mother. "I ... just. ... I know what i'm getting into, I really do. But, I ... want cubs. And I know that if it ever were to happen, Kikore would never leave me. He's the nicest lion i've ever met. If I do ever have cubs, and something goes wrong -- I would never regret it. Cubs ... are too precious to regret." A smile wiped across her maw, as her eyes shined with happiness.
Kilango's reaction to the first time Mtima really stood her ground in an arguement was surprising, as the whole encounter seemed to be, but she managed to keep it to herself this time. Mtima stayed on her feet, and kept her eyes on her daughter as she explained the situation. She was not surprised in the least to hear that it was Kikore that she'd found herself in love with, for she was certain her guess was correct from the start about them being her own family. Kilango looked so happy, and insisted she knew what she was getting into. It was of some comfort to hear that she would never regret it, but Mtima knew that sometimes things changed. At least, unlike with the others, Kilango sounded like she was actually planning and hoping for this to happen and not just letting herself get caught up in the moment. The moment was extended beyond one simple encounter, and hopefully that would make her experiences different than that of Mtima's friends.
"Just be careful," she said firmly, words that indicated she had some worries about it but would accept whatever Kilango did, for certainly she would not be able to stop her.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 7:34 pm
Kilango sighed, and turned away. "Mother, I will always be careful. I have a life now, and I don't want to lose it." She squinted her eyes, as she returned her view to the Goddess.
"I still don't understand. ... why are you a goddess? ... why didn't you tell me?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 7:43 pm
Mtima's eyes narrowed at the mention of first, having a life now and second at not wanting to lose it. She would have said something were the youth's attention not suddenly turned on the wings she was still not hiding.
"I've always been a goddess," she said matter-of-factly, "Cubs have big mouths, and I don't want to ruin any traditions and beliefs the pride might have."
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 6:06 pm
Kilango sighed. "But, mom. ... ... your the nicest lioness i've ever met. Even if you were a goddess. ... ... the Pride would accept you for who you were. Not for being a god."
She rolled her eyes. "Not like I had any friends in the Pridelands, anyways. My little cub mouth wouldn't have gossiped to anyone." She was confused by why Mtima waited until now to tell her. "My life would've played differently if I knew that you were a goddess, mom."
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 8:44 pm
It was odd to hear Kilango say such nice things about her, and part of her couldn't help but question why she said it. She sighed at Kilango's idea that they would accept her for her and not her being a god, "By hiding that I am a god, I have shown respect for their traditions and beliefs. By pretending to be mortal, they have accepted me for me, and were given no other option. I am no different as a mortal than as a god, only a bit less extroverted as a mortal."
The goddess only frowned at her daughter as she claimed not to have had any friends to gossip to, and how her life would have been different. Part of Mtima believed it, but another part of her said it was not so. Kilango was contradicting herself in saying that no one would care that she was a goddess, yet her own life would have been different.
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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 4:54 pm
Kilango sighed lightly as her view returned back at Mtima. "... and why else did I leave this Pride, mother? If they cannot accept you for being of the immortal, then this place is not fit for even you. They don't need respect. They need the truth. There are members of this Pride who lie more than you do." She snorted angrily, as she turned away from the goddess. "Yes, I was stupid to leave, but ... most of the pride didn't like me very well from the start. Just because of the problems I had mentally, because I had something I could not control."
"Honestly, i'm glad I left. This place hasn't changed -- nor has the members of it. I now live in a more quiet, peaceful place. The ocean breeze keeps me calm, and wanting to come back to it's shores more than ever. And its far, far away from this place called 'home'." Her ears swiveled back as she paused. She had nothing more to speak of to her mother, and she wanted to get out of here. Although she had a reason for coming home in the first place, her mind slowly came to a blank, where this 'memory' once was. She had forgotten why she came back to the lands -- maybe it was simply to meet up with her mother, and say a formal goodbye, but even now she was clueless.
She stared down at the ground below, confused for a moment.
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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 5:07 pm
"I have not lied, I have withheld a fact about myself that no one but my own family should concern themselves with," Mtima answered in response to her questions of the pride, "They might well have accepted me, but it was my decision not to force anything upon them." The goddess considered what Kilango said, and figured the pride may well not have liked her much but she hardly saw how that all had built up to her trying to kill Wahabu and running off right after that. Perhaps there was something she couldn't control there, and when she saw it she had to leave. That was a lot to try to believe about a cub.
"You have found happiness," she said seriously, "Enjoy what your family was not able to give you. Go back to your new home, live your life in peace and calm. And allow the same for others."
It was a round-about way of telling her not to force her opinion on Mtima, to not ruin anyone else's happiness (Wahabu was the first to come to mind), but more than that it was sincere instruction. Mtima'safi wanted nothing more than for her cubs to be happy, and Kilango made it clear she was happy without them and by the ocean where she'd gone. If that made her happy, that was where she should be.
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