|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:31 pm
 It was a beginning like clockwork. Five seconds it took for the jays overhead to exude their daily melodies. Five minutes it took for the rising sun to breach the hilltops and turn night into a new daylight. Five hours had passed and now five new beginnings were sleeping quietly in the reflection of their mother's eyes.
Seeming to be crossed in an emotion between confusion and concentration, that mother's green eyes turned from one tiny ball of fur in the grass to the next in an order as predictable as the morning itself. One, two, three, four, five.... five of them. Each one her eyes rested on caught her mottled attention more than the one before and each one reminded her further of what she could not have anymore.
Four--four was the number of cubs that bore marks that her mother did, the X over one eye, a feather, green toes; they all swirled around in Kia's own pools of vision and memory into a painful mess that resembled a single resolute fact: that even though she wanted to, she could not leave these painful reminders of what she once could freely visit.
Weak, Kia laid in the grass staring sadly at those cubs--Her cubs in the grass. It only took her but a moment to remember and realize that three of them bore that golden colored fur that Kia knew belonged to Ezeoha. It was a dilemma as simple as clockwork. She had made a mistake, and now, Kia feared, she would be alone to suffer the consequences.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:50 pm
It had been awhile since Ezeoha had met up with Kia, in fact, he had not seen her since that fateful first meeting. They had parted their ways, and Ezeoha expected nothing to come of it. All their meeting amounted up to was a little bit of fun and adventure. He had coaxed Kia out of her shell, and his raging hormones were finally permitted to be used up. Ezeoha had never expected to be able to do what he had done with Kia. At the least, it would've taken him weaks to coax her into the situation. But she had abandoned whatever natural nerve she had, and they had been united for a few, passionate hours.
Now, he was seeing her form again, that undeniable brown tint lying in the fields of tall, yellow grass. Immediately his stomach flipped in excitement, mind immediately jumping to the hope that there would be a repeat of their first experience. She certainly had enjoyed herslf, and so there was nothing there to prevent them from getting together again. With this in mind, his pace quickened, and he brought himself to her side.
But, something made him stop, something soft could be felt against his paw. Curiously he peered downwards, and it seemed as if his eyes had grown two sizes larger in the span of five seconds. Touching him was a small form, with light, golden coloring that clearly matched his own. Even on the little female's back was his characteristic marking... she was a little him, and it did not take him long to jump to the conclusion that the five little things lying on the ground were his.
He yelped in shock, taking a few steps back so he could see the small creatures more clearly. Then, his head shot up, red eyes fixing with shock upon Kia's form. Yes, Kia's markings could be seen on these children. They were her's - her's and his. "K-Kia?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:04 pm
Kia's ears turned back as a small, sudden yelp rung within the corridors of her mind. If she hadn't been so thouroughly distracted already she might have been surprised by the noise, but today her eyes only lazily turned upwards to meet the source of the noise as if she couldn't care whether whatever had just come was to bring her help or harm.
Two red eyes she met with a look of shock equal to his own. Her eyes dilated and the lady swallowed hard. She had never thought that she would ever see him again, but there he stood, in all his carefree glory, Ezeoha.
Her brows were still raised, a pained expression remaining where sunshine and smiles normally resided, and she frowned, her eyes quickly averting themselves from the reaches of his gaze to the comfort of the lifeless dirt. If circumstances were different, she should have liked to see Ezeoha again, to enjoy his company if not his touch, but now she couldn't help but link Ezeoha to the cubs at her feet and they, dispite her aunt's reassurance, she did not love.
Her expression was filled almost with shame as she bore her eyes into the ground, her brows knotting as she ran her eyes over each of the cubs once more. His voice seemed, for the first time, unsteady, perhaps he was as confused as she was. The embarrassment of knowing that he could be as ashamed as she was caused Kia to fall silent for a good while, her eyes never leaving from the ground and the grass as she traced the cubs' features once more. one. two. three. four.... five.
She drew a long breath and exhaled slowly, prolonging the silence as much as she could before she finally pulled her voice together somehow and formed the first distinguishable words that she had spoken all day
"Hello Ezeoha" she said formally, quietly "It is very nice to see you again" her tone was sheepish and detatched, her eyes still not daring to raise themselves to greet his. He surely must have known, they looked so much like him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 1:54 pm
"Hello," his voice was tight, strained with conflicting emotions. A part of him was distressed that he had missed their births, that Kia had disappeared so far from his sight that he had been unaware of her condition. Kia had successfully hidden from him, and in doing so had hidden the cubs he was already becoming attached to. He wanted to scoop the small bodies up in his paws and hold them to him, feel the warmth and know that they were his. It was the same feeling he had gotten when Nunda, his once only son, had been born. This was his family, and he was so glad he had happened upon Kia now. She needed his support, he was sure of it.
"It is wonderful to see you again, and who you have brought with you." Seeking to reassure her in some way, tell her that it was alright, he took a few steps forward, carefully avoiding stepping on any of the babies, and lowered his head to nuzzle against her cheek. A soft purr rumbled in his chest, and he tried his hardest to be a comforting presence. He had no idea what was going on in her mind, if she had expected to be alone to raise these cubs, or if she even wanted him. He wanted desperately to take a dip into her mind, sort through her thoughts, and take the best measures to soothe and appease her.
"They're mine and your's, aren't they?" He did not truly need to ask, because he already knew, but words could be taken as another sign of comfort, and he was not giving up on his task to make her feel like a queen. This was supposed to be a joyous time, but he could since something was wrong with her. He could sense some of her happiness, and he wanted to remedy it. "They're beautiful, don't you agree?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:27 am
Only a small portion of comfort came from the feeling of his cheek against hers. One feeling of worry was certainly quieted, he was not upset, he did not seem worried. His reassurance gave her the courage to look him squarely in the face once more, a sort of kindness she found in his eyes that even caused her to smile slightly, but her eyes, even in the shelter of this smile, were slowly welling with tears.
She did truly believe she would be alone through all of this, but somehow now that she wasn't she only felt embarrased and shamed. As her smile slowly faded she nodded in reponse to his query. Yes, the cubs were his and the cubs were hers....hers.
"I suppose you might call them beautiful." she said, the usual luster of her face extinguished by the lack of any emotion.
Ezeoha, if he wished, could call them beautiful all he wanted, but Kia could not directly agree with him. After all, all these cubs could not be described as 'beautiful' in Kia's mind, but only 'unexpected'. Surely she knew, as all must, what consequences could have came from that day. Unfortunately she made the mistake of expecting that nothing would happen and now she had to look to Ezeoha with a forced smile and respond..
"Yes, they are indeed a beautiful surprise"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:44 am
His exterior was calm and smooth, projecting every warm feeling he could conjure in order to comfort Kia. But, his interior was thriving with fear, because he was sensing something that he knew was wrong, and that could only become worse. She was unhappy. To her, these cubs weren't the miraculous surprise that he found them to be. It almost seemed as if she was coming very close to hating her own children. They were an unfortunate accident to her, while to him they were a fortunate accident.
The two of them had completely different ideas about the situation...
And they would clash, he realized with a dreadful feeling washing over him. He could not possibly predict how things would turn out, but he knew that something bad was going to happen. Call it a sixth sense or plain intuition, but he knew this, and was going to try his hardest to prevent it from happening. The cubs did not deserve parents who fought with one another.
"Have you given them names yet?" It was a desperate tactic to get Kia to enjoy some of the aspects of having cubs. When he and Chinara had named Nunda'kilinda, it had been one of the most exciting times he had experienced. It was giving his child an identity, a place in this world. Since he had enjoyed it, he was hoping Kia would or would've enjoyed it as well.
"One looks exactly like you, y'know. Isn't she adorable? I don't know where the teal came from on that boy, or the blue eyes on the other... Hmmm, I swear I'll need to sit down and spend hours staring at them and figuring them out." He was rambling on, a little, but he wanted to drag her attention to the beautiful things about their children.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:28 pm
Her eyebrows rose and arched as she looked down at the tiny fluffs of fur. She longed to adore them, to delight in how much they looked like Ezeoha, in how much they looked like her, in how much they reminded her of the one thing she did love in her life, her family. It was just too hard to believe that these cubs were family now, that this male in front of her... he was family?
She looked back up to Ezeoha, a warm feeling rising within her at his understanding, his presence truly was becoming a comfort now that she noticed his little efforts at being wonderful. He was being wonderful, so much more than she had hoped, but yet she did not love him. She was supposed to love him, she was supposed to love the father of her cubs, but yet all she could feel for him was an affection that she shared with friends, not family, certainly not a lover.
"No, none of them. I haven't named a single one." she finally said, looking at him with a curious expression that seemed to personify a certain nervous contentedness that seemed neither placid or unsettled. She gazed down at the children for a while, noticing each thing that he pointed out.
Remembering where the 'mystery markings' came from, Kia bit her bottom lip, pleading with her heart to please let her love these cubs. They seemed to be a peice of something that she didn't have anymore, but yet the more she pleaded with her heart the louder the emptiness spoke. That's what she felt towards the cubs? Empty? That wasn't the way a mother was supposed to feel about her children especially when they reminded her so much of.....
"The eyes.... the toes.... and the X as well all belong to my mother." Her voice turned almost shaky as she spoke, a silent tear rolling down her cheek as the empty feeling finally consumed her and Kia looked back up at Ezeoha with pleading eyes before speaking again
"I....I can't do this" she said with a horrified look on her face, shaking her head slowly as if in shock or regret of what she just said, but it was her heart speaking and not her head. And not many's heart, especially not Kia's, can be stopped.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:58 pm
"Well," he said, his voice full of warmth, and he settled down beside her, gaze flickering between her and the cubs, as if he did not know which one he wanted to look upon more. "Naming them's the best part. You get to fight over me with what's the best name for them, and it really is a blast." He turned his head to her, giving her that large, cheesy grin that could be so endearing at times.
"Oh, well that would certainly explain the little surprises in them. That would certainly explain where these oddities came from. You're mother must've been a pretty lioness. The blue eyes are wonderful, and I wish I had an 'X' over my own eye. I would've looked awesome." His gaze had swept back over to the cubs, admiring them in turn. Five little beauties, five of which he had created, Kia and him. But when his gaze returned to Kia, he saw that tear, and his heart twisted in pain. The children had taken a greater psychological toll on her then he had suspected.
Now came the time when he had to stop her from cracking, had to prevent her from rash decisions. But he couldn't think, he did no tknow what he needed to do in order to calm her. His red eyes widened in surprise, the muscles of his body tensing as if expecting some blow from her, for her to blame him for the cubs' birth. It was, admittedly, his fault, but she had helped them reach the means in which to produce their children. But she would not think it her fault, she would think it his, and he was doomed.
"Why can't you?" His voice was as soothing as he could make it, for his nerves were jumpy and he was on the verge of having his own mental breakdown. "I am here to help you; we'll raise them together, and it wont be hard. I can hunt, too, and I have family that should help us. I promise, you can do this."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:24 pm
She looked sadly at him, wishing that she could express to him exactly how she felt without saying anything, it would be so much easier, hurt so much less, then having to watch his expression change as she explained herself one painful word at a time. This wasn't an easy thing to explain either, she barely even understood it herself. All she knew is that she wasn't able, she couldn't, it wouldn't work, and even if she tried she would suffer and so would he and the cubs, Kia would never want that.
"Ezeoha," she said, her features wrinkled into a pained expression as she spoke "I just can't. It wouldn't be possible..... it's not right" She stared down at the cub that looked so much like herself and water streamed lightly from her eyes again.
She looked to Ezeoha's eyes and tried to seem reasonable, but knew she could not be, she would be the enemy through all this wouldn't she? Either way she would lose, one way she would lose her pride, but the other she would lose her heart.
"It cant be right." she stared into his eyes seriously as she spoke "Whatever you feel in your heart for these cubs... I dont." her face recoiled and her stomach flopped over sickly as the awful words rumbled like thunder in her head, but she continued. "Where I should be feeling joy and happiness and love I feel nothing, dead air is all that's there."
She stifled sobs as tears rolled down her face, trying to remain calm as she felt herself ripping whatever decency was left of her. She never wanted to be this type of lionness, she never planned on it, but here she was.
"you are.... wonderful.... but seeing these every day, it would only remind me of a few things that I would never be able to have." she said sadly, sullenly as she seemed to implore him to understand with her eyes.
"It wouldn't be fair to love what I dont have more than my children" she grimaced, feeling as if she was speaking poisonous words. She looked down at their cubs, only barely controlling her mounting sorrow as her pathetic gaze returned to Ezeoha
"I have greater loves than this, Ezeoha. You must understand."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
