t was a warm Summmer night in Newark, New Jersey. The streetlights were beaming outside my window as I tried to ignore the sounds of passing cars and just attempt to get some sleep. But right now I thought that to be impossible. Why? Because my mother was drunk and passed out in the other room and when she wakes up, I know she will punish me for a number of crimes I didn't commit. I sighed and decided that since I wouldn't be getting any sleep at all knowing of what would become of me in the morning. So that is when I decided to take a walk. I didn't know where I would go at this hour of the night, but I figured anywhere was better than here. I crawled off my mattress on the floor and slipped on my shoes. When I went out to the living room, I saw my mother lying there on the couch obviously drunk as hell. Her arms and legs were sprawled over the side of the couch, her mouth hanging open. I slipped out the door and walked outside to only be greeted by the smell of liquor. The broken bottles crunched beneath my feet as I went to examine the damage to the tree. The only tree that was in our yard was the only thing that I liked about this hell hole. I ran my fingers over a new carving in the tree. This time of two hearts broken and bleeding down the trunk of the tree. I gently kissed it before walking toward the streets.
I walked along the street to the rich part of the city. Where all the nice houses are. Well, turns out I actually knew somebody who lived in the house I was currently standing in front of. I just stood there. Even though I have been here before, only to study with Ray. Therefore I knew whre his bedroom window was. I know it sounds a bit cliche, but I threw a pebble at it. It was on the top floor and hard to reach, but on my third attempt I saw his shadow behind the curtains. He must've seen it was me because he opened the window.
"Stephanie? Is that you?"
"Yeah."
"Wait there, I'll be right down."
He closed his window quietly and I saw him move away from it. And only a minute later, the front door of the house opened and Ray peered out. He gestured for me to follow him inside, so I did.
"Are you hurt?" he asked with concern deeply etched in his brow.
"No but, I needed some place to crash until morning. I didn't know where else to go, I hope you don't mind." I whispered so low that he had to come closer to hear me.
"C'mon."
He took my arm and led me up the stairs to where his bedroom was. I somewhat envied the framed photos of his family hanging on the wall when we passed them. They all looked so happy in the pictures. So happy, I thought they might burst out and hug me.
"This way," he whispered, leading me into his room.
"So, whats the matter?" He asked when he shut the door.
"It's just my mom. Shes passed out from drinking again. That-and I couldn't sleep." My eyes lingered to his bed longingly.
"Stay as long as you want."
"But what about your folks?" I asked.
"Forget them, they won't care." He almost assured me while rummaging through a closet. I looked around the room and saw posters everywhere. Literally everywhere. When I looked at his bed properly, I noticed that on the headboard was taped can tabs all around he border. I smiled.
"You can sleep there. I'll crash on the floor," he smiled while holding up a green sleeping bag.
I smiled, "Thank you."
"Steph, are you awake?"
"Hmm?" I yawned.
"Now I am."
"Good. Come look at the stars with me."
I rolled over to find him sitting by the window on a bean bag chair and looking out with wonder at the starlit sky. I crawled out from under the black sheets and joined him. We just sat there and gazed out at the stars until he spoke.
"Beautiful, aren't they?"
"Yes, they are very pretty." I muttered. There was a few moments of silence until he spoke again.
"Do you believe in wishing on stars?"
"Yes, actually. I do. It's silly-"
"No its not. I've been wishing on them for a while now. It's a bit habit forming actually."
I let out a small laugh.
"What do you wish for?" I asked.
"Can't tell you, can I?"
"Guess not."
More silence.
"Do you like chocolate?" He asked, still gazing out at the stars.
"Who doesn't?" I laughed.
He just shrugged his shoulders and I lay back on his red carpeted floor with my hands behind my head. He got up from the chair and crawled over to where I lay. There he was sitting, with his head in his hands looking at me. I closed my eyes and sighed.
"What am I going to do?"
"Nothing. I like it here. With you. It's just...nice."
I smiled. "I bet you say that to every girl you meet." I opened my eyes and looked to see his reaction to my comment. He just smiled.
"No I don't. I only say the things that I truly believe. And I never say anything I don't mean, especially if I'm saying it to a lady." He chuckled at the look I gave him. "I'm sure you do, Ray. Ah, damn. We got school in four hours." I muttered, noticing the digital clock on his bedside table. "Guess we'll have to get some sleep before it's time to catch the bus." He yawned.
"s**t. I don't even have my backpack or anything."
"You're beautiful when you scrunch your nose up like that, you know?"
"It's a curse, I swear. I've been told that since the day I was brought into this world, I've been doing that."
Silence. (Hey, there is a lot of silence here, isn't there?)
"You can copy my homework and use all my books. We have all the same classes, anyway. And you can shower in my bathroom and I'll lend you some clothes. I don't think at this point you want to go back to your house."
"Yeah. But what about-"
He shushed me and assured me that he would explain it to his parents when they woke before I dozed off beside him on the floor, thinking about what tomorrow would bring.
I woke up in his arms. I have no idea how I got there but, perhaps during our slumber we snuggled closer. I didn't mind, actually. I carefully slipped out from under his arm and got up to make my way to his bathroom.
I never thought a shower could feel so wonderful. I stood there under the stream of hot water for what seemed like hours to me. But when I got out, only ten minutes had passed. I dried myself off with a clean white towel that was resting on a shelf along with other towels. I slipped into the clothes I had worn the day before and brushed out my hair with a new looking brush. I laughed at the thought of Ray using a brush. I imagined his mother yelling at him to comb his mess of hair.
"Stephanie?" I heard a voice behind me and turned around to see Ray.
"Hi." I muttered, suddenly feeling nervous for some reason.
"Hey," he smiled. "I told the folks and my dad had a fit because I had a girl sleeping in my room. But ma was allright with it. She's making extra pancakes this morning."
I couldn't help but smile.
"There's some jeans and a shirt on the bed you can borrow. And since you were already occupying my shower, I took one downstairs."
"Sorry." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.
"And thank you for all your bothering. You didn't have to do all that."
"Don't be silly. I'd do anything for you." He waved himself out of the bathroom before I could reply. When I heard the bedroom door close, I wondered if he really would do anything for me. And maybe, there was really someone who cared.
"Steph? Steph? Stephanie?"
"Wha-?"
"We are at school, Stephanie."
"Oh."
I stood up behind Ray and filed out of the grafittied yellow school bus that brought us all to the David Reading High School.
"Today is Thursday so...we got English first thing." I said when we walked through the double doors of the school.
"Great. English."
"English isn't that bad, Ray." I told him as we made our way up the stairs to our lockers.
"It is when the teacher hates your guts." He mumbled.
Before I could answer him, my worst enemy Arianna Julls noticed me with Ray and with his clothes on, which would make it look like a whole different scenario in her eyes. I didn't really care about what she thought or what she told all her friends about me at the moment. I just hoped to get through this day without being ridiculed by someone or other. Ray obviously noticed the look of sadness on my face, for he offered to walk me to my locker which was on the opposite side of the hall from his.
"Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you, Ray. You're awesome, you know that?"
"Yeah, of course I know I'm awesome. I get so tired of hearing it sometimes." He said jokingly. I laughed sarcasticaly and said, "Sure." Just then, who gets in the way of getting to my locker? Why, none other than Ash Ferrerie, my cheating ex. He smiled at me seductively and licked his lips before winking and walking away to join his skateboarding buddies.
When I finally got everything out of my locker, I locked it back up and hurried back with Ray to his locker so we both wouldn't be late for homeroom.
We both got to homeroom right on time, thankfully. But I had a feeling that something traveled. Probably Arianas doing, I thought. Everyone was staring and passing notes when they saw me walk in and sit beside Ray. I scowled at them and buried my face in my art sketchbook. I felt silent stares bore through the book and quiet whispers all around me. I felt as if I was trapped and no matter what I did, I could never block out the ridiculing voices that were whispering all around me. It suddenly grew louder. And louder. And then so loud that the tip of my pencil broke in my frustration to keep the lines on the drawing pad at a curved angle. I was screaming inside. I wanted to run, to run away to the bathroom with the razor I kept hidden in my bra. I wanted to cry and be embraced by...someone. I felt the tears come to my eyes and I looked over at Ray who was watching me with concern deeply etched in his brow. He saw my eyes welling up with tears so he put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him and felt a small smile come across my pale lips. He smiled back and then suddenly I forgot the tears, forgot the lies, forgot the hatred for everyone around me. I forgot everything when I looked into his eyes that were so full of concern and..love? What is love anyway?
We went on with our daily classes as usual, and I managed to make it through the five classes before lunch without crying. I was so mad at myself for even crying because, it makes me look like a wimp when I do. And I HATE it when people stare at me with pity. I was in the lunch line getting pizza, even though I didn't have much of an appetite. When I was done paying the lethargic lunch lady, I went in search for a table to sit at. Finding a decent table that wasn't full these days was difficult. As I passed the 'Jock and cheerleader' table, Ash glared at me and immediatly put his arm around Arianna. Ha, like that would make me the least bit jealous...
Finally, I spotted Ray at the end table sitting with some of his friends. He saw me and waved, which I took as an invitation to sit down. "Hey." I mumbled upon sitting. "HI!" I flinched when someone shrieked. I looked up at a pair of wide eyes and a mop hair cut. "Hello..." I said to the boy sitting across from me.
"HI! I'M A CHICKEN!" I just stared and tried not to laugh at this incredibly funny kid. Ray saw the look on my face and quickly explained not to mind him, "he's just a little bit crazy"
A little bit? I thought. This will be interesting...
"HI!" The boy continued.
"HI!" I yelled, which I concluded made him satisfied because he turned away to talk to his other friends. I bit into my pizza and tried to make myself unnoticed. Boy, was that an unsuccesful gesture.
"Hey, Steph. These are my friends Gerard," he pointed to the chicken one, "Frank," he pointed to a really good looking boy with a mohawk sitting next to him, "and this is Gerards brother, Mikey." He pointed to a pimply cheeked boy with really cute glasses. He was cute in my opinion, anyway. "Hi." I smiled when they all said "Hi".
I ate my pizza in silence while listening to the conversations that were going on at the table. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the things they said. They actually managed to go from a conversation about mattress sales, to one about Smurfs. When lunch was finally over, our table was dismissed and I threw away my trash along with Ray and Gerard. "BYE!" Gerard yelled before hugging me and running off. Ray laughed.
"Don't worry, he's not always like this. He just ate a Tupperware container full of Kool aid powder before you showed up." I laughed. "I guess that would explain it, then."
"CHICKEN!!!"
I jumped about two feet in the air and dropped my book bag. Gerard was screaming and running toward me. Uh oh.
"Ah!" I screamed when he attempted to jump on my back. The attempt was poor, for I fell into my locker, Gerard sitting quite painfully on my back. I groaned and tried to get him off of me, but I was unsuccesful (big surprise there) and he still clung to me like a child would a long lost parent.
"Chiiiiiiickennn, Ray-ie has a widdle crwushie on youuuu, Chicken." He breathed in my ear.
"Get off me!" I yelled. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks when he finally got off my back. I rounded on him and was about to contradict his behavior, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Ray approaching. Suddenly, I felt a wave of self-conciousness and quickly wiped the look of anger off my face. Gerard noticed this and smiled knowingly. His eyes seemed to taunt me with, "you like him, you like him, you like him, you like him..."
"Hey guys," Ray smiled at us both. "Gerard, you still comin' over?"
"Only if Chicken is."
"Chicken?" he asked me.
"Apparently that's my new nickname." I smiled at Gerard and Ray put on a look of pure amusment.
"Yeah. Chicken," he supressed a giggle, "is staying for dinner. Right, Chicken?" He turned to me.
"Uh, yeah. Sure."
"YAY! CHICKENCHICKENCHICKENCHICKEN!!!!" Gerard ran in circles continuosly yelling 'chicken' until Ray pointed out that we all should get going. I sighed and walked with Ray while Gerard trailed behind, scribbling 'chicken' all over the walls with his pencil. This was going to be one helluva evening.
While Ray, Gerard and I were walking to his house, something horrible happened that would scar me for life.(to put it plain and simple) We were down the street from his house when a car beeped thier horn loudly. First Gerard turned, then Ray then me. What I saw made me catch my heart in my throat; it was my mother. She pulled up to us in her green beatup old Ford, glaring at me.
"So, you little b***h. You think you can just walk out on me like that? Where the hell were you?! You were supposed to ******** clean the house today. Rory is furious! How could you do this?!" She screamed drunkedly out the car window at me. I felt Ray and Gerard step closer to me, and I felt a sudden sense of security.
"Sorry," was all I could mumble.
"Well, I hope you weren't out whoring again," she glanced at Ray and Gerard. "I told you I didn't want you to have any friends! What if you spilled the horrors of your life? Huh? Then they'll only feel bad for you and then we'll get DSS on our asses again. Do you want that?" She yelled.
"No, mommy." I felt unshed tears blur my vision as I spoke.
"Don't EVER call me Mommy! I am not your mommy, hear? I will never be your mommy. You are the reason for all this misery!" She screamed, making passerby stop and stare. I just stared at her, eyes tearing now. I was shaking under Rays' arm, which was wrapped around my waist.
"But, Mommy-"
"Shut up! Just shut up! You little b***h of a daughter. I cannot wait till you are 18 and I can be rid of you..."
I cried fully now into Rays shoulder. "Who is he? Your boyfriend? Oh, Christ if you get yourself pregnant, I'll-"
"SHUT UP!" I screamed, letting go of Ray and stomping up to the car window. "I will never be the disgrace that you were. And I will not get pregnant. And even if I do, I will never treat my child the way you treat me!" I screamed in her face. For a few split seconds she looked at me, dumbstruck. Then her expression changed to one of anger and she made to grab my neck. I was pulled away by someone before she could grab me and when she drove off furiously, I spat at the ground in frustration. When I turned around, Ray was standing there with a look of horror on his face. Tears streamed down my cheeks and he came to me. I fell into his warm embrace and let the tears fall freely. He rocked me softly back and forth and a few times I felt his lips brush the top of my head.
"You allright, Chicken?" Gerard asked when I pulled away from Ray. I smiled and nodded. I quickly wiped my tear stained face with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. "C'mon. Lets go. Maybe my mom can help, shes good with this sort of thing." Ray said and took my hand in his own. Gerard smiled weakly and we made our way toward his beautiful home.
more coming bitches *geekface*
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