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 Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 6:43 pm
The sun was just sinking down to the horizon as the cool night breezes began to pick up their pace from their more languid daytime cousins. The grasses swayed like dancers, creating a song of their own as they played across one another. In the distance, a small stream tinkled sweetly over rocks in a shallow fissure in the earth. The world itself seemed to sing with the promise of night, and a full moon no less.
It was to this song that the wandering minstral listened.
Tembezishaha lay on a rather large, flat rock, warmed from the afternoon sun. His dark ears poked out of his fluff of a mane as briliant as the fire that sometimes swept the savanna, though his was a softer, gentler fire. The sky itself seemed to reflect in his blue eyes, eyes that beheld the knowledge of ages long past, stories from mother to daughter, daughter to son, son to daughter, and so on. Countless generations of story-tellers and keepers of histories. He knew them all. The ones of bravery, the ones of jealousy. Even the ones about love.
Oh, yes. Love. Like his father before him, Shaha was cursed to wander, never being happy in one place for too long. His father had found a lioness who would follow him to the end of their days.
Shaha, however, had all but given up on that. True, his new friend Matawi was good to her word and kept by him. They had agreed to go different ways for a day or two, promising to meet up at the watering hole half a days walk from where he lay when the sun sank on the third day. But she was only a friend. He had helped her cope with her past. There was no greater feelings between them, at least not from him.
With a heavy sigh, the large gray male lowered his head onto his paws, taking in the sounds as he watched the sunset. Alone.
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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 5:27 am
The cheetah was painfully thin and she had a wary, hunted look in her pale brown eyes. She had crept out of her den for the first time in several days and seemed afraid of everything, even her own shadow. So, as Kijivu stepped aimlessly through the field, her head hung down and her tail sat rigidly between her legs. A plump field mouse scurried in front of her and she eyed it but did not make any effort to try and catch it. Instead, she sighed, and slumped to the ground, resting her head on her paws.
Where are they now? she thought sadly of her two cubs. Are they happy? Healthy? Are they even... alive?
A strangled cry escaped from her throat and her body writhed with unseen pain. Finally her eyes closed and she laid still, the only signal of life being the faint rise and fall of her chest.
"What have I done?" she murmured for the thousandth time.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:52 pm
Shaha's head shot up when he heard the sound of another creature. A sound of one in pain.
He looked around, searching in the fading light for the other who had made that sound. He squinted his eyes when he saw the dark shape and he leaped off the rock, heading slowly towards the form.
When he was near enough, the wanderer found that the shape was from a very ill-looking cheetah. His blue eyes widened and his face fell in worry as he hurried towards her, against his better judgement. He knew he probably should have approached more slowly, but his concern overwhelmed any other thoughts in his mind.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:02 pm
The cheetah's ears twitched as she heard someone approaching and she flipped onto her other side, curling into a defensive ball. Part of her didn't even care what happened, but she was so used to her paranoia that it came naturally. She let out a feeble growl, though she did not peer up at him, and her body trembled lightly. Her cheetah instincts told her to run, but she did not have to strength to move faster than a trot.
The tip of her tail twitched and she buried her nose in her paws, as though it might make him disappear.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:06 pm
Shaha paused when he was just a few feet from her. She'd curled up and he blinked.
'She must be frightened...' he thought to himself and slowly crept towards her.
"I'm sorry if I startled you... You sounded... hurt. Is there anything I can do?" he asked softly, not meaning for his voice to sound so hoarse. It was gruff and deep, like his father's when there was something wrong. He gently reached out with one paw and touched her shoulder with a touch lighter than a butterfly's.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:12 pm
Kiji shivered slightly at his voice and cringed at his touch, but she did not speak for a long while, instead continuing to hide her face with her paws. She was in a vulnerable state and knew that he could hurt her right then and there... but when he didn't, she hesitantly uncovered her eyes, looking up at him desperately.
As she gazed into his blue eyes, she felt an odd feeling of minor relaxation, something she hadn't experienced in ages. What did she have to lose? She couldn't fathom how things could get worse.
"No," she murmured, her voice dry and raspy from lack of use. "No, I'm just... just..."
She broke off, looking away again. Her body was still tense and she looked cornered, though something in her eyes was simply a deep sadness.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:18 pm
Shaha's face softened even more as he sat down beside her. He couldn't imagine what she must have been through to give her such a frightened look in her eyes. He figured towering over her probably wasn't helping matters much, so he scooted away a bit and laid down, never taking his soft gaze off of hers. So much hurt, so much pain. He'd never seen that much in one soul before and yet here she was, looking so afraid. It hurt his heart to see such things with her eyes.
He hoped he could help her. With all his being, he hoped he could do something.
"I'm Shaha," he whispered softly, his chin on his paws.
"Will you tell me your name?"
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:28 pm
For a brief moment she hesitated, as thought telling him her name was equivalent to spilling all her secrets. He had told her his own name, though, and so she could not bring herself to be rude to someone who had honestly presented no threat. Her ears fell flat to her skull and she murmured, "Kijivu... Kiji."
Once again there was a distant look in her eyes as she looked down, silent. She sat this way for several moments, her mind wandering over it's usual subject. Finally, she said in her soft voice, "Do you have cubs?"
It was a totally random question to anyone except her, but she looked up at him with wide eyes, totally honest.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:36 pm
Shaha smiled a little when she told him her name, but his face fell when she asked him her question. His ears dropped and he looked up to the sky for a moment as he let out a slow sigh.
"No, no I don't," he replied and laughed a little.
"I don't think any female would be able to put up with me as a mate. And I... I don't believe in..." he trailed off, trying to find a way to explain his beliefs.
"I'll only have one mate for my entire life," he shrugged here, "I just haven't found her yet."
"You have children, don't you, Kiji?" he asked, saying her name so much softer than the previous words. He always had a lyrical lilt to his vioce when his emotions were running strong.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:59 pm
Kiji nodded slowly, understanding his beliefs. After all, that's how she felt - or how she had felt. She still clung desperately to the hope that someday she could find that perfect mate, but she felt like worthless, used goods.
"Yes," she whispered, her throat feeling raw. "But not with me. And not willingly." Kiji let out a shaky breath, closing her eyes. "They were...were forced upon me, I guess. And now they're gone."
A vivid memory of the night of their birth flashed through their mind and she began to shake again. "Go," she whined. "You don't want to be around someone like me."
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 5:08 pm
Shaha heard the pain in her voice and crawled just a little closer to her, trying to offer some comfort.
"Shhh, shhh. Don't say such things," he whispered, placing a paw lightly on hers. It was so much bigger and bulkier. Hers were small, meant for speed. His, large and made for the battles in the very back of his memory. Those were the dark parts of his soul, parts he feared more than anything.
"There's nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all," he tried to give her comfort, tried to help her through whatever she was going through. It looked like she had been this way for a long time. His troubles forgotten for the moment, he put all of his being into his soft words.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 5:26 pm
Something inside her, the part she had been hiding for so long, erupted at his words. "You don't understand," she wailed, tears spilling freely. "I'm a horrible mother. I failed my cubs. I left them, out in the cold night. They had just been born. What are the chances they survived? It's my fault, my own, selfish fault. They didn't do anything wrong! But... but I couldn't stand to look at them. They looked too much like the father. What right did I have? I should've sucked it up, because they were innocent little cubs who did nothing wrong. But I couldn't. I'm weak and I don't deserve the life I never gave them a chance at!"
All that had tormented her for so long spilled out and she collapsed against him, sobbing into his fur.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 5:46 pm
Shaha's eyes widened when she fell against him, but only for a moment. Then his face softened and he rested his head on top of hers, gently rubbing his cheek back and forth across the top of her head.
"Shhh, shhh. It's okay. I'm sure they survived and grew up fine," he whispered, softer than the breeze that swirled around them. His sighed lightly and closed his eyes as she cried.
"You've been holding this in for a while, haven't you, Kiji? It's okay. It's okay now," he said, his voice so soft, so tender. He didn't know why, but he felt his heart breaking with every one of her tears. That certainly had never happened before. Of course, he felt bad for others when they were hurt, but never this bad. But then, he'd never met a female this distraught and hurt.
The large lion closed his eyes against and continued to slowly move his head back and forth over hers, the sounds coming from his throat no longer words, but soft murmurs meant to soothe her pain away.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:14 pm
Kiji let out a deep sigh, her body relaxing at his words. "I hope," she murmured, not taking her face out of his fur. Logically, she knew it was very rude and that she had only just met him, but she couldn't bring herself to move away with she was finally feeling a little bit better.
"Yes, it's been a while," she murmured. "They must be adolescents by now. A boy and a girl... oh, Shaha," she said sadly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be doing this." She let out a weak laugh, adding, "I barely know you."
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:21 pm
Shaha smiled softly, not taking his chin off of hers.
"We all need a shoulder to cry on, even if it belongs to a stranger," he replied, knowing all to well the truth in his own words. He knew he needed the same thing, someone to tell of the problems that plagued his own thoughts, but no. Not now, not ever. He could never burden another with his worries. It was contradictory, he knew, but he just didn't want to see it clearly. It wasn't that he was too proud, oh no. He just didn't want others to have to worry about him when they had enough on their paws.
"I'm sure they've grown into two beautiful young cheetahs. Maybe not on the outside," he added quickly, just in case that might make her upset again, "But I'm sure they have such beautiful spirits. Like you."
He didn't know what made him add that. He didn't know her at all and yet he seemed to know just what she was like. If she had been cold, there would have been no remorse for what she had done to her cubs. She had been hurt, and the wound had never healed.
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