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 Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 4:23 am
Death
As I watch amoung the crowd as they stare at me so...
I wonder whats wrong with me, why they look at me so
They never say a word, just the deepressing blackness around me
Nothing happening its a if time has stopped
And then, in an instant, i feel it
The pain that has eaten away at me so.
My heat is broken and a hole is through it's remnants
Nothing is left for me in this world
I watch as the crowd moves away
And lights go dark all around me
My life's blood in the streets
Pouring in flows that never end
I feel like this will never seize
And i am made to suffer everyday from now on
When I look at tthe crowd one person stands out
The person who loved me
The person who broke
The person that killed me
And then...I was no More
i wrote thi a while ago and i wanted feedback on it. Tell me what you think...good or bad. My friends like itbut i dunno if they were just saying that or not.
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 6:02 pm
I believe your poem is fluent and the theme speaks i personally like it
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