Before She Cheats
Lyrics: Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood
Ian walked into the bar, downtrodden. The patrons all looked up at him. Bob ran to him, “What’s wrong, Ian?” Ian smiled weakly at the man, walked slowly to the closest barstool and sat down. “I just got back from the mansion where I was suppose to be with Sasha. You wouldn’t believe what I saw.” Bob sat down next to him and waited. Ian took a drink and gulped it down. “Instead she was there with Gino!” He took another drink.
Right now she’s probably slow dancing
With that bleach blonde tramp
And he’s probably getting frisky
Ian hated Gino for being with his girl. Bob nodded. “I thought it was nothing until I saw them going off to buy some drinks and how close they were to each other.” Ian gulped down two more drinks and mumbled, “Stupid kid probably isn’t even old enough for those drinks.”
Right now she’s probably buying him some fruity little drink
‘Cause he can’t shoot whiskey
Right now she’s probably behind him with a pool stick showing
Him how to shoot a combo
Bob nodded then patted Ian on the back as a devilish grin came across his face. “Come on Ian. Let’s go get some revenge on those two. I’m sure it will make you feel better.”
And she don’t know
Ian looked up at Bob and the other patrons who came up to help and smiled drunkly before jumping up. “Let’s go do it!” Everyone cheered and grabbed several items of destruction and left the bar. Ian and Bob led the way to the brightly lit mansion’s parking lot. “Her car should be around here somewhere.” Ian pointed out Sasha’s brand new truck that he had bought her as a present. Everyone grinned evilly as they descended onto the vehicle.
I dug my key into the side
Of her pretty little suped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into her leather seats
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time she’ll think before she cheats
A couple of the girls from the bar kept lookout and distracted anyone who came nearby as the others began the destruction on the truck. Sound from the mansion could be heard drifting out. A few members turned to each other as the karaoke started. “Sounds like Gino is plastered, either that or he can’t sing at all.” Ian softly growled, “Sasha probably figured if she got him drunk, she could get a taste of him while I’m away.”
Right now he’s probably up singing some white trash
version of Shania karaoke
Right now he’s probably saying I ’m drunk and
she’s thinking that she’s gonna get lucky
Right now she’s probably dabbing on three dollars worth
of that bathroom polo
And she don’t know
Ian started laughing as he took the shop’s key and ran it along all the sides of the truck, writing a few obscene messages in the paint job. “There it looks so nice now. Now what else can we do?” RinaLee grinned and using her cat claws, quickly unlocked the driver’s side door. Bob handed Ian his pocketknife and grinned. Ian smiled and dove into the truck and attacked the black leather seats carving his name into each one. Saichen and Sway were knocking out the headlights with their bats, laughing the entire time. Such sweet revenge for what the tramp did to their idol.
I dug my key into the side
Of her pretty little suped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into her leather seats
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time she’ll think before she cheats
Ian got out of the truck and slammed the door before scratching the door up with the knife. The girls took their bats and took out the windows, spraying glass inside. Bob stood on the sidelines and grins. “I bet this will teach her and help out the next guy she messes with.” He came up to Ian and put his hand on his shoulder. “Let’s get going before anyone catches up.” Ian nodded.
I mighta saved a little trouble for the next guy
‘Cause the next time that she cheats
You know it won’t be on me
The group started to sneak off into the shadows, only to stop as Ian ran back to slash all four tires. “Now let’s see those two leave the party.” He laughs manically as he runs back to the group.
Cuz I dug my key into the side
Of her pretty little suped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into her leather seats
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time she’ll think before she cheats
They start to slink back towards the bar only to stop at the sound of screaming. Ian stashes the knife in his pocket as they turn around to enjoy the sight of Sasha screaming as a drunk Gino tries to comfort her about the damage done. He smiled with a tear running down his cheek before turning around. “Let’s go back. We are done here.” He barely whispers, “and I’m done with you, Sasha.”
