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 Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:52 pm
Hi,
I am a high school graduate I will keep the name of the school privet for its sake.
I conducted a small socialogical experament with the people around me and I Just observed I had no role to play in it so I Didnt really conduct it but this is what I observed through my last year in High school
I notice when I first am surrounded amongst them that the ones that I say hi to every morning dont really look at me unless I take the step forward in saying hi other than that my regular friends converse with me and wave and say hi as well as I did but its with these sub friends. Aquantances I like to call them who gather with posers and other wanna be people just sit there and honestly just started bullshit {excuse the language} so that they would feel significant in the world.
with the people that I hang out with we have come to accept that there is no world that we have to be for, so we dont worry about what happens. we take it as it comes and deal tabs out properly. we dont have to be popular we dont have to take bullshit if its within the legal system. Which Ironicly enough that gave us our own statis or popularity in the school which by all means I didnt want but its not like you can fall off the face of the earth in a day. so I guess my entire hypothesis about the observation was :Why is there a need for popularity? Who cares if there is someone more popular than you. Have as many friends as you want, that is the first step into becoming ourselves and not someone that we wish to be.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:00 pm
I'm having trouble understanding your point, so let's see if I have this clear:
You find that people rarely take the time to be polite to you unless you take the initiative to be polite to them? Furthermore, you find that people will act in ways they normally wouldn't just for the sake of "popularity"? And when you rejected popularity, it gained you just that, even though you and your friends didn't want it?
From my observations, those who are "popular" in high school and in the real world (i.e. celebrities) are generally double-people in the eyes of the majority. On one hand, these people are everything we want to be, they have fame, money, anything they wish for. On the other hand, we hate these people for the same reason- we want to be them, but we aren't. When you and your friends acted on your dislike of popularity, you became popular simply because people wanted to be like you.
Well, I don't really understand the significance of your post. Maybe you're just pointing out that there isn't a point in being "popular" in high school or in the world outside of it. Most people realize this once they leave high school, so I doubt it's something you need to worry about. People either mature past that point, or they don't. If you have, then you should focus on getting to the next point instead of dwelling on the immaturity of others.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:46 pm
Popularity, or the support and approval of others seems to be a means of validation to ourselves.
Everyone needs a degree of validity in themselves, whether it comes from themselves or from others.
-Alezunde
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 10:13 pm
First, believe me when I tell you that you and your friends are not popular. That is not an insult, but I can guarantee you that if I took ten random people from your school, maybe one or two of them would know who you are at all. Perhaps more if you come from a very small town.
Second, I have never met anyone that lives for the sake of "popularity." They're out there... supposedly. We see them on television all the time... those people who are stuck up and snobbish, and completely stereotyped. However, I am firmly convinced that person is not real. I think that "popularity" is a myth perpetuated by the media... but that is mostly concerning the "cheerleader/jock" stereotype... and the "poser" stereotype. There is no such thing as "popularity". It is what you define it to be.
Thirdly, I don't think that your comment concerning "posers" is valid; they are just kids who are dealing with their world. To them, you are the person who is worried about "popularity." People are just people, and they act in certain ways. And I have to ask; what is your definition of a "poser"? Someone who is pretending to be something that they are not... but who or what are they pretending to be? You? I doubt it.
You say that you "take it as it comes and deal tabs out properly". You are being elitist, and should realize that the people you despise are just living their own lives. Please do not tell me that you do not wish to feel important in the world; they simply handle their lives differently than you.
You say that you do not subscribe to the image of popularity... and yet you believe in it wholeheartedly, even assigning labels to those that do not fit your views. No one fits into a category, and there is no need for popularity... at least, not as you define it.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 4:59 am
Well I have noticed how the tables have turned in my boarding house. I used to be the geek that always got my work done and hid away during break times, usually in the library. Now I'm the person with the most friends in my boarding house, maybe only 2 or 3 of them don't actually like me at most and that's including the antisocial ones that rarely leave their rooms to meet anyone at all.
Although I'm still considered a geek by a couple because I'm often on computers and the internet, I'm still liked or at least tolerated by them. They don't actively try to annoy me other then the usual comment they throw out at most poeple but they rarely try to communicate with me otherwise.
However, this boarding house is no ordinary place; all who live here are diagnosed with a mild learning difficulty called Asperges Syndrome but there is still a distinct range of different characters and personalities. The only thing that is common between us is the fact that none of us were ever the 'popular' kid, though some seem to be trying for that position constantly in the house.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 1:37 pm
Kalile Alako First, believe me when I tell you that you and your friends are not popular. That is not an insult, but I can guarantee you that if I took ten random people from your school, maybe one or two of them would know who you are at all. Perhaps more if you come from a very small town. Second, I have never met anyone that lives for the sake of "popularity." They're out there... supposedly. We see them on television all the time... those people who are stuck up and snobbish, and completely stereotyped. However, I am firmly convinced that person is not real. I think that "popularity" is a myth perpetuated by the media... but that is mostly concerning the "cheerleader/jock" stereotype... and the "poser" stereotype. There is no such thing as "popularity". It is what you define it to be. Thirdly, I don't think that your comment concerning "posers" is valid; they are just kids who are dealing with their world. To them, you are the person who is worried about "popularity." People are just people, and they act in certain ways. And I have to ask; what is your definition of a "poser"? Someone who is pretending to be something that they are not... but who or what are they pretending to be? You? I doubt it. You say that you "take it as it comes and deal tabs out properly". You are being elitist, and should realize that the people you despise are just living their own lives. Please do not tell me that you do not wish to feel important in the world; they simply handle their lives differently than you. You say that you do not subscribe to the image of popularity... and yet you believe in it wholeheartedly, even assigning labels to those that do not fit your views. No one fits into a category, and there is no need for popularity... at least, not as you define it. I think perhaps people who seek fame are simply seeking popularity. Would you agree that a famous actor is indeed more popular or more well-known than the common High School student?
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:31 pm
Alezunde I think perhaps people who seek fame are simply seeking popularity. Would you agree that a famous actor is indeed more popular or more well-known than the common High School student? I guess that would depend on your definition of popularity. If when you describe someone as popular, you mean well known, than I agree... however, if you mean well liked... that is perhaps a different story. If you mean that the person has many friends... again, not neccesarily. Celebrities are well known, and often well liked, but don't seem to have more friends than most people do.
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 8:55 pm
However, being well-liked doesn't necessarily correspond to the number of friends that you have.
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Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:20 pm
True. It is said you can't measure love. Can it be said the same for popularity?
In general, I would agree that the double standard we put on "popular people" covers whatever question was implied in this discussion.
To disprove the popularity = well-known theory - If the whole point of popularity is to be well-known- there is one surefire way: do something bad. There is a girl at my school who is a teenage mother. Everyone knows her for that. Yet she really isn't all that popular.
However, if being popular is being well-liked people who seek popularity probably won't get it because they are more focused on being well-liked that they come off as "posers" or "wannabees" or some other ludicrous label.
I do know some "popular" people, and suprisingly enough, they got that way just from being themselves- honest, nice (if not a little shallow) people. So that's probably how Dramora got popular.
Ummm...conclusion? People who search for popularity are too concerned with the goal to enjoy the reward. We should just stop worrying and be ourselves- then we'll be as popular as we need to be.
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