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Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends 

Reply Poetry and Lyricism
Ready to Fly

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Reese_Roper

PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:40 pm


Ready to Fly

Take a look in the mirror,
Tell me what do you see?
Do you see the same person
That I see looking at me?

Do you see the beauty,
The elegance and grace?
The girl with such poise,
And that smile on her face?

Do you see the speaker,
Who, when she tries
Can leave a crowd thinking,
Can bring tears to their eyes?

Do you see the friend,
The conquerer of trouble?
One who will lend a shoulder,
Who is there on the double.

Do you see the champion?
If you do, don't deny
That this is the moment
You are ready to fly.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 3:22 pm


I like it. As a girl with confidence issues, it says something.

Only thing I could possbily harp at would be the last line of the first stanza. It seems like it's lacking a syllable. Maybe add a "that" before "I see looking at me"?

Voxxx


Reese_Roper

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:24 pm


That sounds good. 3nodding *Puts in*
PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:21 am


It is a great poem and this reminds me of the poem i wrote about a mirror back at the old day-care i was going to up until 10 years ago, it also reminds me of some mental problems but thats besides the point.

grotesquekreeple

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Poetry and Lyricism

 
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