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 Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 3:41 pm
(I posted somewhere else but noone ever replied. I really hope that someone will this time.)
I had a bad childhood and now that I'm pregnant I worry about how i'll impact my child's future. I have absolutely the best of intentions for my baby but I sincerely believe that my mother did too even though she was a crazy witch. I know how to take care of children since I practically raised my younger brother and sister but I'm still worried because a lot of people have commented that I am a lot like my mother (how, i don't know) This isn't really a question but I would like some advice on how to deal with this
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 4:29 pm
I'm afraid I don't have much advice, but my significant other had the same problem, except it wasn't only her mother but it went back generations on both sides. Like you, she was nervous that although she already loved the child, she would hurt it, like her parents. As I said, I don't have much advice, all I can say is live day by day and do the best you can. No one is perfect, and if you love child, then things will be okay. Maybe the problem with your mother (Not to rude or assumptious) got a case of depression after you were born and was never treated for it. I don't know, but maybe and that is preventable with help. I don't know what else to say, but best of luck.
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:31 pm
I think it's quite possible that my mother was depressed. She lost a baby, her father died, and got divorced with my father all in the same year, when I was two years old.
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:30 am
I can see you don't want to carry on a vicious cycle that can be hard to get out of. My mother was a depression sufferer and tried to commit suicide when I was 13/14. I have suffered depression and still do, though not as badly as I did. What you need to do is look at what was wrong with your mother, what made your growing up bad and find out how people think you're like your mother, and tackle that head on.
The sooner you can break the cycle the better it will be, not just for your child but for you as well. I got help for my depression and I give myself an outlet to help myself. My way of dealing with the times it hits me is to write; journal entries, poetry, anything. Once I've gotten it out I feel a lot better and can get on with things, especially my daughter.
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Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 7:56 pm
i had a bad childhood i hated my adoptive father with great passion he hated me back to he didn't want me it was my moms idea i was very disturbed i trashed every car the man ever owned broke windows with a baseball tried to light the summer cabin on fire and rain away when i was only 14 to England to try to find my real parents who r in jail and in a coma but my daughter is turning out perfectly normally i love her very much same with my sons and i know my fiancee loves them both too so it doesn't matter how terrible your childhood was just take good care of your kid
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:50 pm
I think a lot of us have had rough childhoods (myself included), and I've been concerned over the same thing as you.
But when I really thought about it, I realized that my child would have a better life simply because I haven't--because when you go through a lot of s**t, you want to do everything in your power to make sure that your baby is brought up in the best situation that is in your power to create.
Not too erudite, I know--but it's a bit hard to explain. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:56 pm
I'm trying to figure out how to tell my mom I don't want her in the room when I'm having the baby. I don't mind her being in the waiting room but I don't want her in the room with me because she would just stress me out and aggrevate the hell out of me. So, how do I tell her this without coming off like a total b***h? She still to this day doesn't think she was abusive and thinks all her children like her like best friends. (All but my younger sister who's the baby, can hardly stand her) There's no point in trying to convince her otherwise but there's no reason she needs to be in there bugging me while I'm trying to push out a baby.
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:29 pm
I'm sorry about your childhood. I had a horrible childhood and my daughter is now five months old. I am determined to make hers a million times better. She will probably be badly spoiled. But sometimes I over work myself and I will not rest till her and my husband are happy. I want her to have such a perfect life its making me feel so old. It will all work out in the end I'm sure your nothing like your mother thats just somthing people say that they think is a completment.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:04 am
Well, don't exhausht yourself too much. I know you want to make your family happy but make sure you're happy as well. smile
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