Oh Livejournal. This isn't even angst, persay, but I guess it belongs here anyway.
So ever since I've gotten into West Wing I've really bonded closely with this group of girls, so closely that I currently consider them better friends than the ones I've got in real life right now. It's been so much fun talking with these people and throwing stupid little Internet parties with them and starting communities just for us to enjoy. I've especially grown close to one girl, and I accidently called her "my best friend" when someone asked me who I was talking to, that's how cool this chick is. That's how cool these people are.
Well, I think our happyness and geekiness is beginning to get contagious or make us "famous" or something. Certainly we're not BNF's but I think to some people... we are... and that's kinda creepin' me out a little bit. I mean, dude, we're just having fun. We're not asking for all this attention. And it's not even a lot of attention but it's certainly more than I've ever gotten in the past.
Suddenly I get more friend requests (which is moderately annoying; it's mostly from people who completely ignored the fact that I like to have conversations with people before friending them. Friending isn't something I look for, it's just something that's supposed to randomly happen by mutual agreement after a nice squealy conversation). And some of the ones I get now are really... like... I don't know, they make me cringe. I practically had this one girl begging to be let in. I got a little nauseous but I felt so bad and she was on one of my friends' F-lists (and I think she knows her IRL, too) so it was like, how could I say no?
And then like... I don't know. The girl who I currently consider my best friend, we've had some pretty sweet conversations. Sometimes I post them to the rest of the people on my geek filter because they find our s**t highly amusing. And since then, I don't know. It's almost like some people suddenly want to be us. D: There was one entry from one girl on my f-list the other day that just kinda... I don't know... blatantly ripped us off. It was like she was trying so hard to reach what we have, and, you know, failing. Eeeeeeyikes.
NOT ONLY THAT BUT SOME OF THE NEWER PEOPLE WHO PRACTICALLY BEGGED, THEY TALK TO ME LIKE THEY'RE AFRAID OF ME AND ARE LOOKING FOR MY APPROVAL FOR SOMETHING. WTF!? D: WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME!? WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU LOOKING TO HAVE ME SAY TO YOU?
gonk I just want everybody to be themselves, you know? I don't want to be imitated by people who think we're "ZOMG SO COOL". I don't want people begging to be let on my f-list, 'cause it makes me want to put them on less because it's so unflattering. I'm not as amazing as these people seem to think I am. ._.;
But then again, I guess that talk's sort of hypocritical, at least the "no imitation!" part because hey, I'm a fangirl, obviously I'm going to at least try to imitate the mentality of those I admire. I don't get into the whole "zomg I want my hair and clothes to be like them" stuff which is good but yeah. To fangirl I suppose you have to imitate a little. D;
Anyway. That was long and it felt good to type it out. I just didn't actually notice that we're sort of... I don't know... we've become sort of "famous" among a lot of people and realizing this kinda just creeps my s**t out a little bit. ._.;; Perhaps I'm just flattering myself but come on. I've never had people begging to come on my f-list before. I think that's... an indication of something.
