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 Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:12 pm
This is the Dreaming thread for Kemis. Do not enter if you are not invited. Welcome home, child.
The voice was like cool wind and soft rain, a tender whisper of longing, as the god touched the mind of his wandering child. There came the sensation of a smooth, cool hand touching Kemis' cheek.
Open your eyes, my twice-cursed son -- and look at the father who has missed you...
The air was cool, and even the ground underfoot had a surreal quality, as if it wasn't quite there, but only the seeming of ground, shaky and unstable, but one must be standing on something... yes?
Icelus, barefoot in the grass, draped in vivid silk, stood with his quiet, fathomless blue eyes focused on Kemis and a small smile on his lips, fingers lightly touching the oneroi's cheek.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:19 pm
Kemis stood for a moment with a rather curious expression of confusion and awe. His first instinct was to recoil from the frighteningly low temperature of the hand on his cheek, but he allowed it to stay. He felt cold enough, his cheek made no difference. Nothing seemed real anymore, even if he knew this was a dream.
He had seen this man once before and the end result of his visit was not pleasant in the least.
"What do you want this time?"
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:25 pm
... walk with me for a time, child. Icelus' fingers dropped from Kemis' face, and the god turned, lifting the hem of his robes, moving forward. The ground that was not quite real seemed even less so when compared to how very intensely -real- the deity was, as if the world bent around him, as if his tall, slender form somehow made the rest of the dreamscape seem flat. I would like to speak with you of the present, before the past.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:29 pm
Kemis was a little preoccupied with his unusual surroundings. Oh well, it was better than the temple... He hadn't liked that dream much at all.
He cast his eyes down, mentally running through his life to see what there would be to talk about. And sadly, he could come up with a lot of discussion material, if in fact he was going to lecture him as Kemis assumed. This was going to be a stupid dream. A stupid and weird dream. He hoped he woke up soon. Stupid and weird were fine for someone used to nightmares, but long was not something he wanted from the dream either.
However, he followed, determined to get this thing over with.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:44 pm
Icelus walked on quietly, his feet light and silent on the thick grass, as they headed toward what looked like a city, which was quiet in the night, a sky full of stars shining and twinkling overhead. He knew Kemis followed, and his long, shiningly white tail curled and twitched behind him as he walked.
This I pose to you first, Kemis... are you happy?
The god looked over his shoulder at Kemis, those strange pupilless blue eyes gleaming.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:49 pm
Kemis stopped in his tracks. No one had ever asked him this before. He instantly thought perhaps. He did have a good life. He had an overly loving mother who accepted him no matter what he did. Even attack her. What kind of woman would be that forgiving? Would be that confident in her son's good heart that she would not even register that her child was doing something wrong until the end result was physical pain to her person.
He lived in a nice place with lots of people who cared for him. No matter how mean he was, no matter how much he ignored it, he knew they loved him. Lewis, Wren, Deshi, even Takuto showed it. And Kimi, who stood up for his mother and stopped him from doing something horrible. And he had been so mean to Iria.
But ever since he was a small child something had been eating away at him. Something made him constantly miserable no matter what went right for him. It made him angry. It made him cold and distant. It made him hurt his mother.
It made him unhappy.
"No."
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:57 pm
Icelus' steps stopped as well, and the deity turned fully to face the young man, looking at him with a face that seemed incapable of emotion, but he could feel the emotion radiating from Kemis' body.
You are an exceptional child, Icelus said softly, looking up at the brightly spangled sky. But then, I knew that you would be. What oddness is this -- the struggle of one body to contain and embody all of the dichotomies of the world, and he cannot ever be truly happy. I do understand.
He paused for a moment, looking down over the grassy ground, now, leisurely surveying it.
Then I pose this to you, Kemis: what is most precious to you? What one person or thing or creature do you love most in the world?
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:06 pm
Love was a strong word. Atleast, HE had certainly never used it. Love was what Lewis and Wren had. Love was what he thought he felt for Iria, he later found that out to be a fetish for the chaos that happened to follow her. Love was...
What WAS love? Everyone had trouble defining it. It was like trying to define life itself. His mother had proven that to be a difficult task. He'd heard stories.
His mother?
Maybe.
Love... Hmm....
Why was he working so hard to answer this man's questions? He obviously hated whoever he was. Oneroi God or whatever. He never really cared. Knowledge didn't give him gratification. Nothing ever did.
But....
No...
The only times he ever felt remotely warm... was around Deshi, his mother. Everytime she did something stupid and he had to correct her... and vice versa... They had a certain unspoken bond that Kemis, for years, had tried to supress in favor of satisfying his own selfish needs and wants.
And he has never even come close to it.
So was that love? This bond? This feeling he had for his mother? For his friends? For his family? Could that be his own personal definition of love?
He asked as if it were a right or wrong answer, like he would automatically fail if he said the wrong person. Maybe it wasn't Deshi. Ah! This was far too confusing! When would this dream end?
"I'm not sure... But... Deshi... She's always there... That to me is the closest thing to love I have."
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:14 pm
Someone who stands by you no matter who you are... no matter what you do... whose arms and eyes and heart are open to you...
Icelus nodded, barely perceptibly, his long white hair stirred by the night wind. In youth, most do not understand that love is not something frivolous. It is not what you feel when you look at someone beautiful... it begins with patience and kindness... and work. Tell me, Kemis...
A smile curved the deity's dark face, and he spread his large hands, arms widening.
Your mother is the thing you love most, in your own way. Then... what is it that you hate the most passionately?
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:23 pm
Again, Kemis was stumped.
"What's with all the stupid questions?! Can't you ask something normal?!" He snapped, fuming.
How could he not know these things? They seemed like such easy questions. Who do you love, what do you hate? ARE. YOU. HAPPY.?
What was this guy getting at? What did this all have to do with this stupid dream? Was this supposed to MEAN something to him? Was he supposed to wake up a changed man?
Nothing made sense! Nothing ever made sense! WHY DID NOTHING MAKE ANY ******** SENSE!?
"I hate..." He paused, the words fighting to get out, "Everything! I hate nightmares! I hate being miserable all the time! I hate being accused of things just because I am chaos! I hate not knowing the difference between things that are common sense to everything else! Right and Wrong! Love and Hate! It's just a big mess! And most of all, I hate you and your God damn questions! You're pissing me off! Make a POINT already!"
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:44 pm
Icelus didn't skip a beat, his lashes didn't flicker for a moment --
But the landscape did. The cool, crisp winter night twisted -- flames licked the sky and screams echoed from the town before them as chaos rent the night.
My point is, my son...
The night faded back into the cool, restful, relaxing night it had been before, as if it had never been, and Icelus looked out over it, smiling almost tenderly at the sleepy city.
I need to know if you even want to be here, Kemis. I can let you go -- I can release you back into the world as you are, conflicts and confusion and pain and nightmares and duality -- or you can stay here with me and together, we will make amends for the sins your soul has committed. Should you stay, it will not be an easy journey... Sadness flickered on the deity's handsome face, as he looked at Kemis quietly. But I shall give you peace, as the fruits of your labor. Make your choice, my child.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:55 pm
Kemis had never had such an easy question brought before him and it startled him at first that this man would be the one to present it. He had been diving so far into his soul with all these pressing questions that it made this one feel like a trick.
However, the boy desired nothing more than peace. He didn't want to see horrible images. He didn't even dare repeat who they were images of. He didn't want to fear sleep for the coming of more horrible nightmares. Being miserable... it was horrible... and to feel that way your whole life... That sinking feeling that he had no choice but to be bad simply because he was chaos...
He would do anything to make those feelings disappear. To feel like everyone else. Happy... Or even for Lewis and Deshi's cause, blissfully ignorant of the evils inside of people. How he wished he could just wash it all away. These sins that he swears he never committed were coming back to bit him in the a**. He thought things, attempted things, did things that when he was in his right mind would surely regret.
But they felt good... so good... The only relief he had ever found in his life...
And he hated that it had come from something like that. Giving into his urges, his wants, his wicked thoughts.
He planted his feet firmly on the ground, straightened up, and looked Icelus in the eye.
"If it is possible for me to find some ounce of relief from this constant pounding in my head... Please... I'll do anything."
Begging was not something he was used to and he felt somewhat awkward admitting that he needed help.
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Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 1:27 pm
A small smile curved the deity's mouth, and those fathomless blue eyes gazed deep into the troubled violet ones, and Icelus slowly lifted a hand, reaching out for Kemis'.
To relieve the pain of the present, we must find the cause in the past. Come with me, my lonely son. We shall see if we can root out that bad seed, and make amends for it.
The other hand gestured toward the town -- the peaceful night flickered again, heat on the wind instead of cold. The snow at their feet seemed much more like ash now, swirling around their ankles in a heated gust.
Do not be afraid, child. I will be with you.
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Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 1:39 pm
Kemis' constantly cool attitude melted away with the snow and he visably trembled with wide eyes as the scene changed. He had seen this place in his constant nightmares and each one had left his heart feeling blacker and darker than the night before.
He didn't take the God's hand but he walked onward, swallowing hard and trying his best to stop shaking and appear somewhat aloof to the man accompanying him. He had just begged someone for help. That wasn't like him... and yet he was trying to be someone different... maybe showing some bit of vulnerability would help?
This is all so odd to him, so new. He wasn't sure how to act anymore.
He sighed and turned to Icelus, a deep breath in his lungs and a fearless look in his cold indigo eyes.
"Let's go."
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Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 1:49 pm
Icelus nodded, and began to walk toward the city. The atmosphere grew darker, thicker, as the night deepened around them -- the trees along the path were drifted with thick white ash like snow, and the green of their foliage was vivid, nourished by the ash. It was as if destruction had only glorified the natural here.
As they moved into the city, flickering flames glowed from within the hollowed-out shells of blackened houses -- they seemed like long-dead lanterns, preserved by little more than memory. Ash blew thick in the air, drifting like sinister snow, and the air was acrid with the scent of fire and blood and char.
Do you recall this place, child? It was not always like this.
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