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 Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 2:22 pm
I just found out that a good friend of mine was murdered Monday and right now, more than ever, I need my violin to escape from this nightmare but unfortioanly, I'm out of town and I don't have access to any instrument. I need to get my mind off the topic or the pain of loss will keep surging through me.
Has anyone ever relied on their music ability to help them through painful/rough times? Ever feel like the only thing to make you feel better is your instrument? I'm curious if I'm not the only one who does this.
Edit 6/27: I arrived at my house last night but instead of playing I was thinking about things but once I picked up my violin, I didn't feel that pain or hatred that I felt yesterday. My music is my life.
While I'm on the topic of music and some other things, Does anyone you know discourage you because music is your life?
Oh, and because I love you all much like kin (everyone in guild) , Raven. :3
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 3:44 pm
I am very sorry for your loss. That must be very rough.
I know plenty of people who turn to their instrument when they are angry, or sad, or when some crisis hits. I don't do that because of how I feel when I see my violin. My parents force me to practice. This is rather stupid of them because it makes it an experience with no joy. The only reason I continue with violin is because I love it, and I love the thrill that I get when I am performing in front of people. When I am angry or upset about something that happened, my parents never understand and so I always end up being angry at them and when I look at my violin when I am upset I think of them. When my mom left I couldn't touch my violin because it was her promting that got me as far as I have gone. I don't like the idea of practicing for my parents. I want to do this or me and for the music, not for two people who in a drunken frenzy involving a faulty condom accidentally got themselves stuck with me.
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 4:23 pm
It is, but as long as I remember, I'll be fine.
That must be rough that you're parents force you to practice, mine don't care. They rather that i don't play and give up on music and go into a life that has a greater life chance of making a living out of. But I"m glad I'm not the only one who does it. I was told that if you have to use something that helps control your pain, you are weak and from that, I felt alone that I was the only one who used my music like that. But I"m sorry to hear about your parents, that has to be rough.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 12:21 am
I'm really sorry as well, Milady Raven... that's horrible, and I hope your violin helps you.
I know people who can't practice for fun, because their parents force them to practice, like TarienQuest said. My mother says she doesn't care, and she doesn't force me, but she always tells me what I'm doing wrong, though she's never even touched a violin, not even mine. She also tells me when I'm not working hard enough at my lesson, which is usually right after I'm really proud of myself for sightreading well, or learning something quickly or whatever. stressed I still use my violin for solace, though, because I've wanted to do this my whole life, and music makes me happy. It's so wonderful to stand outside (I only do that when I know a song really well, or else the neighbors get mad... sweatdrop ) and play a light, airy concerto that I know well. Makes me feel better, even if just for a little while.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:40 pm
omg... Milady Raven that's horrible... gonk i'm so very sorry crying ... well, yesh, maya (that's me 3nodding ) does rely on her music like 24/7 ... all music, any kind of music. i always have a song going in my head whee that's usually why you'll see me jumping around having some fun... 3nodding sweatdrop ... teh heh. i remember when i was practicing Thais i thought of people that made me happy and made me feel loved, and i imagined us all together just having fun... and when i finished the piece, i realized that it was played almost perfectly, and very musically. so i try to think of things that can make the mood of the piece. 3nodding and the imagination does the rest, and before you know it, you're onto the next piece heart
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 2:43 pm
My parents care very much because they are both music people. My father plays guitar and sings, and my mother used to sing before she had a stroke that killed her voice. Quite frankly I'd rather have parents that care than those that don't because I've gotten so far only because my mom has pushed me to it.
I do other things when I am upset. Usually I will either listen to music (usually classical or new age) or I will paint. When people say that relying on other things to draw you out of a negative emotion is just a crutch and that it means you are a weak person I get very angry. The people who say that are the weak people. They just don't understand their emotions and are so weak that they pretend to be tough so that no one will think that they're in pain. They think that if they ignore their pain or say that it's not there it will go away.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:24 pm
Maya- I know what you mean. I tend to get so lost in my music that I don't realize that I'm playing it. But anyways, it's alright now for me, and Music is a healer in my opinion. :3
TarienQuest- That's awesome your parents care and that they want you to play. Mine don't, they want me to quit but now, it's more than a liking, it's part of me. But it's awesome your parents are musical. Truely. :3
I only play it or listen to it and I highly doubt many people like the music I listen to. I'm a walking paradox really but it makes me feel that i"m not alone the more people that come in here and say they do the same thing. And, you are right. I"ll keep that in mind. :3
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Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 4:35 pm
TarienQuest When people say that relying on other things to draw you out of a negative emotion is just a crutch and that it means you are a weak person I get very angry. The people who say that are the weak people. They just don't understand their emotions and are so weak that they pretend to be tough so that no one will think that they're in pain. They think that if they ignore their pain or say that it's not there it will go away. I am so so sorry...those people are not your friends. Sorry to them, but sometimes it feels good to grieve. I couldn't believe what people said to me when my brother died...(ex. "I hope you're over this by now") But music is definately good for you when you're in pain. If you want to feel better (you never know, some people just don't want to feel better), play sad music and cry your heart out. After a good cry sometimes it feels like you can't cry anymore, and there's a little load off your chest. heart
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Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 4:54 pm
sexmakesbabies TarienQuest When people say that relying on other things to draw you out of a negative emotion is just a crutch and that it means you are a weak person I get very angry. The people who say that are the weak people. They just don't understand their emotions and are so weak that they pretend to be tough so that no one will think that they're in pain. They think that if they ignore their pain or say that it's not there it will go away. I am so so sorry...those people are not your friends. Sorry to them, but sometimes it feels good to grieve. I couldn't believe what people said to me when my brother died...(ex. "I hope you're over this by now") But music is definately good for you when you're in pain. If you want to feel better (you never know, some people just don't want to feel better), play sad music and cry your heart out. After a good cry sometimes it feels like you can't cry anymore, and there's a little load off your chest. heart I have to agree with everything you said. All of it. And those are the reasons it doesn't hurt anymore. Just the realization is that she's in a better place. Music is a lifesaver in my opinion.
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 8:34 am
yesh when my first goldfish died i was sad crying and i used my violin as an escape
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:34 pm
Milady Raven Maya- I know what you mean. I tend to get so lost in my music that I don't realize that I'm playing it. But anyways, it's alright now for me, and Music is a healer in my opinion. :3 TarienQuest- That's awesome your parents care and that they want you to play. Mine don't, they want me to quit but now, it's more than a liking, it's part of me. But it's awesome your parents are musical. Truely. :3 I only play it or listen to it and I highly doubt many people like the music I listen to. I'm a walking paradox really but it makes me feel that i"m not alone the more people that come in here and say they do the same thing. And, you are right. I"ll keep that in mind. :3 Heh. Sometimes I start thinking about something else and sort of play on autopilot... that's not really a good thing though, especially when sight reading. Or else I'll wander around the room... until I started sitting down to play, I swear I clocked miles walking absently around the living room while playing a piece that I was trying to memorize. My parents didn't care for the longest time... I asked to be put in violin when I was about 4. I started violin just before I turned 11, when I started middle school. However, because of this music festival that I'm doing, my mom has realized all of a sudden that I'm serious, and now she wants me to practice 24/7, and asks me constantly about my "schedule" for practicing, and what sort of direction I have. It's kind of annoying, as she does not play a musical instrument. Neither does she read music, sing or do anything musical beyond listening and enjoying. Which is good, but she doesn't seem to understand that I know what I'm doing better than she does. evil
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 7:13 pm
Kalile Alako Milady Raven Maya- I know what you mean. I tend to get so lost in my music that I don't realize that I'm playing it. But anyways, it's alright now for me, and Music is a healer in my opinion. :3 TarienQuest- That's awesome your parents care and that they want you to play. Mine don't, they want me to quit but now, it's more than a liking, it's part of me. But it's awesome your parents are musical. Truely. :3 I only play it or listen to it and I highly doubt many people like the music I listen to. I'm a walking paradox really but it makes me feel that i"m not alone the more people that come in here and say they do the same thing. And, you are right. I"ll keep that in mind. :3 Heh. Sometimes I start thinking about something else and sort of play on autopilot... that's not really a good thing though, especially when sight reading. Or else I'll wander around the room... until I started sitting down to play, I swear I clocked miles walking absently around the living room while playing a piece that I was trying to memorize. My parents didn't care for the longest time... I asked to be put in violin when I was about 4. I started violin just before I turned 11, when I started middle school. However, because of this music festival that I'm doing, my mom has realized all of a sudden that I'm serious, and now she wants me to practice 24/7, and asks me constantly about my "schedule" for practicing, and what sort of direction I have. It's kind of annoying, as she does not play a musical instrument. Neither does she read music, sing or do anything musical beyond listening and enjoying. Which is good, but she doesn't seem to understand that I know what I'm doing better than she does. evil I do the 'autopilot' because I tend to think of other things and then not realize I"m playing. My mind does to much thinking from time to time. But the thing is, the realized you were seroius. Mine think I'm going to drop it and give it up. Thing the don't realize is that I'm not good at anything else. Oh, yeah, sure, I'm great with algebra, but I don't enjoy it. My parents want me to stop because I'm traveling a hopeless path they say. But they couldn't care if I practice or not. It's quite annoying. I rather mine ask my constantly to know that they actually care and support me on it.
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Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 6:18 pm
The summer before fifth grade, I started violin. I had a wonderful teacher that taught me so much. Then, the summer before seventh grade, my violin teacher died ten days before her 29 birthday. It was so sad. crying I feel that the violin is the only part of her left that I have. It is filled with so many memories. There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't think about her.
I hope that your violin comforts you when you play it or if you just hold it. Hopefully, the good memories that you have of your friend and your violin will make you feel better.
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 7:51 pm
I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. That's terrible.
As for the music thing, I was the same way when a friend of mine died. Music was one of the best ways I had of expressing and dealing with my emotions. I even wrote a song about it (complete with lyrics, which is rare for me).
*gives you a hug* I hope that music helps you as much as it helped me. Just remember not to be too hard on yourself if you mess up a little more than usual.
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