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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:17 am
I remember when 15 year old girls who had sex more than they went to sleepovers were called sluts.
Now I'm all for sexual liberation, and I think grown women should be able to have sex whenever they want without being labeled for it. But I don't think anyone that young should be engaged in such rampant sexual activity without even some social consequences.
I've seen topics on this site where people talk about wanting to stay a virgin, and they're mocked, with replies like "you're just too fat to get any" or "you must be ugly as hell." Like somehow, unless you're a hideous monster or overweight you should have been having sex since you left the womb. (And quite frankly as a woman with an actual figure, I am offended by the idea that unless you're a stick you can't find someone who would want to sleep with you.)
Maybe its always been like this. I wasn't a risk taker when I was a teen, so I might have just missed the whole "sex in the woods" thing. It just upsets me.
I try to be one of the few saying it's ok and there's nothing wrong with it. But for crying out loud, I can see why they're all so screwed up.
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:52 am
My FianceƩ is 20 years old, a Mature Woman, and proudly still a Virgin. My Brother makes teh occassional joke in regards to it, though he has stated that he's proud of us for the mature decision to abstain.
And it's sad that modern society looks at virgins that way, it's not that a woman cannot "Get any" that is the reason they abstain, it's just that they wish to save that one special thing for their one special person. Getting it off at every oportunity is hardly proper subject for braggin rights xp
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 4:45 pm
wow... Quote: (And quite frankly as a woman with an actual figure, I am offended by the idea that unless you're a stick you can't find someone who would want to sleep with you.) I agree with ya there Seldesla, because I am the same way. But then again I have two friends, I love them to death, I've known once since grade school the other since my sophmore year of highschool. One is married the other isn't...both are still virgins. And both for different reasons. One, just doesn't date at all. And that's fine. The other really I have no idea why. She has been married since last June. But at least her husband is understanding, mostly because he too is still a virgin. Both of them I am very proud of for abstaining like they have. I personally didnt' lose my virginity till I was 20. So really just shy of 4 years ago. And that in on it's self is a rare thing. SO yeah I dont' seen any thing wrong with still being a virgin while in your twenty's or older. But I do have a problem with kids stating that they want to be parents when they are only like 12 or 13 years old...that just scares me
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:54 pm
*cough*
This makes me so sad, and it's something I have first hand experience with. I'm uh.. one of that rare club, and I'm 27. I've been mocked both by strangers and boys I've dated. sad I've pretty much given up on men. stare
I feel sad that young women today are so willing to have sex with the first boy that comes knocking. (Or young men for that matter... I think it goes both ways...) sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:47 pm
That's a shame. It seems with women that you're darned if you do darned if you don't these days. You can't win. I made a very bad choice, like Aura when I was about 20, I regret it but you can't turn back the hands of time. However, due to that slip up I've been labeled as sinful and a slut and whatever...
I made a mistake, I can't undo it and I certainly am not going to lie about it. Though ironically I would take a lot less abuse from some people if I did lie about it. So much for repentance.
Half my female friends are virgins, the other half aren't. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Sex is a dangerous thing, regardless of your creed. Let's face it, there's the issue of unplanned pregnancy, and then even worse STDs. At least in the case of pregnancy you might have a child you can love even if parenthood may be a rocky transition for you. There are cases where an unplanned pregnancy occurs but the parent grows to really love the kid. I have yet to hear of a case of someone being glad they caught AIDS down the road.
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Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:49 pm
It happens on both sides. One of my ex-girlfriends in high school broke up with me since I wasn't willing to have sex yet. She spread some nasty rumors about me (ranging from inability to sexual preference). Unfortunately, when I found one who wanted to wait, I turned 18, and after 8 months of serious dating, we both lost it. I thought it would be alright. That was my ex-fiance'. Four years (and coincidentally partners) later, I'm with my love, and now fiance'. I feel dirty next to her being that she was until recently. She wanted to wait, and I completely respected that. 20 years old with a gorgeos body, its a wonder how she made it. We were together a year and a half and engaged for a few months at least. My last night of leave, it just kind of happened when she initiated it. The last time she tried I stopped it for her (one of the hardest things I've ever done). Shes happy, so I guess its alright. Guess I'm just babbling. There's nothing wrong with waiting though.
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Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 11:04 pm
My daughter just went through an experience that is similar to this discussion. She had her first boyfriend this year, I didn't allow her to date until she turned 16. Well, the lad was full of experience and my daughter had none. She made it clear on their first date that she had never had a boyfriend nor was she willing to have sex or participate in any sexual activity that she was not comfortable with. Well, the lad started pressuring my daughter and she broke up with him. Next day at school she was being called a tease and ball buster. The whole experience has been devastating. Now, she is wondering if all boys think that sex is a normal thing to do and it is expected in order to have a boyfriend or date. Kids now days are too jaded in this area and I think a lot of it has to do with how TV, Magazines, and Movies provided way too much information and exposure allowing children to think that sex is just a normal part of everyday living like brushing your teeth. twisted
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 7:16 pm
On the one hand . . . I think it's much wiser to provide [pre-]teens sexual education than to preach abstinence to them. I also feel it's much better that a girl feels comfortable enough to express her sexuality, rather than view it as taboo -- or worse, unladylike.
On the other hand . . . Give these kids an inch of liberty and they'll take a whole mile! rolleyes
As for virgins versus sluts . . . People really need to understand that it's someone's own business whether they're ready to have sex or not. I respect people who value themselves and their virginity enough to restrain urges; I respect when people don't succumb to peer pressure and acknowledge that they aren't ready. I do, however, also respect people who are honest about their desires and handle them maturely.
There's nothing wrong with waiting, true, and there's nothing wrong with being ready, either.
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