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 Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:45 pm
Hey. Not doing the Djinn Quest anymore.
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 8:03 am
Okay, I'm taking a shot at this, really trying to be helpful, because I love the Djinn concept. If I'd've known it was open when I started questing, I would've snapped this one up! As it is, I really want to help you out here, so please don't take this too harshly.
You're going to hear this a lot here, just so you know and don't take it too harshly.
Elaborate. Tell us more. Is that all there is to your character?
I understand that there is only so much you can say about a hair color. But how long is his hair? You say it's in a ponytail, how long is the ponytail? How is his body shaped? You say he's muscular. Mr. Universe muscular, or just well-toned, a healthy male? You should probably decide on a height. That is more than a foot of "varying" height difference. And why is his height varied? Did you just not decide how tall you want him to be yet? If that is what his height is, you might want to explain WHY his height is so extremely different.
You most definately want to elaborate on that personality. As it stands, it seems contradictory to me, and you don't get a concrete idea of who he is. "He likes to look nice, but not like a girl. Narcissistic but doesn't stare in a mirror 24/7." Okay, so what does that mean? Does he wear cologne, or something more flowery? Does he wear frilled shirts with lace collars, or just the latest rage from Abercrombie? And is there a better way to describe his self-absorption other than just that one sentence? Perhaps "He likes himself greatly, but isn't overly obsessed." and then go on to describe his OTHER interests.
DOES he have other interests than himself? Perhaps he likes movies, or going out dancing, or a well-written book? And what does he do that makes him a jerk? Is he rude to women? Rude to everyone in general? There's varying levels of jerk in my mind. I want to know exactly what kind of jerk he is!
For your powers, those are the most complete so far. Can't really find a fault with the wishes part, but you might want to limit him a bit more. That could become rather dangerous, in the wrong hands. Perhaps give him the ability to turn down wishes he doesn't want to grant?
I like the history for Numair's life. Though, I'm curious. Did the Sultan wish that Numair would be obliterated? How, exactly, did he die? This is essential to a Fa'e, as their death comes back in their next life as a part of their personal growth.
Also, why was he reborn? Why did he pick THAT guardian to attatch himself too? A large part of a Fa'e is a will to be reborn. Is his spirit out to take latent revenge on the Sultan who killed him? Why did his spirit linger around before rebirth, and why did he want to be reborn, is the question you should answer in your history section.
For you guardian, please elaborate, just like for your Fa'e's characteristics. A lot of people underestimate the importance of a Guardian, and you want one that is appropriate to the Fa'e they are raising. Probably NOT as important as the Lost Child guardians, but still fairly signifigant. And what is HER history? How did she end up with this little child? Did something in her past shape the personality she has now? Is she rich, poor, fat, skinny, etc. I know I'm repeating myself, but I can't stress enough how important it is to have every little detail there.
^o^
I really hope this helped you, I tried my best to really get good info for you. I wish you the best of luck with you concept, and I really look foward to seeing what you do with this.
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:36 pm
:gives her a big hug: That is exactly what I wanted. Someone to tell me what more I needed. I have to finish up his history and explain things better. I knew that but I wanted to see what others thought. My friends don't know diddly about Fa'e so I wanted another questor to come in and do just what you did. Thank you.
:wanders over to start editting things:
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 8:19 pm
Will put more later n.n but just a hint: pyromancy is divination through fire, not actual control of fire. You're looking for pyrokinesis
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 8:25 pm
Kyrianna Will put more later n.n but just a hint: pyromancy is divination through fire, not actual control of fire. You're looking for pyrokinesis Whoops! sweatdrop Thanks for the hint! heart
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:00 pm
Did some major adjustments. Still working out the details of the death. I want to make it intresting and plausible.
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:41 am
Two Questions!
One: I read somewhere that culture is imporant for a Fa'e but as a Djinn I wouldn't think that Numair would know very much about the culture. He wasn't always out and about. He came out, granted wishes and went back into his lamp. So my question is: How would I make culture apart of Numair's life if he never learned Arabic culture in the first place?
Two: I also read somewhere that Fa'e would need to learn English but again, as a Djinn, he'd have to know many langauges so that he could talk to anyone who happened to rub the lamp. He can't grant wishes if he can't understand his "Master". So my question is: Is already having knowledge of many langagues bad? Or Is it possible to limit this?
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Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 3:15 pm
Questions answered, Moving forward now!
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:15 pm
Having a complete and total writers block. D: Crit for Ramses/Numair still welcome.
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