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 Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:05 am
1.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my whole...
Being single situation.
2.
Now, it's really not bad, and I enjoy some of the freedoms of it,
But there's someone out there who loves me.
And loved me all along, even though I left him.
Still loves me.
(You guys remember Will. Tengu.)
He's alone. I'm alone.
And we had something, once.
I always wanted that something to come back,
But I haven't made an effort, because I don't want to force it,
And I'm afraid to maybe hurt him again.
Or just...make a bad choice for myself.
3.
Now, Will is supposed to be moving across the country to live here,
In Calgary, just for me.
(Uh, and there's a job opportunity or 20 here,
Whereas Toronto's working world is saturated.)
He's got some hopes that he can win me over if we meet.
Since I'm already single, and cooling down from Ian (uh, throbs.),
He's really thinking he has a chance with me.
I've been doing a lot of considering him, too.
He and I haven't talked too much about getting back together,
Since his internet is shot,
And I can't call that often,
But you know...maybe?
4.
I don't know if I want to be with him or not.
On one hand, I have a life of freedom, and adventures!
I can do whatever I want.
On the other hand, I can have love, maybe.
5.
That's the problem. I don't know if I can make the change.
You know how you like-like someone,
And you adore them?
Then you date them, and you like-love them, like kiddies.
Later, you love them. Too dearly to let go.
Friends, I don't know if my heart will take the chances.
6.
Do I risk never developing stronger feelings,
And cast off lonliness, by being temporarily happy,
But always worried if he wants to take the relationship further,
To being engaged, or something? (It's all too possible. And soon.)
...Or...do I sit here, and always wonder,
What could have happened if I took the chance?
Help me out, lovies.
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:07 pm
Well, I'm not really good at this. At all D:
So sorry if I don't have much advice.
I wouldn't consider anything if it's just because you're alone, or you're trying to get over someone. And I think you're right about not wanting to force it.
But other than that, I would say go for it and just see what happens. Other than that, I don't really have any other advice. D:
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:12 pm
Every little bit helps, Scoobs.
Thanks anyways! <3
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 7:32 pm
I'm not too great with advice giving.
But I'll give it a shot. ^^;
Being lonely if kinda just a phase, you know? If you're not sure about getting back with him right now, just let things flow and see how everything goes for a little bit. And if you're afraid he wants to take the relationship further, and you don't feel ready, just let him know. He can't and shouldn't force you to do anything.
I'm not really a lot of help. xD;
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Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:19 am
You shouldn't date until you're fully over this guy you broke up with (Or he broke up with you, whichever). Will, if he is mostly coming over because of job opportunities, then you probably shouldn't stop him, but he needs to understand that you need time to gather up the mental strength it needs to be in a relationship again. I'm not sure if you two have ever met IRL, but if not, then you both need to be just friends IRL for a little while before going out. People can be different IRL than they are on gaia. I have a friend who is outgoing and cuddley and rather touchy on gaia, but IRL he's laid back, doesn't want to be touched by anyone (Even thinks a common handshake is to personal) and secludes himself all the time.
People are generally different in persona on gaia, because they're being what they can't ever be (Generally, it happens on an RPG site).
So take this rather slow, that way you can gain real IRL feelings. Sure, you can have feelings over gaia, and when calling the person, it makes them more secure, but nothing beats meeting the person face to face and then seeing them more often because they live near you.
My main advice is that you should wait for your feelings for this other person to die down enough that when you get into a relationship with Will, it won't come in between you two on some lonely night and make you contemplate leaving him for this other guy that you still think about.
And when you DO get over him enough, you need to take things with Will slow, build a good face to face friendship to make sure he's as compatable as he was on gaia.
(I'm assuming you haven't met IRL, or have once or twice.)
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:24 am
This stuff helped, more than you guys think so.
Thaaanks!
(Though I'd still like some more advice from other guildians!
The more advice, the better. x3)
@@Y'all:
Never met Will in person, but we've talked on the phone for hours,
And we actually met over MSN, and talked there for a while,
Before we joined Gaia together.
We also write letters. :B
Also, Will's actually mainly moving here because of me,
But the fact that he can get a job out here is nice.
Toronto is saturateeeed.
And Ian broke up with me, not I with him.
I'm trying to make those go away.
It's sort of working; I think about Will more.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:14 am
I still stick to my word about being friends before lovers once you meet him.
Who knows how he will be IRL. You never ever know a person until you're in their site and their armlength away, if you know what I mean. >.<;
It's happened to a friend of mine back in KS, and I'm not about to let it happen to someone else expecially if I can't BE there to help them.
And you live in Canada? I'm 30min. away from canada. ~w~
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:54 pm
sad I'm sorry I have no idea what to say....except that i know how you feel because I'm going through the exact same thing almost.... because I have someone in Tennesee that really loves me but I sadly fell out of love with him and I've fallen deeply in love with someone here in my school named Steve Kneewabore but he doesn't like me the same way sadly. and then there's another kid at my work also named Steve that likes me but I don't like him that way that much. But now I started to get feelings for Ted in Tennesee but I really do like Steve and I'd honestly give anything to be with him right now even my life.....but on the other hand I do have someone that already loves me but I dno if I should go back with him and be loved....or wait until the Steve I really do love starts to love me. so that's my situation. But I've also been considering going out with the other Steve but it's so complicated. But I know I really want to be with the one at my school.
I hope you feel better and decide on what you really do want like I've decided even tho he doesn't like me the same back.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:25 pm
It depends on what you want most. And how well you two will get along.
This is just me, but I've always thought that dating was how you found love. And if you find it, you should keep it, and make it stronger. I mean, you get a lot of freedom when you're single, but I could never just date people on and off like that. I'd want someone I could go to, and hug and hold and help and take care of.
Now, if he's moving there for you, I think it shows how much he cares for you.
But if you don't want something serious yet. or ever, keep away from him.
Because it's obvious that he's serious.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:04 pm
Thanks, you guys really make me think.
It's good to have the outside advice.
Everyone's head gets a little confused, once in a while.
I'm starting to lose a grip on what I want.
=/
Trying to figure it out.
I don't know.
He's supposed to be asking his parents about financing a weeklong visit,
Where he stays in a crappy hotel and applies for accounting jobs out here.
He's asking for them to help him do this next week,
Since next Wednesday is a special day for me.
If we meet, I'm going to try to keep it distant, for starters.
But I don't know, since, really,
I have to push him to do anything about the far-away situation,
And he's never put in the effort to call me.
It's weird.
Can he love me, but still be too lazy to write a letter,
Or call, when he has seriously nothing else to do?
He's not even in school any more,
And he doesn't have a job.
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Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:30 pm
Well, now I like him less, because that's what Jerry does. (Sarah's NEW boyfriend)
And I have to be the one there for Sarah, to call her still and make her feel good again.
+ He tells her how much it wouldn't hurt if they broke up, which is the dumbest things to say, because that isn't what she wants to hear. :/
He makes her cry, I pat her on the back and send her to him again.
Then he yells at her for "hanging all over Brian." Like, after I give her a hug.
++ He doesn't call very often, when he does, he's talking to other people at his house.
The times they're together at school, he has his hands up her shirt.
I dunno. :/
Maybe Will doesn't really know what HE wants.
And he's looking to you, hoping that you'll be the answer.
Putting his life and job on hold to go see you, so you can persuade him to live with you, and make a new life.
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Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 4:31 pm
This Jerry sounds like a real a*****e and a half.
I don't think Will's like him,
But I think you have a point.
But also, I'm starting to get the feeling that, maybe,
Will convinced himself he was in love with me when I was dating him,
Since he predicted he wouldn't get many chances at a relationship any more.
I mean, he's twenty years old,
And he's never been in a serious relationship,
He's finished college,
And he never leaves home, or even the basement,
So just forget about his social life.
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