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Ok, this is a mild fight scene in my working-on-becoming-an-actual-novel. Help me out here:


The next day dawned bright and sunny. It was a perfect day to explore the grounds. Relica, up early, dressed in jeans and a shirt and went for a walk. She explored the castle, with it’s many twisting hallways, secret passages, and dead ends. The grounds were quiet, as everyone was taking the chance to sleep in. Seeing the ocean from a window, she made her way outside and began walking along the shore. She was enjoying the wind and the sound of the waves when a shadow passed over her. Looking up, she stopped dead in her tracks. The shadow landed in front of her, and Relica stood face to face with an exact male version of herself. The twin smiled, with an evil glint in his eyes.

“Well, well. Sister. Fancy seeing you here.”

Relica shook off her paralysis. “Well. I suppose there’s something that I wasn’t told.” She never took her eyes off him, guard up.

He laughed, his long green ponytail shaking with the laughter. “Yes. They never wanted to tell you about the twin, the Exiled one.” He looked at her. “They never wanted you to know about me, Halcon.” His own iridescent eyes bored into hers. “Didn’t want to admit they exiled a child.”

She looked at him cautiously. “Why would they do that?”

He looked at her, eyes bordered with red. “Because I tried kill my own little sister.” He looked at her and smiled. “My own twin.”

Relica’s hand moved to the almost invisible scar at her throat. Halcon laughed.

“Yes, little sister. It was I who gave you that scar. They erased your memories of me and had me exiled.”

She looked at him, eyes narrowing. “What do you want?”

He looked at her, an evil smile playing across his face. “Your life, little sister. And I intend to take it myself, here, now.” He extended his claws and slashed at her.

Relica was ready. She dodged the slash and countered with one of her own, cutting into Halcon’s side. He growled and turned to her, slashing again. She sidestepped, but didn’t get completely out of the way. His claws bit into her arm. She gritted her teeth and took flight. He followed, claws ready, reaching for her. She twisted in mid-air, causing him to pass her, and allowing her to slash into his back. He shouted in pain, then looked at her, eyes red. He flapped his wings hard, pulling above her, then fell, hooking his claws into her wing, tearing the soft skin. Relica cried out, and struggled to keep in the air. Halcon smiled, sure he had her. She turned in time to see him fly at her. His claws dug into her stomach, tearing across. Suddenly, a blur of black and crimson caught the light and tackled Halcon. Relica managed to get to the ground, then looked up. Large feathered crimson wings blocked her view, but after a moment, Halcon turned and began to fly away. Then, he turned and laughed.

“She’s already dead. With the poison I just put into her, she’ll die without fail!” He turned and flew off.

Relica, blood flowing from various wounds, watched as the crimson-winged one turned, and her eyes widened. He fluttered down to her.

“Relica, are you alright?” Mordicai’s violet-blue eyes looked into her iridescent ones, worry abundant.

Relica nodded and looked at him. “I’ll be fine, thanks to you. But…I never knew…” She looked to his wings again.

He smiled, concentrated, and the wings folded in and disappeared into his back. “Sorry. It was the only way to get here in time.” He looked at her wounds worriedly. “We should get you back to Hazel.”

Relica shook her head and pulled away from him. “No. You have all done too much for me already. I won’t let you do more. It would be too much.” She wavered, then fell to her knees, weakened by the loss of blood and the poison flowing through her.

Mordicai frowned. “You know, you should really learn to let people help you. You can hold your own in a fight without difficulty, but when it comes to help, you’re inept.” He smiled at her, then picked her up as if she weighed nothing. “Besides, I like helping you.”

Relica blushed, then relaxed in his arms. “I’m sorry about this.”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.” His eyes grew serious as he walked. “Who was that?”

Relica looked back. “My twin brother, Halcon. My memories of him were erased after he tried to kill me. He was exiled.”

Mordicai frowned deeper. “Your twin, huh? Well, he’d better think twice about attacking you again.”

Relica looked at him as her vision blurred, then went dark.

As she passed out in his arms, Mordicai sped up. Hold on, Relica, he thought.

Thank you! I'll work on that and post an edit when it's done.