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[[The Look Stapled On Your Face Cries Out For Forgiveness]]...

Well, before about a week ago, I guess I could say I completely labeled myself 'gay'. I was all about guys in brutal honesty. I'd given oral to guys before and whatnot, and I did it because I wanted to.

So for Christmas, I got one of the Smallville Seasons and I started to find a deep attraction to the Lois Lane. I was actually fantasizing about her for a bit. Not extremely, but like I saw her do a pole dance on YouTube and I was pretty pleased with it.

Now, also recently, a gay friend of mine showed deep interest in me and I guess I started flirting with him and whatnot and promised him some 'experiences'. The next day I woke up and I guess I just didn't feel it was right anymore and I told him I was sorry for raising his hopes and whatnot.

I guess I still find men attractive, but now I'm actually starting to think more about women and my sexual attraction to men is sort of slipping away.

I seriously have no idea whether I'm bi, gay, or straight. And it's like "AHHH!"..I guess being straight wouldn't be so bad. xp

...[[The One Thing That I Cannot Give]]

Yay! That's me! I hear ya bud! It's confusing. confused

Don't push yourself to be gay or straight just because you are confused and want to finally figure it out. A swift conclusion to a problem may not be the right one.

Imagine if you decide you are straight and get married to a young lady. What if you started feeling something for men and it wouldn't go away? How would you break it to your spouse that you liked men and it was a mistake to get married?

A family friend was in his late 30's when he found this out. He had to end his relationship with his wife and chase a life he knew he wanted.

Just because you have a fancy for a character on TV and a female friend does not mean your like of boys is a passing fancy. Don't be so hasty to say "Well I like these two girls, so I guess I'm straight" because in a few months you could be going "Women suck, I like men again".

Your gay friend who you turned down might be taking it personally that you agreed to have some "experiences" with him and then changed your mind. I had a girlfriend in high school who knew I was not into threesomes and that if she cheated on me, it was over. So a guy comes along that she likes and she tells me that she realized she wasn't into girls. A week later I found out she had slept with this guy a few times and was now with another girl.

I took it personally until I realized she didn't like people who made her wait for sex.


Anyway... don't assume that you are anything until your hormones settle out. Try considering yourself Questioning or even Bi-curious until you level out and determine which gender is right for you.

my advice:
don't put too much value on labels. If you decide to call yourself straight because you like a girl, or gay because you've never liked a girl before, it won't mean anything. Opinions change. Everyone is a little bit bi. If you dig gals thats great, it'll be nice to try something new. But don't get all eager to call yourself straight. it's nothing more than another label.

...sorry, I'm rambling.