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 Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:21 pm
This what some would call an "open" poem,
or a poem with no real structure or rhyme.
It's not my best, but it's something I feel strongly
about. Please don't sugar-coat your comments,
but don't be down-right cruel, either.
surprised
---
With my heart in one hand,
I approach your front door,
Trembling.
With tears in my eyes,
I stutter my proposal,
And look into your face.
The word bleed from me,
And I open myself to you.
I am vulnerable, I am weak,
And you could shatter me
Like so much glass.
But you stand, and you stare,
Then you smile.
I am afraid, so afraid,
But you put your arms around me,
And you cry.
"This is what I always wanted"
You say,
And I wake up.
I'm cold and my pillow's damp,
And you are not here.
I laugh and curse myself,
Feeling foolish and beaten.
And I secretly wish I would
Dream of you again
Tonight.
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 12:04 am
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 12:52 pm
Wow, that was a good poem.
^-^ I like it when I'm able to picture it and feel it too.
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 1:23 pm
Very good
I like "open" poems
Not sugar-coating either xp
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 7:11 pm
I liked the poem. I think you are a really good poet.
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Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:51 pm
i suck at poems/writing so i cant critique.
its sad.. but nice... i like it... ;_;
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