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 Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 12:23 am
I didn't really know where else to put this, but I've had this guilty feeling in my stomach about my Grandma being alone for too long around the baby when he's born.
Grandma recently got a new puppy that she doesn't even need, and it's probably barely past 8 weeks old. Mini-dachshund. Well, she trains the dogs she gets by putting them in a "kennel" whenever she's in bed, or not home, so that they don't potty in the house. When she gets up or comes home, she takes them outside. That's beside the point. Well, the little puppy whines and cries at night, because it's all alone in that great big cage. I've actually heard her getting mad enough at the poor thing that she goes over there, picks the kennel up, and then slams it back down on the ground to get the puppy to hush. She also yells all sorts of profanity and hits the cage, and the puppy yelps at all the abuse. She just doesn't have the patience for something so young and small.
What she's been doing to the puppy worries me and is making me very untrusting of her, and of how she'd act around an infant. That puppy is basically an infant; it cries when it needs attention, food, etc. Same as what a baby does. What if I have the misfortune of having a baby with colic? eek If she's alone with it for too long, and all it can do is cry and cry and cry...what would she do?
I'm going to be moving out soon; my husband and I are finally able to save up money, now that the holidays are over, but we might be here for a little while after our baby is born.
Is it really so wrong to be so worried about that? I mean, I just keep picturing my baby crying while she's babysitting it, and her slamming his carseat down to the ground to try and shut him up! eek
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 2:41 pm
Don't leave your baby with someone you don't trust. Period.
Not even if it's your Grandma...your mother...a friend. If you don't trust them, don't do it and PBBT to hurt feelings. Better hurt feelings then a potentially hurt or dead child.
Your job is to protect your child from the world, even if it's relations who may harm them.
You could always talk to her about your concerns, but from the sound of it, you're scared of her as well. So make sure to lay ground rules and don't leave her in a situation where she's alone with your baby. If it means going out less, well, so be it.
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:08 pm
I agree with Pirate Dirge. If you don't feel comfortable leavng your baby with someone, don't leave the baby with them.
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 4:50 pm
Pirate Dirge Don't leave your baby with someone you don't trust. Period.
QFE. There is nothing abusive about crate training a puppy. Yes, a puppy is not going to like it, but it is the most effective way to housetrain a dog. HOWEVER, what your grandmother is doing (picking up and slamming the crate)is abuse and I think a call into the necessary authorities on animal cruelty is warranted. And sorry going to disagree with you on that one, a puppy is NOT basically an infant. I'd take puppy ANY day over newborn. wink I do get what you're saying that if she can't handle something as basic as a puppy and crate training, I'd be worried too about the much higher demands and needs of a newborn. Do whatever it takes to keep your baby safe. I know my husband has an aunt that when she held Logan as a newborn, she almost dropped him. So, when I had Liam, I was VERY adamant about her not holding Liam. She's an intimidating lady and like the matriach of the family, but when it comes to baby and safety, that comes first over relations.
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 8:10 pm
lunashock Pirate Dirge Don't leave your baby with someone you don't trust. Period.
QFE. There is nothing abusive about crate training a puppy. Yes, a puppy is not going to like it, but it is the most effective way to housetrain a dog. HOWEVER, what your grandmother is doing (picking up and slamming the crate)is abuse and I think a call into the necessary authorities on animal cruelty is warranted. And sorry going to disagree with you on that one, a puppy is NOT basically an infant. I'd take puppy ANY day over newborn. wink I do get what you're saying that if she can't handle something as basic as a puppy and crate training, I'd be worried too about the much higher demands and needs of a newborn. Do whatever it takes to keep your baby safe. I know my husband has an aunt that when she held Logan as a newborn, she almost dropped him. So, when I had Liam, I was VERY adamant about her not holding Liam. She's an intimidating lady and like the matriach of the family, but when it comes to baby and safety, that comes first over relations. I don't think crate training a puppy is wrong; I agree that it's highly effective. It's just her methods of hushing the puppy when it whines that worries me. confused I mean, sure, I don't want to keep her from ever seeing or holding my baby, but as far as being alone with him...like Hell. I'll be sitting right there next to her the entire time. I don't really have to worry about going out less often; I've got my Mom and my husband's Mom to rely on for the babysitting if we ever want some "time off" As far as talking to my Grandma about my concerns; I don't think that'd go over too well. It's not necessarily that I'm afraid of her, it's just of how I know she'd react. She'd get sooo offended and take it so personally that she could end up never speaking to me again-or even kick me and my hubby out of the house! We don't have the money to move yet, so I'm just laying low until we can move.
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Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 9:55 pm
I feel the same way about my mother-in-law (the only family we have in this area of the world). She broke my husband's neck when he was a toddler by putting a hat on his head too hard. I've also seen the way she interracts with our cats whenever she comes over. She just grabs them and cuddles them so hard and you can just see the absolute terror in their eyes, but she doesn't seem to notice.
I am scared to death that she's going to hurt our baby.
I agree with Pirate Dirge that if you are worried, just don't do it. I don't think you really need to have a conversation with her. You don't need to sit her down and say "you are abusive to your puppy and a horrible person and I don't trust you around my child." You can just not leave her alone with your child. If she offers to babysit or something, just say "oh no, thanks. That's ok" and give her a big smile. If she makes a fuss, well... I guess just try to deflect it.
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 10:18 pm
Akhakhu I feel the same way about my mother-in-law (the only family we have in this area of the world). She broke my husband's neck when he was a toddler by putting a hat on his head too hard. I've also seen the way she interracts with our cats whenever she comes over. She just grabs them and cuddles them so hard and you can just see the absolute terror in their eyes, but she doesn't seem to notice. I am scared to death that she's going to hurt our baby. I agree with Pirate Dirge that if you are worried, just don't do it. I don't think you really need to have a conversation with her. You don't need to sit her down and say "you are abusive to your puppy and a horrible person and I don't trust you around my child." You can just not leave her alone with your child. If she offers to babysit or something, just say "oh no, thanks. That's ok" and give her a big smile. If she makes a fuss, well... I guess just try to deflect it. Yeah, that's pretty much going to be my method of how to keep her from babysitting. If anything, I'll just tell her that my husband's mom was already promised to get to watch over him for a while, or whatnot. Of course, I could always make it to where I don't have to lie to her and end up feeling guilty. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:16 pm
You need to trust your instincts. I refuse to leave my toddler with my grandma. In the past I caught her giving him balloons and pill bottles to play with, he's much faster than her, (she's 92, she can't keep up, I'm 26 and I barely keep up), and she has been known to pinch and scratch my stepdaughter (age 6) and she even called her a b***h.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:13 am
Awwww, poor puppy!!! How could she treat it like that??? She shouldn't have an animal if she's going to treat it like that, first of all. & if you notice it more I would maybe suggest making an annonymous call to animal rights. I'm sure more people then just you have noticed the abuse & so she couldn't pinpoint who called in.
Secondly I would be concerned as well. There is a possibility that she looks at animals like they're inferior to humans & she would never treat an infant that way, but I would definitly concider keeping an eye on how she is with your son before you leave him alone with her.
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