Hmm... It's better than some of the samples for other people, but my only real gripes are twofold:
One: Generally, when someone speaks, you indent the quote. So instead of
Quote:
Kakashi slowly places his make out paradise book in his pocket and says "Ok now it's time to get serious." He quickly hops onto a nearby wall and builds chakra into his hands.
try
Quote:
Kakashi slowly places his make out paradise book in his pocket and says,
"Ok now it's time to get serious." He quickly hops onto a nearby wall and builds chakra into his hands.
Then there's capitalization, but I can let that pass. I can't be too picky.
Your good, actually. I think you've got him.
Good luck -- Kaka-Sensei's my favorite character! ~<3
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