I was mildly depressed, and ended up drawing. Finding no solace, I said ******** it and opened up my cow-bank. Pulling forth all coins of any value, shoving them in my pocket and saying to Mi-chan, "Let's go get donuts."
Questionably, she throws on her hoodie and heads for the door, I c**k an eyebrow and smile in a quirky fashion, "Grab your umbrella."
With umbrellas in tow, we head to the pizza hut down by the out skirts of Portland where my brother is the shiftleader for the night and is closing the place down at 2-a. After he is done with his duties, and we have eaten the last of the breadsticks for the night, we grab his five foot umbrella and go to down town Portland. Where the streets are utterly random, one way, two way or neither and completely confusing... and conviently empty.
We park. The small joy I find in being an insomniac is never having to pay for parking since charged parking ends at 11-p. Yosh. x3
The umbrellas are now in full span and we're walking up and down the streets trying to find the deserted ally in which the Oregon famous magical hole donut shop is... VooDoo Donuts. Open from 6-a to 4-a, and even then they have a small window in which you can buy donuts from, from the back entrance during the two hours in which they are 'closed'.
We get our donuts, my brother his classic apple-fritter, Mi-chan the signature voo-doo donut [in the shape of a person complete with strawberry jelly insides, and a pretzel stick sticking out of it's heart], and me the Pacman, the special for the night. [a donut in the shape of Pacman, with blueberry filling].
And then there we see it. The donut of all girl's dreams. The giant chocolate covered p***s cream filled donut. 12 inches in length, filled with signature house whip cream sauce, and smothered with deep fudge frosting. Joy-gasam.
I turn to the obviously stoned baker-clerk and ask how much, he then said it's four dollars. I sigh, say no thank you, and then ask how much our current donut total was. He stared at the donuts, pondering for a great length in time before fumbling with the words, four dollars... mind you, from previous Voo-Doo donut encounters, I knew the fritter was $2, the signature voo-doo doll was $1.5 and the house special was always $2. Sweet, beans.
So we left. Wandering the streets of Portland, laughing our asses off and discussing anything that comes to mind and eating the best donuts in the ******** world. Happiness.
But I couldn't stop thinking about it. The phalic donut of my dreams, sitting there in the spinning rack back at the shop, spinning, spinning. I eventually pull out my change that I had pried from the insides of my cold and now dead cow-bank, and find that I not only have four dollars, but one extra! We hurry through Portland China town and make our way back to the ally way of Voo-Doo donuts, but alas the front door closes at 4-a... from there we take two steps to the right and tap on the 'back door' window. A guy opens the window and asks us what we would like.
"Sir, I would like a p***s donut."
"One chocolate flamer, coming right up."
He turns, I ask him for a box to transport said p***s donut and he produces one and I hand him my change. Usually the donut comes with free condoms, but he said they were out for the night... in which he then winked at his male co-worker. I then looked to Mi-chan, then to my brother, and shuttered violently.
We end our adventure for the night, we take my brother home and Mi-chan and I take the donut home. We insert the p***s into the fridge and then finaly fall asleep for the morning around 5-a.
BEHOLD! The beauty and art which is Voo-Doo Donuts.
