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 Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 10:57 pm
I have a problem, my dad is coming over tommorrow with his ex-wife/current girlfriend and I dont know what to do, he treats him like s**t, wont let him be around his family, and call my family imbreed for no reason what so ever. My dad left here this last time because she set all his clothes on fire, and kicking in his tv. Her reasoning was because he was talking to a long time friend of his, she is a girl but she's also a lesbian.
I know his isnt usually what people talk about in this guild but most of you are indeed parents and i am curious how to make my dad understand that not only do I think he shouldnt be with her, but the rest of the family does as well, but not hurting his feelings at the same time. Please Help.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 1:58 am
All I can really say is be honest and tell him outright. Its your home and if he doesn't respect you and your home to abide by your wishes,then He shouldn't visit.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 1:24 pm
Everyone makes stupid decisions in love from time to time. While I don't know that you could claim any say in who your father dates, however, it doesn't mean you have to roll over and play dead either. If you absolutely object to being in this woman's presence, you have every right to ask that, when he comes to visit, he not bring her. You have every right to refuse her entry to your home, and you certainly do not have to offer hospitality to someone who is willing to insult you openly. If your father needs to know why, that is your opportunity to tell him how you feel. If he doesn't ask why, you can rest assured he already knows he's being stupid, and he knows how his family feels too.
Best of luck, and I hope she leaves soon.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 1:50 pm
thanks for the advice gals, i ll try my best to be honest with him, i thought he woulda learnt she was no go for him by now, I have honestly lost most of my respect for my father, I am just glad I didn't get my intelligence from him
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:13 pm
Well he never came over, I call him every other day to make sure everything is ok, she beat him up on tuesday nightand she cant come around him without breaking the law, so this better be the last time this stuff happens or else i may beat him up lol
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:18 pm
I don't mean to be too personal - but could there be a health issue here? Is your dad "different" than he was when you were younger? Has he seen a doctor lately and had his annual check-up? I know that there are certain health issues that can change mental issues and mental depressions, etc. that can change the physical health.
You don't need to be anybodies stepping stone. Stand up for yourself and give your dad some more positive self image as well - maybe that will make a difference for him.
Good luck!
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Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 8:19 am
Ms Jo I don't mean to be too personal - but could there be a health issue here? Is your dad "different" than he was when you were younger? Has he seen a doctor lately and had his annual check-up? I know that there are certain health issues that can change mental issues and mental depressions, etc. that can change the physical health. You don't need to be anybodies stepping stone. Stand up for yourself and give your dad some more positive self image as well - maybe that will make a difference for him. Good luck! i am not sure, i didnt get to see much of him when i was younger
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Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 11:55 pm
i am not sure, i didnt get to see much of him when i was younger
That must have been hard - and harder still to try to integrate him into your life now. Some relationships are not worth it. You need to be in control of your own life and decide what fits into it and how strong you are so you can decide how much you can handle and if it is worth the price.
I have been married about 29 years and my parents were married for almost 50 before my dad died of a heart attack, but I know that my grandmother was divorced because the relationship was too hard on her and her children. She left more because of her children. He was alcoholic when people didn't know what alcoholism was.
Let us know how things go. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 9:44 pm
Ms Jo i am not sure, i didnt get to see much of him when i was younger That must have been hard - and harder still to try to integrate him into your life now. Some relationships are not worth it. You need to be in control of your own life and decide what fits into it and how strong you are so you can decide how much you can handle and if it is worth the price. I have been married about 29 years and my parents were married for almost 50 before my dad died of a heart attack, but I know that my grandmother was divorced because the relationship was too hard on her and her children. She left more because of her children. He was alcoholic when people didn't know what alcoholism was. Let us know how things go. heart ok, well he is supposed to over tonight for x-mas eve dinner and i am hoping everthing goes okay
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Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 12:59 am
Did everything go okay, then? I hope you have a Very Merry Christmas!
there has got to be rewards some where for people like you who keep reaching out and trying!
heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 11:21 pm
Ms Jo Did everything go okay, then? I hope you have a Very Merry Christmas! there has got to be rewards some where for people like you who keep reaching out and trying! heart Yea everything went great expect it took him forever to get her and my grandma started freaking out, Thanks for asking
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:33 am
That sounds just like my mom - she is always worried about us getting enough to eat, or if we are a little late, or etc.
But, I guess, that just means they have gone through more things and so have experienced more things to worry about.
Any more upcoming get-togethers since this one went as well as it did?
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