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 Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:47 pm
So, Mr. Yaholnitski, first and foremost, is God. He's also one of my school's vice principals. But mostly God. At any rate, I just decided after posting in the Christmas-censorship PC-fun thread, that I'd bang off a few of the more amusing lines he's spoken.
Over the PA: "Why, when there are chairs literally two feet away from you, do you insist on sitting on my cafeteria tables?! And yes, since you're going to ask, I *can* see you and *am* watching you. Now sit like normal people."
More PA abuse:
Him: "Dan Phipps, if you don't come to the office in the next two minutes, I'm going to come out looking for you. I'm rather comfortable where I am, and I don't want to get up. This means you don't want me to either."
Me: *salutes the cameras*
Him: There, now I've got your attention.
From the PC-goodness thread:
Our school, to my eternal joy, had a "Picture with Santa" thing today. We had a ******** Santa in the school! And a tree and everything! I asked my VP about it, and his response was "Well, if you want my honest opinion, I don't give a damn about every whiny liberal p***k trying to make the differences between people even more obvious than they already are." I heart my VP.
Conversation in the hallway:
Me: So, do you enjoy being the Voice of God, or is it just laziness?
Him: I like my chair. A lot. I also like seeing people jump when they realize I'm talking to them from every direction.
Me: You're not particularly nice to them, are you?
Him: Ah, but they aren't particularly nice to the cafeteria tables, are they?
Me: Touche.
Him: Shouldn't you be in class?
Me: Probably.
Him: Why are you here then?
Me: It's more amusing?
Him: Just go to class...
Me: Awww... no fun. *scuttles off*
I love having a kickass VP. I'll remember/experience more later.
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Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 6:59 pm
Lucky. The most badass thing any non-teacher staff member at my school ever said was "OMG YOUR SHIRT'S UNTUCKED? DETENTION FOR YOU!" scream
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Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:04 pm
Toga! Toga! Lucky. The most badass thing any non-teacher staff member at my school ever said was "OMG YOUR SHIRT'S UNTUCKED? DETENTION FOR YOU!" scream Awwww. Your school fails. Though at this rate mine's not even going to HAVE a VP anymore. Seriously, the guy's gonna get himself fired one of these days. Eh, it's fun while it lasts.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 12:29 pm
That is truly ******** amazing. I only wish I'd had a school VP like that.
I can think of three amusing things that happened during high school.
1. My friends and I were kicked out of the library for three months because we were "being loud". In the process, one of the group was threatened by the librarian. Kickass.
2. My dean, in the first-of-year assembly, referencing "the Man" six times in two minutes, without realizing he referred to himself.
3. English teacher: "Goddamn Christians!"
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 1:36 pm
Cougar Draven That is truly ******** amazing. I only wish I'd had a school VP like that. I can think of three amusing things that happened during high school. 1. My friends and I were kicked out of the library for three months because we were "being loud". In the process, one of the group was threatened by the librarian. Kickass. 2. My dean, in the first-of-year assembly, referencing "the Man" six times in two minutes, without realizing he referred to himself. 3. English teacher: "Goddamn Christians!" My Social teacher is a Communist. Not a single lesson to this date has been found without a ridiculous slant. Also, your English teacher is God. Mine is just boring.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:55 pm
Emperor Fluffzorz My Social teacher is a Communist. Not a single lesson to this date has been found without a ridiculous slant. Also, your English teacher is God. Mine is just boring. But seriously...I thought of one more. You know those Diet Coke and Mentos videos that just came out this past year? Yeah...totally had that figured out three years ago, and get this, my experiment, while off school time, was sanctioned by my science teacher.I loved high school.
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Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:14 pm
Cougar Draven Emperor Fluffzorz My Social teacher is a Communist. Not a single lesson to this date has been found without a ridiculous slant. Also, your English teacher is God. Mine is just boring. But seriously...I thought of one more. You know those Diet Coke and Mentos videos that just came out this past year? Yeah...totally had that figured out three years ago, and get this, my experiment, while off school time, was sanctioned by my science teacher.I loved high school. My Social teacher's idea of a fun end of the year thing was to acquire half a dozen durians and try to make people eat them. He also randomly walked into the class every once in a while, handed a Corner Gas DVD to whoever was closest to the TV and said "Eh, we're weeks ahead of the rest of the classes and, more importantly, I feel lazy today".
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 8:06 pm
Emperor Fluffzorz Cougar Draven Emperor Fluffzorz My Social teacher is a Communist. Not a single lesson to this date has been found without a ridiculous slant. Also, your English teacher is God. Mine is just boring. But seriously...I thought of one more. You know those Diet Coke and Mentos videos that just came out this past year? Yeah...totally had that figured out three years ago, and get this, my experiment, while off school time, was sanctioned by my science teacher.I loved high school. My Social teacher's idea of a fun end of the year thing was to acquire half a dozen durians and try to make people eat them. He also randomly walked into the class every once in a while, handed a Corner Gas DVD to whoever was closest to the TV and said "Eh, we're weeks ahead of the rest of the classes and, more importantly, I feel lazy today". God, that's brilliant. Several of my history teachers referenced the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Hell, if they lift the "natural-born" clause in the Constitution, I'll vote for him.
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Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 4:09 pm
Cougar Draven Emperor Fluffzorz Cougar Draven Emperor Fluffzorz My Social teacher is a Communist. Not a single lesson to this date has been found without a ridiculous slant. Also, your English teacher is God. Mine is just boring. But seriously...I thought of one more. You know those Diet Coke and Mentos videos that just came out this past year? Yeah...totally had that figured out three years ago, and get this, my experiment, while off school time, was sanctioned by my science teacher.I loved high school. My Social teacher's idea of a fun end of the year thing was to acquire half a dozen durians and try to make people eat them. He also randomly walked into the class every once in a while, handed a Corner Gas DVD to whoever was closest to the TV and said "Eh, we're weeks ahead of the rest of the classes and, more importantly, I feel lazy today". God, that's brilliant. Several of my history teachers referenced the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Hell, if they lift the "natural-born" clause in the Constitution, I'll vote for him. So... very... supremacist... Aye, it's about time your government discarded that archaic, narrow-minded policy. There are a hell of a lot of people outside your borders who'd be of more use than your last few Prezzies that can't run simply because they had the "misfortune" (and I'm going to be honest here, I consider it more a misfortune to be born in than out right now, wwhat with George's Constitution-raping) of not being born there.
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 12:02 am
Emperor Fluffzorz Cougar Draven Emperor Fluffzorz Cougar Draven Emperor Fluffzorz My Social teacher is a Communist. Not a single lesson to this date has been found without a ridiculous slant. Also, your English teacher is God. Mine is just boring. But seriously...I thought of one more. You know those Diet Coke and Mentos videos that just came out this past year? Yeah...totally had that figured out three years ago, and get this, my experiment, while off school time, was sanctioned by my science teacher.I loved high school. My Social teacher's idea of a fun end of the year thing was to acquire half a dozen durians and try to make people eat them. He also randomly walked into the class every once in a while, handed a Corner Gas DVD to whoever was closest to the TV and said "Eh, we're weeks ahead of the rest of the classes and, more importantly, I feel lazy today". God, that's brilliant. Several of my history teachers referenced the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Hell, if they lift the "natural-born" clause in the Constitution, I'll vote for him. So... very... supremacist... Aye, it's about time your government discarded that archaic, narrow-minded policy. There are a hell of a lot of people outside your borders who'd be of more use than your last few Prezzies that can't run simply because they had the "misfortune" (and I'm going to be honest here, I consider it more a misfortune to be born in than out right now, wwhat with George's Constitution-raping) of not being born there. I was born under the flag of Ronald Reagan, who I consider to be one of the all-time greats. I think I did all right, even if I am a wildly insane homicidal maniac with a Messiah complex. And if that wasn't bad enough, I also read webcomics.
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