Well this story I've been writing for some time now and I want some feedback. This story is about a real life crush of mine, but the storyline is completely fake (to be honest, i'd never have a chance with this boy. He seems homophobic.) I have posted the first three chapters. There are more, but 1, they are a little over pg-13, 2, i've had a brain fart on updating the storyline and that's all the downfalls i've had with this story. I hope you like it...I sure enjoy writing it. And PLEASE give me feedback anyway you can.
Here it is: It Was Destiny.
.:The New Kid-Chapter 1:.
“Today someone new moved in the house across the street,” was how I started my journal entry. “I saw someone around my age. Maybe we could be friends.” I continued. “Well, I’ll find out if so because I think he’s supposed to be in one of my classes, so I’ll fill you in later today,” as I closed my journal and got ready for school. When I arrived at school, I saw the new kid. He had a very light complexion, brown hair, brown eyes, a little more built that I was, 16 and about 5’3”, about my height. Yet we didn’t speak to each other. We ended up having 3 classes together. When I got home, I decided to go and introduce myself.
“Hey, how’s it goin’?” I asked politely as he was in his garage unpacking.
“Nothing much,” he softly replied.
“I’m Dan, what’s your name?”
“Devin. Where do you live?”
“Across the street. I have a feeling we’re going to become good friends,” I said with a smile.
“Yeah, I hope.”
“So I guess I’ll leave you to continue moving in, but when you want to talk just come over,” I said.
“Sure, that would be great.”
“See ya,” I said.
“Nice meeting you Dan.” He said as I went back to my house.
When I got in I began writing a song for my band until he came by.
~One hour later~
When I heard the doorbell I immediately went to the door, and it was Devin. It was a nice day so we sat outside.
“I saw you at school today, in three of my classes,” Devin started.
“Yeah I saw you too,” I replied.
“So is this place nice?” he asked.
“Yeah, it’s pretty nice and quiet.”
“Man, it’s hard having to move,” he said sadly.
“I haven’t moved, but my friend has and my friendship with him is almost gone,” I said with a feeling of dismay.
“But I have pretty good hopes of this place considering I haven’t lived here 24 hours and I already have a friend,” Devin said with a happy look.
“Yeah.”
“So you got a girlfriend?” Devin asked sort of randomly.
“Nope.”
“Me neither,” he said.
“I broke up with my last girlfriend a year ago,” I said, lying, since I had never had one.
“Same here!” he replied.
We ended up talking for at least 5 hours if not more. I guess you could say we clicked and I knew that our friendship was really going to last.
“Wow, I’m starving!” Devin said.
“I could understand why! We’ve been talking for 5 hours!” I said.
“Whoa! But I need some food, why don’t you come over?” he asked.
“I thought it’d be best if you ate with me considering you’d probably have to unpack things, so you if you want, you could stay!” I said happily.
“Sure, let me run and tell my mom!” he said.
“You don’t have a dad?” I asked.
“Nope, dad divorced when I was born, and I’ve never really met him,” he replied.
“Well, I’m sorry I brought it up!” I said feeling stupid.
“No worries.”
“…he went and told his mom and we had dinner together and we talked some more. We hit it off great.” I wrote in my journal. I used my journal as an escape from the harsh reality of life and to get out what was really on my mind.
.:Coming Out-Chapter 2:.
“Well Devin and I now are great friends. And lately I’ve been sneaking out of the house late at night to talk to him, yet every time I talk to him I feel…odd. But come to think of it we’ve been friends for only a month now…”
“Hey,” I said quietly.
“Hey!” Devin said calmly.
We would meet in the alley where no one would see us.
“So how’s it going?” he asked.
“Pretty good,” I said.
“Can I tell you something personal and promise you won’t tell anyone?” he asked looking down and kicking at the rocks.
“Sure, what’s on your mind?” I asked reassuringly.
“I’m only going to tell you this because I trust you,” he said, paused and partially stuttered, “I don’t know Dan, but I uh… I think I’m gay,” he muttered, visibly blushing.
“What?” I thought to myself.
“Let me guess, we aren’t friends anymore,” he said angrily because I didn’t say anything for a while.
“No! I accept you for who you really are! Isn’t that what friends are for?” I said.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Devin said.
At this time I was leaning against his garage, standing close to him, and I felt the heat radiating off of his body and it was for some reason calming.
“Well, it’s getting pretty late, I’d better go to bed,” I said.
“Alright, but we’re still friends, right?” Devin asked.
“Yeah, and your secret is safe with me,” I said hoping to cheer him up.
“…and then he told me he was gay. I can remember how the heat from his body felt and it made me feel a way I had never felt before. It made me feel sorta… relaxed in an acid trip-like sense. I am starting to question myself.”
.:My True Self-Chapter 3:.
“Wow, it’s been a week since Devin came out and he been acting really nervous around me, I ought to talk to him. Today is Friday and I’ll probably spend the night at his house.”
“Hey Devin!” I said with a smile walking into his room.
“Hey Dan,” he said quite sadly.
“Why have you been acting down lately?” I asked him.
“I am still worried about what you think about me,” he said.
“Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Well you know we’ll be friends forever!” I said trying to cheer him up.
At that point we were both sitting very close facing each other. I looked back at the door and it was completely silent in the house. I closed my eyes and turned my head back and felt like I was under a spell. We began to lean forward, tilted our heads and kissed. Once, twice, three times. I felt his body and he felt mine. I had never felt like this with a girl and in a way, I felt…good. By the time I had some thought of what was going on, I was lying on top of him and we were kissing and kissing and kissing. I felt as if I never could or really wanted to stop.
“Wow,” I said as I got off of him.
“This is why I’ve felt so down,” Devin said. “I have liked you for a while now and I thought our friendship would end if I ever tried to pursue it.”
“That was my first kiss ever,” I said embarrassed.
“So are you gay too?” he asked as he put his arm around my waist, pushing my head to rest on his shoulder.
“I don’t know,” I said now feeling very confused but relaxed.
“Because if so, I think you’re really cute!” Devin said with a smirk.
“What’s going on?” I asked as if I was passing out as he began to hug me.
“It’s alright to feel this way,” Devin said trying now to comfort me.
“I want to sit on the bed,” I said like I had just been really hurt.
“All right, hun, whatever you want,” Devin said queerly.
He sat on the bed with his legs somewhat spread leaning against the wall. I pounced onto the bed and latched onto his waist, laying my head on his crotch as I began to cry. He had his hand on my head and the other rubbing my back.
“Its okay, hun. It’s okay,” he said in a reassuring and calming voice that I had thought could have never come from him.
I continued to sob for a while, and then finally got up, blew my nose, got into the covers and laid down but just couldn’t stop crying.
He turned off the light and got under the covers and I wrapped my legs around his and started hugging him and I almost cried myself asleep, but Devin moved and turned to face me and began to wipe my tears.
“Devin, you’ve explained why I feel odd around you, I think I’m attracted to you and I didn’t know this is how it felt,” I said.
Devin smiled. “And you know I’ve felt the same way about you. I guess we’re just two little queers in love!” he said.
I then moved in and kissed him and then it happened again. I felt once again in a trance as we began making out fiercely. It then got so intense that we began to rip each other’s clothes off. When I stopped him to breathe, he was lying on top of me and we were completely naked. At this point, I definitely knew I was gay because I wanted to screw him and the urge to was strong. And then we continued. When we finally stopped, we were too tired to redress, so I began to lay sideways and put my arm around his body. He had very visible abs and skin like silk. His shaven body was like a little boy’s and I felt like I could eat him. I found out that my nerves when I talked to guys was because I liked them and just couldn’t admit it to myself until I kissed one.
So how is it?
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