|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:45 am
Ra stared at himself through the steam of the shower. He was trying to tell himself they were not right. How could they be. If he were so disgusting, if he was such a freak, then why would Obie love him? Unless she was lying. Unless she was just trying to be nice. He swallowed and leaned on the sink, staring at the gross wrinkled burn scars that marred his chest, he looked at his face. His nose that was too big, his girlish lips. His stupid hair. Now he felt even more crazy.
Only girls were supposed to geet problems like this. Spending hours in front of the mirror agonising over how they looked. Taking a deep breath he picked up his razor and switched it on. Maybe if he got rid of the stupid facial hair he might look a bit better.
Sure he was supposed to be hanging out with Obie this evening but she would probably relish not having to look at him for the evening. Not having to touch him and have him touch her. Swallowing he started to rid himself of the look he had settled with a year ago.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:04 am
Obie was a bit worried. It wasn't like Ra to just not show up when they made plans. It was even less like him to not answer his cell phone. She had called it several times and everytime she got his voicemail.
Slipping into his apartment, she shut the door behind her and glanced around. Hearing something in the bathroom, she started towards it.
"Ne-chan? Love, are you alright?" she called through the closed door.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:33 am
Ra almost didn't hear her over the sound of the fan and the razor. When he did he blinked, looked in the mirror and then to the lack of clothing that he had to cover himself up with. He panicked for a moment, turning the razor off and looking at his cleanshaven face. It still didn't look any better.
"Yeah." He called reaching for a T-shirt and grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist. fastening it he opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom.
"Um, I don't think I'm up for dinner tonight." He said softly. keeping his head down as he moved past her to search for some trousers.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:42 am
Obie smiled as the door opened, blinked in surprise when she realized he was clean shaven, and then frowned in concern. Something wasn't quite right. She wasn't sure what it was, but she could feel it almost instantly.
"But I've already made it love," she smiled and stepped over to him. Reaching out, she placed her hand on his arm and tried to get a proper look at him. It had been a long time since she had seen him without facial hair.
"What made you finally decide to shave?" she asked, genuinely curious. She thought that he had really liked the unkempt look.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:50 am
Ra flinched as she touched him, pulling away and frowning to himself. Why didn't she stay away. She didn't have to endure his prescence. She didn't really want to touch him, she didn't have to.
"It didn't work." He muttered to himself in answer to her question and looked up at her. His anguish clear in his eyes. "Um I'm not hungry." He said softly disappearing back into the bathroom so that he could change properly without her watching him and wondering why she was with such a freak.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:58 am
Obie withdrew her hand as he flinched beneath her touch and watched him with growing concern. When he finally looked at her, she searched his eyes for a moment then watched him disappear into the bathroom once more. Thinking for a moment, trying to figure out what could possibly be making him act this way, she honestly couldn't think of anything. She hadn't done anything... at least, nothing she could think of. Walking to the bathroom door, she pressed her palm against the smooth surface, then reached out and opened the door.
"Love... you're really worrying me. Please... what happened?" she asked, searching his face.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:20 am
"No!" He cried as she started to come into the bathroom. He had his top off and she couldn'ts see him. "I don't want you to see me." He shouted, pushing her back into the room and slamming the door. He leaned against the door and stared at the horrid vision in the mirror. "You don't want to see me." He said picking up his heavy razor and looking at the scars that seemed to be growing. Taking him over. Why the ******** was she with him in the first place. She was beautiful, could have any guy she wanted. Why him?
It was a joke. Some sick joke to show him up. Like the ones they played with him in school. He hadn't been good enough for Chii, come to think of it she had started messing with him once she had seen them. He was hideous. Frowning he threw the razor at the mirror, smashing it to pieces. Shards fell to the tiled floor cutting his feet, what were a few more scars. he thought as he stepped away from the door and curled up by the bath.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:39 am
Obie blinked in utter surprise as he shouted at her and didn't have time to react as he shoved her back out of the doorway. Flinching as the door slammed in her face, she just stood there, completely stunned.
He didn't want her to see him? But they had seen each other many times over. They knew each other's bodies well. In the glimpse of skin that she had caught before he pushed her out, nothing had seemed out of the ordinary.
"But love... I do want to see you," she said, amazed at the steadiness in her voice that didn't reflect the trembling she could start to feel in her hands. At the sound of shattering glass, she looked up sharply and threw the door open.
"Ra!" she cried out in a panic, her blue eyes quickly taking in the scene. Spying blood on the floor, she swallowed hard and looked at him hunched over on the floor by the bath. Now she was just plain terrified. Hurrying forward, thankful that she had left her shoes on, she quickly knelt down before him.
"Ne-chan please, you're scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong," she pleaded reaching out for his arms.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:04 pm
"Look at me." He sobbed, looking up at her and holding his hands out. "I'm so ugly." he sniffed and placed his head in his hands. "How much did they pay you?" He asked into his hands, wet tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. "To go out with me. I know it's a joke. Why else would you want me. I'm such a freak."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:19 pm
Obie just stared at him for a moment, finding herself completely lost for words. Was he serious? Giving her head a small shake, she moved closer to him and placed her hands on either side of his head in an attempt to ease it up so she could look at him.
"Ra-ne... how could you say that?" she asked softly. "Any of that? You are not ugly or a freak. And I'm actually a little insulted that you would even dare to think that my love and affection could be bought. Where on earth is this coming from?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:30 pm
"They did." He said, swallowing and looking up at her a little. The words rang in his head as clear as day. "After soccer, I heard them, calling me a freak, saying that you must be desperate to go out with me." He sniffed. and wiped his eyes with his hands. "They're right, I'm hideous. I don't understand why you want me." He sniffed again and ran his fingers though his hair. "I can't look in the mirror without hating myself again. Just when I had gotten over it."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:47 pm
Anger washed through her white hot and lightening fast. Swallowing it back, she looked away for a moment to rein in her temper, her eyes catching on the shattered mirror.
"Well... I don't think you'll have to worry about that too much now," she smiled lightly, attempting a bit of humor. Running her hand over his hair, she continued to smile, though slightly sadly. How could people be so cruel? Wiping his tears, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.
"Ra, I love you. All of you. I love everything about you and you -know- that I think you're gorgeous. Why would you even waste your time listening to a bunch of know nothing pricks?" she asked softly, pulling away to rise to her feet so she could get his first aid and take care of his feet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:57 pm
He took a deep breath and looked at where the mirror used to be. His eyes closed for a few moments, allowing him to be rational again. She was right, he did know and he was actiong like an idiot.
"Because it's always there." He said softly. "Naggging at the back of my head. The thought that I'm ugly, not good enough. All it takes is for someone to trip the switch and I start making things up in my mind. it grows big, no, huge and I can't look at myself because all I see is this repulsive person. Every part of me, not just my scars." He wiped his eyes again and sniffed as he watched her. "It's silly right, only girls think things like that?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 1:15 pm
Pulling out his kit as she listened to him, she returned to his side and carefully lifted one of his feet into her lap so she could check for any shards of glass still in it before cleaning it.
"No love," she said softly, shaking her head. "It's not silly, and girls are not the only ones that feel like that. Guys just think they're too macho to admit it to anyone though," she said, grabbing the tweezers and pulling a small piece of glass out. She fell silent for a moment as she concentrated on not hurting him, then grabbed some cotten to start cleaning up the small cuts.
"You know what I think? I think they're jealous," she smirked a little at the cliche line. "I mean... by normal standards, aka: their standards, you don't fit in with the ideal beauty and they think they do. So because they can't wrap their minds around the fact that you have a girlfriend who loves and cares about you regardless of how you look and they can't find anyone truly willing to put up with their facades and shitty personalities, they feel the need to lash out. They're just jealous because you're better than them, and they know it," she smiled and looked up at him as she reached for his other foot.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 1:33 pm
Ra smiled at her and winced as she pulled pieces of glass from his foot.
"It scares me when it gets like this." He said softly. "I can't get it out of my head." He sniffed and watched her. "I don't want to go back on the tablets and I don't want to go to see a shrink again. I thought I was over it." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Did I hurt you?" He asked as he leaned his head back on the cold bath. "I, I just wanted to spare you what I saw in the mirror."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
