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 Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 12:58 pm
Expectations
By Gaara is Smex
I'm being asked
To do it all
I try my best
I'm doomed to fall
And as they watch
They frown on me
They ask what's wrong
But fail to see
It's building up
I fall behind
I try and fail
To keep my mind
They still don't see
I'm at the edge
Still they push me
Over the ledge
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 5:39 am
Alittle too short and simple for my tastes. Not an entirely bad thing. Though, the problem I have with it being so short is that I also feel like it wasn't...Finished. Alot of the endings to the Stanza's seemed like they could've...maybe even should've went for longer.
Other then that, It was alright. Seemed like a poem I might've read in school when I was a child. Keep building.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:11 pm
You ended on a sad note. Short poems always interest me. You've done a good job so far. smile Sad, but often true.
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