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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 12:54 am
This is one of those age-old guy-girl, etc sort of things (I mean it's big with heterosexual couples, I'm not sure if this dilemma holds true a lot for the gay community but I strongly suspect it does).
So I'm in love with this guy, and we're trying our best to make things official n' all. Well lately his work is starting to take over, or at least it kind of feels that way. Like the other night we get off the phone right as he's about to go up to his apartment and he says we'll talk online. Well a half an hour passes, and I'm beginning to worry if he's ok (because going up a flight of stairs shouldn't take half an hour), well it turns out he was talking to his female roommate about their work, getting things in order for the next day.
Then tonight, the whole time we talk it's all about him, he's very talkative, even more so than usual. Which I didn't mind, but in retrospect another friend of mine pointed out, "did he even ask how you were?" and I realized the answer was... well... no. Then at the end of the combo he goes into a long explanation about all this stuff he has to do for work this and that, and how he's got to get up early in the morning. We get off the phone and he couldn't even tell the sadness and disappointment in my voice.
I mean on one hand I can't complain about his work. But lately I don't know how to explain it. He forgets to ask me how I'm doing, all the conversations seem to be about his misadventures and what not. I guess I don't feel that important. But if I tell him that I'm being selfish.
What should I do?
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:35 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:36 pm
I had a problem almost the same with my last boyfriend, only all the conversations with him where about his Kung Fu classes...and in the end it is what really drove us to breaking up.
Now I'm not trying to get you upset or anything by stating the outcome of my relationship with the ex, but really you should just tell him how you feel about the whole thing. I honestly believe that if I had done that I would still be together with my ex. And if you truely love eachother then it will all work out.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 8:30 am
Does he tell you you're being selfish when you tell him how you feel? Or are you just assuming this? If he is the one telling you you're selfish, I'd take it as a sign before pursuing this relationship. Communication is something that has to be established. If you haven't told him how you feel, it won't get resolved.
While love is good yes, it isn't enough on its own. Sit down and talk with him.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 9:03 pm
it was my feeling selfish. After some fighting we talked it out. I think in part I was so miffed because I felt like he was blaming a lot of things on work instead of taking responsibility for himself.
I just hope with this job the lure of making more money doesn't get to him too much.
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