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What about Mike's parents? Since you're living in their house, are they ok with adding a baby into the household?

What about diapers, doctor's visits, medical bills, or anything else to do with the pregnancy and the baby that may be covered by insurance? Babies are much more expensive than pets, and more demanding too I would imagine.

When you're pregnant, would you be getting a job to chip in too, or would Mike be the only breadwinner? What would you do for money if something happened with Mike's job and you two suddenly had no income?

What would happen if you and Mike split up during the pregnancy/after the baby was born? What about finances and living situations then?

I would say wait, personally. If your lives aren't "ready" for a baby (since as you said you'll probably never have a "perfect time" to have a baby), then wait and see if things improve. Not to mention that if you're getting married, why not getting married first and pay off those bills and then think about getting pregnant?

Pretty much agreed.

While yes, you do have a home with Mike's parents... it's Mike's parents' home.

Even though right now your bills are minimal and it seems like Mike makes a lot, trust me when I say you can't live on that.
My husband and I are Navy, and we make around the same you do. BUT with some major differences... for one, in ADDITION to what we make, we also get $1200 a month EXTRA for rent, and we have free health care and a car.
And let me tell you, it's not a lot of money, even with our rent paid for outside of our income.

Living in your in-laws house might work... I won't say it won't, but it's something you all need to discuss with THEM before you even make any plans. It is their house, and they may not want the partial responsibility of a grandchild living in their house. But, they may also be very pleased with the idea.

However, I'll be the first to tell you that it SUCKS to have family in the same house when you have a baby. They're going to be telling you what to do and what not to do, and it will drive you CRAZY... and since you're living under their roof, and they're paying the bills, you'll have to either suck it up or move out.. which at this point, you can't afford to do.

I would try to get a job, and see if Mike can't get a promotion. You're going to need more than two rooms, and you will HAVE to have a car. Also keep in mind that you'll lose your paycheck for a bit after you have the baby, so you've got to keep that in mind and save up for it, or make sure Mike makes enough to cover it.

I would love to tell you, "Go ahead! Kids are great!" But the fact of the matter is, you're not ready yet.

Even before I read the comments, we talked about it. A nice long conversation. And we both ended up agreeing on one answer. And I don't think that answer needs to be said because it's the answer you guys, me, and Mike think is best--to wait.

The great thing about college is that Mike gets complete reimbursment(sp)if he decides to go. He works at a college and he can take summer classes or take classes at an affiliated college(he works at an all-women college rofl )

And his spouse gets reimbursment, too! So, I'm going to look at the classes the college offers and take some summer classes next year and maybe start college for real. But I need to get my GED first, which I am starting in Janurary(I had to wait until I turned 18 and the new semester started).

As for wedding expenses...it's only a $200 wedding xd We're getting married at a courthouse which costs $100 and the license is $100 as well. My dress is a kimono which is already bought and I get to wear it next week to a ballet! So excited!

And we're NOT breaking up. Not now, not when I'm pregnant, not when I have a baby, not ever. ^_^

We've decided to wait until we both get a little more schooling but I found out one thing that might help me wait!

Babies!! Hehe, Alverno(the college where Mike works)is a nursing college. So, I am going to look at what you need in order to start working in the nursing field that deals with new borns! I'm assuming you need education in child devolpment and things like that so I'm going to look into that as soon as I'm done with Gaia(prolly 20 mins or less).

Oh and our pets are very demanding 3nodding

Our dog acts just like a child, and I kid you not. At least, he acts just like my cousin did. If you leave the room, he cries and whimpers(even barks but kids don't bark xd ). If you aren't giving him attention, he'll just cry for it. While it's not the same and he doesn't require as muchwork as a baby, the animals added up do.

We don't own a car because neither of us have a license.

Mike has his permit, though.

See, he moved up to MN with me but things bombed badly so we both moved here. He didn't get any driving experience up north stare Which is his fault.

I dropped out of High School(and I don't want to be pestered about this. I have to explain why to enough people and I'm done explaining. Short answer-I dropped out, found out AFTER that I couldn't go back[apparently the school system does that because it 'discourages people from dropping out' but no one learns about this until they try to go back]and that I had to wait to get my license till I was 18 because I dropped out). I turned 18 last month and there's no one who will teach me here because they're too busy teaching Mike.

But again, we've decided to wait and we're going to wait until we have enough schooling to get myself a good job and Mike a better one. But the insurence is sooo good at his job xD

Optimistic point of view, but s**t happens. Once you've experienced things in life, both positive and negative, things can change. Just be aware of it.




I will just say that I still think babies are harder and more demanding than any pet. Not to mention more expensive. Anything that's not covered by insurance, or anything you can't get help with, you pay for yourself. The delivery, rashes, infections, broken limbs, jaundice, etc.

Well put. While I absolutely love animals, and know how they can be members of the family... well, they're NOTHING compared to children.

I'm glad you guys came to the conclusion on your own to wait.

I know you said you're not taking the nursing course, and are doing vet instead, but I just want you to know that BOTH take a lot more than you probably think. It's medical school. So, 8+ years, and lots of money, time and stress. I'm not trying to discourage you from school by any means, but I just want to make sure you know that neither of these career paths are by any means easy or quick.

And as Nikolita said, don't assume you'll be together forever. To be honest, and I don't mean this as an insult, but... only kids say that.
As you get older, you will realize that stability now means NOTHING in the future. I know people who break up after months, and people who break up after decades. Hell, my dad had a college friend who was married for 27 years before he got divorced. You can't predict the future.

Oh, and BTW, no one cares if you dropped out of high school, as long as you get your GED. I'm not just talking us here, but colleges and jobs. Everyone pretends that a GED is crap compared to a diploma, but it's just not true. Real jobs don't give a s**t.
BTW, I only completed my Sophomore year and got my GED. wink I'm looking into a career in profiling, intelligence or cryptology for CIA, FBI or local police forces... because as long as I've got my GED, it doesn't matter.

@Savina:
I think I'm only going for vet assistant, nothing real big. And the money isn't an issue because, as I said, Mike gets complete reimbursment through his work so long as we have the money, we'll get paid back. He's going to bring information home on it, though.

As for the 'forever' thing. I know. I'm not as naieve as you may think. When living with my mom, everything went wrong and we ended up supporting her. Buying groceries, paying for the electric bill, good portion of the rent. And we, together, had alot of stress through it. He was gone for 12 hours a day because of a 2-hr bus ride each way to work so we hardly saw eachother. I got a job that didn't pay so great to help out with everything we were paying. It's not as if we're children and have led completely sheltered lives and only paid for our games, cell, and internet. We paid rent, paid for food, paid for electricity. We had no money to go out and buy anything for ourselves. We were putting my mother and step father up because my step father lost his job and my mom needs surgery. I felt guilty for buying shampoo or a t-shirt. We spent next to no money on ourselves. Top it off with a expensive vet bill for my bunny, we were broke.

Now we're finally begining to recover. Mike came up north with $2000 dollars and we left with $1000 and alot of debt to pay off. We owe my grandmother $60 for our internet and Mike's parents $500 or more for moving us. And my godmother $75 for gas when she moved Mike up north. We're not innocent or children. We figure if we lived through this, we'll manage to live through a few more years, if not more. I never said forever but Mike is the only person I've met I can rely on, no matter what. He's been there for me through alot. And he's put up with me for this long, so I'm not too worried.

I know no one cares about dropping out of school but alot of people do. They keep asking me why and even in GD, they do, it's so annoying and frustrating. At first, I didn't mind. But after explaining it for a 5th time to one single person, I got sick of it. Even though I told that person I'd get my GED as soon as I can(which, here, you need to be 1 cool that person didn't believe me at all. So I get horribly fristrated about it.

I hope everything works out for you with your career choice! Alot of great people make it into those places and I'm sure you're bound to be one of them. Don't give up!

@Harry_Manback:
First off, we decided to wait. I think you should read an entire thread before posting, not just the first post.

As for marriage...what does that have to do with having kids? Why do you need to be married to have kids? Personally, I can't stand people who think you should only have kids if you're married. Why commit your life to someone if you don't care for them, right? Just because you have kids, doesn't mean you love the person who fathered or mothered them.

Really, I know how hard the real world is. I haven't seen my father since I was 2 and he's hardly paid any childsupport. My mom was always strained for cash and I've never lived in a home of my own. And if you read higher up, eariler in this post, you'll see how hard my life was up north.

And what does having a house have to do with anything? Not everyone has a house when they have kids. I've never lived in a house, always an apartment. I don't think children are raised any better by living in a house.

I do not think that anyone said you actually have to own your own house, not an apartment or anything, before having a baby. I do, however, think that you should have some place of your own, could be an apartment, trailer, house, whatever, rather than having a baby in Mike's parents basement that you don't even pay rent for. (I know you said you are waiting, I just thought I would address the house issue). Living in Mom and Dad's basement rent free because you can't afford a place of your own (whatever that place may be) is not a good sign that you are ready for a baby. You should probably be able to stand on your on two feet for the most part before trying to get pregnant. I am not saying you have to be rich, but yes, I do think you should be able to pay your own rent, house payment, whatever. Babies are very expensive. If you can't afford rent, you probably can't afford a baby. I do not see living in Mom and Dad's basement rent free as being at a mature or stable time of your life for most people. I think babies deserve better than that. Do you honestly see nothing wrong with having a baby on purpose when you can't even pay any bills? When you live in a basement for free? When you don't make any money, and your boyfriend does not make much? I am not even going to count your $13 or whatever a month for xbox as a bill. Those are like your average 15-year-old's bills. I am not saying that adults can't have those bills, I am just saying they have them in addition to at least some of the following rent, car payment, mortgage, car insurance, taxes on the house, electricity, gas for the car, gas for the house. Having paid those bills in the past does not mean jack right now. You try telling your kid, "Well, I had enough money once," when you can't send him to college, or take him to the doctor, or when you get kicked out because people are sick of supporting you. I am not trying to be mean about it. I just think babies deserve so much more than you can offer one right now.