Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hey, we see the stuff people think they need to work on, but do any of you out there have a piece that you've decided is 'done'? No more, you're fed up, it's as good as it's gonna get? wink I'd love to read some finished pieces, and to hear why you like them.

Hm...well, I have this one on my website that's been workshopped and revised, so it's pretty much as done as it's ever going to be. I don't really like it as well as some of my other stuff though, so I just threw it online rather than trying to do anything else with it.

I have several stories where I have a finished draft, but they're all stuck somewhere in the revision process. sweatdrop

I guess I can offer up this. I don't think I should post it here though... it's pretty long ^^;

*l* Alright then, I have a short one that I wrote a while ago that I really like wink

5 fruit flavors
living in a bowl
cherry, lemon, grape and lime
and one small tomato
Who’s red flesh stands out
as the most easily bruised




It's short, but it's tight. Which is the way short poems have to be, I suppose.

It's peppy at first. Misleading, if you will.

Then you hit the third line, and you think, wait a second, what's this?

And then it takes you straight into the 'insight' if you'll allow me to be so bold as to call it that. Which slows you down and makes you stop. If only for a second.

That one second pause is all that I aim for in my poetry, and here, I think I did it. wink

**EDIT**
I wanted to add that I like the imagery as well: five fruit flavors sounds like advertising, and the list of fruits I give after that is expected. But the tomato isn't, you don't typically think of it as a fruit, and then the thought that it might feel left out, 'easily bruised' because of that.... well, really it's just an angst poem in disguise! That's why it's so much fun! ;D

I have some that are finished - I don't consider them done though since I need to dosome final revising and editing on them.

^^;