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 Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 7:20 pm
Bryce carefully snuck back into the herds territory. It was getting risky, going out every other night ot so, and he still wasn't completely convinced that the other deer didn't suspect something.
What's the point anyway? he thought sadly, laying down with a thud. It was Anlatch, and there was only one hind he desired: Dorcheira. But how could he woo her? He was unable to sire, he was once Sgorrla, he was ugly, his antlers had long gone since back and most of all; he was dead. He knew Herne had cursed him to never rest, but did he desurve to never love as well?
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:39 pm
From between the shadow of two tall pines, bright green eyes watched the dead stag as he snuck around. So careful, so catious...the way his eyes moved, darting, furtive. He was doing his utmost not to be seen, that much Envy could tell. But why? Here, this place where they were was near the edge of the land the fallen had claimed as theirs. And, from the direction the fallen stag had come, Envy could guess that it was from outside. He knew of course, that some of the fallen enjoyed going into the places of the living. No, perhaps enjoyed was the wrong word. But, for certain there were some that went there more than others, Lust, to tease the bucks and lead them to their deaths, Wrath...well, Envy generally stayed out of the way of that one. He also brought death to the living. And what of this stag then? What was he doing out their? The small calf's eyes narrowed, mind calculating the possibilities. Whatever it was though, the stag obviously didn't want to be seen. Why though? None of the fallen cared when one of their rank went out to torment or even just, as Envy often did, to watch the living. So why was this one so afraid of being caught...?
Finding no immediate solution to his question, the green body made it's way out of it's own little hiding spot, coming to stop in front of the other stag who was now lying down dejectedly. Curious about the strange coming and goings of this one, Envy spoke. "Curious manner to take a walk, sulking about as if you were a shadow. Why? Do you fear something? Death, maybe?" He gave a cold laugh, his voice, although light, had something of a sinister and mocking undertone. But truly, he was curious as to where could be so important to this stag...
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:35 pm
Bryce about choked on his own gasp when he heard the calf. He quietly sighed with relief, only the child. What was his name again?
" True death would be a relief, young one, not something to fear," Bryce replied in a bittersweet manner." As for fear....." Bryce's glowing eyes dimmed slightly," I only fear I will 'live' this way for eternity." Hollow, empty, and alone...... he thought.
The boy would be too young to understand the ache of his still beating heart. " Though, if you don't mind my asking, why do you wish know?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:15 am
Envy gave what could be taken as an agreeable shrug as the stag echoed the fears of all the fallen. Strange, to think that they lived wishing to die, while other creatures fought desperately for whatever life they could salvage. But then again, this existence, could not really be classified as life. After all, they did not breathe, eat, drink, or sleep. They simply existed, bodies risen on a single, driving emotion. It was a little depressing, though they had all come to accept it. Envy was a little dissapointed as he did not elicit some rise of anger out of the stag, but no matter, perhaps he might carry on an actual conversation for once. He was sorely lacking in those.
"Why do I ask? How could I not? You do look very suspicious, sneaking around like you have something to hide, which I don't doubt you do. Coming back into the herdlands in the dead of the night when you're sure no one's watching?" He waited for his words to take effect on the stag, wondering if the other really cared that much about something. "Anyways, he continued. I was curious. It's not as if this place is bountiful with anything of interest."
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:16 pm
Bryce felt a chill run through his veins; so the child did suspect something. As he wondered wether or not the calf would tell, his panic turned instead to a sort of smothered, dull, resentment. Not so much at the boy, but rather what he had been forced to become. " I'm not like you," He exhaled, softly," I- I didn't deserve this. I tried to do the right thing," He was vaughly aware how stupid and pitiful he must have sounded, but it was too late to shut up now," Sgorr should be here, not me. I don't have to live like this!" Then his uncharacteristic self-defence failed him once more. He resumed his submissive posture, and took again his role of the supposed coward.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:37 am
Not like him? Didn't deserve this? Envy cast his eyes downward, feeling once again, that sickening twist in the pit in his stomach. That feeling...the longing, the jealousy, the envy...He snarled quietly. That was a laugh, the stag didn't deserve it? He looked up, at the stag. "You don't deserve this?" He echoed softly. "You aren't like me? What is this you say? If not you, then who? Sgorr? Sgorr it's true, was evil. But look at you. You were his follower were you not? Letting him lead you to murder anything he desired, though you knew it was wrong, you did it still. Are you really that much better than him?"
He paused as the stag continued, and looked away, flashes of anger playing themselves out inside the tiny skull of the calf. Not anger directed towards the stag, more just anger for existence, anger for being here, being this, anger for the sin that cursed him. He had done no wrong either, and yet it plauged him still, that feeling. How could this stag say he didn't deserve it? They were all here, for whatever reason. "You tried to do the right thing? But you're here now aren't you? All of us...not all the fallen were evil you know, not all of us were cursed by the consequences of our actions. Our feelings, they rise by themselves." Then, perhaps that in itself was the true evil in it all? Maybe that was all they were now. Feelings, merely shadows of the former self, not truely a creature that once enjoyed the intangible thing called life. Envy lowered himself to the ground near the stag, curious for once. "You say you tried to do right...what is your story?"
For once the calf was truely curious, not because the stag claimed he didn't deserve the living death, but because he remembered all of his former self. Envy, he had forgotten. His memories were blurs, brief flashes of pain that he ran from. This other stag...what wrong had he commited?
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:23 pm
" If you keep up with the happenings of the living, then maybe you know about Rannoch. He resently left to join Herne and Starbuck, but did much while he was alive. This took place before he overthrew Sgorr.
" We were ordered to begin the 'Cleansing', or killing off all lera. This was supposed to help the herla; it would give us more space to live and eat, and would eleminate our predators. We were taught lera were dumb, unfeeling brutes. Naturaly, we believed him.
" I was ambitious, and eager to prove my worth to the herd. I hadn't gotten far when I made my first and only kill, a fox. His mate must have been a speaker, she screamed at me in her fury. Yes--- the lera spoke and much more, of her love for the one I killed and how I had condemed her kits as well.
" I never thought of lera as intellegent beings before, and suddenly, it felt as terrible as if I had murdered a fellow deer. I ran to tell my 'master' of my discovery. He assured me he'd take my information to heart and think his plans over. I thanked him because I trusted him, what reason had I not to? He was my lord and had my love and my loyalty," Bryce's voice faltered," Apparently, he didn't feel the same way. He betrade me and ordered my execution." He looked Envy directly in the eye," And so I lay before you."
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:38 pm
Interesting, the story this stag wove. Envy listened intently, intruiged. However, he couldn't appear too interested, and so he adopted the look that he used with most of the fallen. A sort of apathetic expression that gave him the appearance of being a little less than caring. After all, he did not trust them, he was unsure of what their reactions would be to him if he dared show any substantial emotion. But this one...the calf looked up, for the first time showing something more than apathy to another. This stag was a little different than the rest. There was something about him. And though the calf felt a lurch of envy as he listened to him, he realized why this time. Usually, his envy came without reason, without cause. The fact that he knew why he was envious of this one was, not a comfort, but something stable, something that was there due to rational explaination. And that in itself made Envy have a little more respect towards this one, even if he was perhaps a little too caught up with his former life. How could envy blame him?
He spoke slowly at the end, unsure of how to put into words what he knew, yet feeling at the same time that it was safe to tell this stag. Not that he felt safer around this stag, well, maybe he did. Because he finally understood what it was about this stag that fed his envy, unlike the others, who were puzzles that Envy could not comprehend. "In you, more so than any of the walking dead I have seen, there is something else. Something that, in any other world than ours might be considered as life. Of course, that is not it, and yet you are so much more connected to their world than I, or the others. And you lack the hatred towards the living that so many of us feel. It is strange, is it not, that although you were a victim of a terrible betrayal you still can describe this love the fox spoke to you of as if it was not so far off. Your anger, I see, did not consume you as it did many of us. But still, I suppose that proves what I had guessed before. Herne has no sympathy, feels nothing for us. We are his pawns, toys in a cruel game he has set out. Forsaken to him, and cast out upon this earth, where constant reminders of what we do not have are everywhere." Envy's little voice suddenly became darker as he spoke of their so called god. "He is a despicable entity."
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:32 am
Bryce's 'eyes' dimmed. " I know little of Herne," he said," We were forbidden to talk about him." He gave a bitter bark of laughter (which sounded more like a cough)," As for speaking of love....." he pondered whether or not he should tell the calf, though he burned to confess his secret to someone," I believe it is part of my curse to know love, just as the fox did, and never have it returned," here his voice faultered," There----there is a hind, in the Firebringer herd; her name is Dorcheira. I have never felt anything like what I feel for her. But, naturaly, she does not love me." He sighed," That is where and why I go."
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 7:42 pm
Forbidden to speak of Herne? Envy nodded. Yes, that made sense. To Sgorr, Herne would have been foolishness, or a threat, that could have drawn his sgorrla away from him. That came as no surprise to the calf. However...the green tinged ears perked up, the calf listening more intently now as the stag spoke of his unrequited love. For a hind. A living, breathing hind. He was shocked, and, for a moment, could do nothing but blink rapidly as he tried to absorb this information. Bryce loved a mortal. Love...at that word, a fierce feeling coursed through the small one's body, intense, like a fire. It was painful, so painful to think about, to painful to dream about. An emotion Envy had cast out as nonsense, whimsical and unessecary. After all, who would love him? Of course, the type of love he was concerned with was different than that of Bryce. Bryce needed a mate, another being to share his life with. Envy needed something else. Envy wanted a mother, a mother like he had never had in life, one that would care for him, protect him, love him.
"Then," he said slowly, "you and I are almost alike. In what we desire, in what we need. This hind. She knows you? You have, spoken to her? She has seen you? What you are? And...she does not fear you...?" It seemed, almost to perfect to believe. A hind, a real one, that had seen one of the fallen and not been disgusted or afraid. Something that he had locked away so long ago he was sure that it no longer existed inside him awoke in Envy. What was it? This strange feeling that swept him up? No, he knew what it was. Hope. Hope was what they called it...
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Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:43 am
Bryce nodded," I have spoken with her, she does not fear us. Well, not any longer. Our first encounter was...... interesting, to say the least," his heart fluttered for a moment," She is not well excepted by her herd; she is seen as excentric, antisocial, and at times has a sharp tounge. But despite all her faults, she looks not at flesh (or lack of) when judging a being. As a matter of fact, her best friend is a fox," Bryce gave a slight shake as he thought of the vixen, her eyes burned a hole in him not unlike the one he met during life...." As open minded as she is, she could never love me. The worst is, she wants to have children, and I cannot sire. I thought that perhaps if she met a stag that would agree to give her the chance to have a calf or two, she would then accept me. However, last Anlatch was unsuccesful. I fear I am forcing my curse on her aswell. There's no proof of course, but..."
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