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Her skills at each stage have been revamped, and a new concept is at the bottom, placing her in a different time period. All comments and critiques are greatly appreciated. Thanks!!

[1] Intro/Welcome
[2] Information/World
[3] The Character
[4] The Talent
[5] Other

Welcome! Critiques are loved!!

Character name: Donovan
Nickname/Stage name: Don, Donny / --
Meaning: --

Gender: Female
Age: 18.
Hair color: A dusty, sandy color blonde, with some natural sun-induced hilights
Eye Color: The left is a deep brown, the right a deep blue. Her mismatched eyes had been a constant sore spot for her.
Nationality: British-American
Heirtage: High class
Appearance: Aound 5'6". She's very slim and rather flat-chested. Her sandy hair is straight and has been hacked into a short cut that often hangs in her eyes. She has a striking face with high cheekbones. She has somewhat large feet and hands. She can be easily mistaken for a boy.
Sexual Preferance: Men.

Personality: Donny is well, interesting. She has been brought up well, and is well educated, but she prefers not to show it. She has an extreme inferiority complex and thinks herself very unnatractive. She is a hopeless romantic, another thing she keeps under wraps. She longs desperately for attention, and as such, puts on a brave face, forcing herself to be outgoing and tough.
She immediately dislikes attractive women (see history) and prefers the company of guys, who she is more comfortable around. She is most comfortable around anything mechanical, and she has a fondness for dogs.
She lives for thrill. She loves the feeling of doing something extremely dangerous, and thus is pretty much willing to try anything, even if the morals she was raised with screams against it.

Interest: Anything mechanic, motorbikes, the Circus, liquor, music.
Hobbies: Playing the harmonica, fixing and toying with things that tick, motorbike riding.
Talent: An innate high pain tolerance.
Weaknesses:
1. Men. Donny has a thing for older men. Especially the bad boy type, or the complete opposite, the gentleman. She longs to meet the perfect guy who she has envisioned in her head.
2. Alcohol. Ever since she found the stuff, she can't stop herself. She won't ride a bike after drinking, though. She learned that the hard way, earning her a nice scar on her right leg.
3. Her family. Don't ask about or mention them.
4. Her appearance. Donny finds herself very unnatractive, but has come to terms with it. She thus adds to her "rough" appearance by keeping her hair a mess, allowing her skin to be tanned by the sun, and subjecting her skin to tattoos.


History: Donvan was born Danielle Allenby Williams, the fourth daughter of a very wealthy Boston businessman Richard Williams. Danielle had three older sisters, Abigail, Elizabeth, and Carolina, all of whom took after their mother, Isabelle. Isabelle was considered one of the most beautiful women in New York, with a full, feminine figure, ivory skin, curly black hair and stunning blue eyes. She was well sought after by bachelors, but married a man with average looks but a lot of money and passion. The three eldest daughters inherited their mother's looks, but Danielle, the youngest, took after her father, height, build, and all. The only thing Danielle didn't inheret completely from her father was the color of her right eye. Her left was a dark brown like her father's, but her right was blue, like her mothers. These mismatched eyes seemed taboo and was the first sign that Danielle didn't fit in with her sisters.

Danielle grew up with the same privilages and education as her older sisters. But while her sisters excelled at their education into fine young ladies, Danielle just couldn't do it. She was clumsy and awkward. Her sisters were popular with everyone, first as adorable children, and then as beautiful young women. They were showered with attention, while Danielle, try as she may, just couldn't seem to measure up. And yet Danielle tried and tried until her 14th birthday.

It may seem trivial to outsiders, but Danielle cherished her birthday. It was the one day that her parents focused on her. On her 14th birthday however, Danielle's older sister, Carolina had her coming out party arriving soon. In their haste to present Carolina, Danielle's parents forgot her birthday. On that very day, Danielle decided she didn't care anymore. She hacked her dirty-blonde hair off, much to the dismay of her mother and began wearing boys' clothing. Despite all of her parents attempts to get her to act like a young lady, Danielle refused and continued to rebel against her parents, one day deciding to get a tattoo that ran across the front of her chest around her left arm. Her father, furious, slapped her for the first and only time in her life.

That was the final straw. Danielle ran away to New York as a boy, Donovan, a name she chose simply because she liked the way it sounded, and was soon adopted into a small group of orphans who would test dangerous machinery and equipment for factories. During this period in her life, Danielle found that she had a knack for machinery. She began to take apart and put back together anything she could get her hands on. A rich New York bachelor had just purchased a motorbike, a rare machine at the time and had wrecked it, trying to show off to some ladies. Danielle stole the pieces and somehow rebuilt it, becoming famous in her own little way in New York. She dubbed the bike The Wanderer and with many months' practice, learned to ride it, even learning tricks, like small jumps a wheelies. People began to hear of the young boy with the funny-colored eyes who could ride so well. Donny, surprised at the market for her performances, adored the attention and began to put on shows. New York was a dangerous town for a solo performer however, so Donny sought out the circus as a means for protection, as well as for the company she so desperately wanted.

[1] Intro/Welcome
[2] Information/World
[3] The Character
[4] The Talent
[5] Other

Alright well ... Her world description could be a little ... more? Sure we know what turn of the century is, but not many other people do. Describe the look and feel, what was big then, what was happening to make this time stand out?

Her stage name could use a lot of work ... I mean ... Is it the Amazing Donny? Either way it's not something I would get excited over if someone said, "Hey you wanna go see that Donny show?". Name is part of the hype, and you're a product the Cirque needs to sell. There are a few spelling/grammar errors throughout, so you might want to get that checked ... Her personality's not bad, but I'd like to see something more. So far I'm only seeing some basic things that regular adolescents go through. What really makes her pop?

I'm not sure I understand her talent, or her skills. What is she bringing to the Cirque? There absolutely needs to be some form of an essence to her. High pain tolerance, well we have a few of those, you need to have it to do half the tricks dreamed of or currently performed here. Get really into it, think hard and long on a bizarre skill and take it to the next level. I know trick riding is pretty cool but the one-liners are a little too vague. What does she do to make them hers?

I feel I need to ask, as a higher class how on earth did she learn to use tools or anything? I mean most ladies that are in the midst of being raised don't have crazy tantrums and take it out on their body other than purging or binging. Sure there might've been some events that led up to it but it really seems out of nowhere that she'd just BAM go do that. Is she a drama queen perhaps? There are lots of different ways you can take that. Her history seems to lack explanations ... There had to've been more specific events than what you've listed that affects her behaviour in the past, today, and her decisions.

I hope that was okay, I don't mean to offend!

APPROVED

World Type: A
Los Angeles, CA, 2007

Character name: Jimi Aretha Miller
Nickname/Stage name: Jim, Jimbo / Jimi the Motorcycle Guru (Gah, forgive me, the stagename is still a work in progress.)
Meaning: --

Gender: Female
Age: 19.
Hair color: Originally, a medium dusty brown. At the moment, her hair is dark brown on the bottom layers, and a light platinum blonde on top.
Eye Color: Her eyes are naturally dark brown. She likes to experiment with color contacts, though.
Nationality: Part Native American, part Italian, part German, and a lot of other nationalities mixed in.
Heritage: Lower middle class
Appearance: Jimi stands at 5’7”. She has a voluptuous, but muscular figure. When she was younger, she was on the chubby side, which was a source of constant embarrassment. She still retained some of that baby fat, but in the right places, giving her a rather curvy figure. Years of work as a mechanic, however, has given her muscle as well. She has a very feminine, but tough face, with lovely dark eyes, long lashes, a pert nose, full lips and a stubborn chin. She has gone through so many hairstyles and colors she herself cannot remember what her natural hair color is. At the moment, she wears her long, straight/wavy hair in a feathery layered style; the bottom layers a dark brown, the top a platinum blonde color.
Tattoos and piercings: Jimi has five piercings in her left ear and three in her right. She has a small stud on the left side of her nose, and her belly button is pierced as well. She had her right eyebrow pierced at one time, but it became infected and she had to take it out. Dylan has a number of tattoos and is likely to get even more during her lifetime. At the moment she has a design of tribal symbols, roses and skulls on her lower back, the Chinese letters for “Inner Peace” on the back of her neck, just below the hair line, a koi fish on her left ankle, and a barcode on her right wrist.
Sexual Preference: Men.

Personality: Having been raised for the majority of her life by her “free spirit” uncle and her tough biker guy dad, though, she is an eclectic mix of the two. Jimi would likely fall into the category of the neo-hippie. She possesses a love of folk, psychedelic, and classic rock music, as well as reggae and some rap. She’s a tough sort, having grown up in a male-dominated industry, and won’t take s**t from anyone. Deep down, she hates fighting, but she never wants people to see her as weak or dependent on others.
She is very caring and loyal when it comes to people she cares about. She’d do anything for her dad, her uncle, or her close friends, which has put her in some interesting situations. Jimi loves her job as a mechanic, but longs for the freedom of the open road.

Interests: Motorcycles, cars, traveling, music
Hobbies: Riding her motorcycle, playing the harmonica and the electric bass, partying, drinking, concerts, dangerous and stupid stunts.
Talent: A natural sense of balance.
Weaknesses:
1. Dyslexia. Jimi has a bad case of Dyslexia, meaning she mixes number and letters in her head. Thus, reading and math have always been problems for her. Rather than admitting her problem to teachers and counselers, she preferred to “keep her dignity” and go through school as a C- student.
2. Alcohol. Ever since she found the stuff, she can't stop herself. Her uncle and her father really don’t care, just as long as she doesn’t get caught. She won't ride a bike after drinking, though. She learned that the hard way, earning her a nice scar on her right leg.
3. Adrenaline. She lives for dangerous stunts. Jimi loves to be in the spotlight and is willing to do crazy and often dangerous acts to get attention. However, she does stunts on her bike and in cars more for the thrill than the attention.
4. Drugs. Jimi started smoking cigarettes her freshman year of high school as a way to deal with the stress that her reading problems gave her. She soon turned to harder substances. At the end of her senior year, a friend of hers died from a cocaine/heroin overdose. Jimi made the decision to drop her addiction to cocaine and checked herself into rehab for a month. She has since been clean for nearly four months, but still gets fidgety around the mention or use of drugs, leading her to a quick temper surrounding the subject. She still smokes cigarettes though.

History: Jimi was born Danielle Aretha Miller on August 1, 1987 to William “Mac” Miller and Diana Elizabeth Cheswick. Diana was the daughter of a wealthy southern couple who expected their daughter to marry some wealthy businessman. Instead, she fell in love with the rugged bad-boy mechanic Mac Miller. They had only been dating for five months when they hastily eloped. They told friend and family that it was true love, when in fact, Diana was pregnant. For people who knew the couple, it was not a question of if they’d divorce; it was a question of when. The two were just too different. Mac always wanted to be out, either partying or working, while Diana wanted stability, a beautiful house, and plenty of money to buy shoes and clothes. In the summer of ’87, Danielle was born, and the following year came another daughter, Elizabeth or Lizzie. The two girls reflected the differences between their parents, in both appearance and demeanor. Danielle had inherited her mom’s dark hair, but that was about it. She had her father’s dark eyes, tan skin, and playful yet laidback demeanor, while Lizzie was blonde, after her dad, but with blue eyes, fair skin, slim frame and quiet nature.

Having been a beauty pageant queen twice, Diana pushed both of her daughters to follow in her footsteps, starting with Danielle. Danielle’s experience there was a disaster, one she refuses to speak about. After that sordid affair, Diana turned to her younger daughter, whose light blonde curls, slim frame, and bright blue eyes won the attention and affection of everyone they knew.

Despite Diana and Mac’s constant quarrelling, they managed to stay together for eight year before the marriage ended in a bitter divorce. As was expected, Diana got the house, most of the money and her younger daughter. Mac happily took Danielle and moved out to Los Angeles to live with his hippie brother, Benny. Mac soon got a job at a local garage and within a year, purchased the garage when the owner was ready to retire. Mac, Benny and Danielle later moved into the spacious apartment above the garage where the family still resides. The final major change came about two weeks after Mac and his daughter had moved. One day, Mac turned to his daughter and asked her an odd question. Did she like her name? Danielle quickly answered that she had always hated it. Mac grinned and told his young daughter that as her mother had given her that name, that she was free to pick her own name. Danielle thought for a moment and turned to her uncle.
“Hey, Uncle Benny, who was that we were listening to yesterday?”
Benny grinned at his young niece.
“That was Hendrix, little dude. Jimi Hendrix.”
Danielle turned to her dad.
“Well then, I wanna be called Jimi.”

Jimi grew up, excelling at work in her dad’s garage, and struggling at the local public schools. She was on very thin ice all throughout high school due to numerous suspensions. It seemed she was getting in trouble every week from fighting, swearing, or some prank. Her dad pleaded with her to at least graduate. Grudgingly, Jimi worked hard her senior year and managed to get her diploma. As a reward, Mac allowed Jimi to get her motorcycle license and got her her own motorcycle, a custom streetbike, which became her baby. She also owns a beat up 1967 Volkswagen Microbus, though she prefers driving the motorcycle.

A month or so after graduation, Jimi didn’t know what to do with herself. Sure, she had the job at the garage, but now that she had graduated, she wanted to do something new. So, she took her bike and left to find someplace she could work on her trick riding.