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I have been steadily losing weight...which is both cool and scary at the same time 'cause I'm not really doing anything to lose the weight other than being stressed out and runnin' around after children *I can wind up taking care of anywhere between 2-7 children, depending on the day*.

But just because I'm a smaller version of myself doesn't mean that I don't still deal with the 'big girl' stigma. My self esteem goes up and down, depending on the day/my frame of mind, especially since I've been actively dating...even though the fella I'm seein' likes my added padding, I still feel embarassed of the flaws that I have...and sometimes I don't feel very attractive sweatdrop

But my friend, who is larger than myself, seems to think that it's easy for me to get a guy....and that I should no longer have bad self esteem. I tell her that there are lots of guys who like bigger girlies, and I was just fortunate to find someone who likes my plushyness, but that it wasn't exactly easy for me to find someone and that I still have reservations about my appearance....but because I'm smaller than her, she seems to think I should have nothing to complain about, and because I'm smaller than she is that I have guys eating out of the palm of my hand, which isn't the case. It took me a good long while to find someone who was willin' to date me, but she doesn't seem to believe me sweatdrop

I really do not like being dismissed when I'm havin' a bad self esteem day because she thinks I should have nothing to complain about. Dating is NOT easier for me because I'm smaller, because to other people's standards *as well as my own* I am still big.

So...

Do you have someone who dismisses your feelings because she/he thinks they have it harder than you?

Have you lost weight but still have the big girl/big boy stigma?

Have you been able to get over your own issues with your self esteem?

Are you dating? If so...have you managed to find someone who respects your size or have you been havin' difficulty finding someone who can appreciate every aspect of you?

Do you try and dismiss your friends if they complain about their weight?

Discuss! *hands everyone a cookie* biggrin

Oh...and just cause I can...*glomps Inscriven* heart 4laugh

Yes he certainly is 3nodding whee He was nice and bought me my purty gown, so he's deserving of the glompage 3nodding

Don't be jealous...*pets*

I didn't lose this weight because I was trying either! I'd still be the same size I was if I didn't go through hell on earth this year sweatdrop

Why do you wonder why you're there...?

I usually gain like ******** when I'm stressed...but apparently, I've never dealt w/ this degree of stress. When I broke up with my ex, I was basically starving for 3 weeks cause I couldn't eat...every time I'd try, I'd throw it up sweatdrop Multivitamins and whatever food I could keep down were what kept me going.

I have always been one of the bigger girls whom I know.

It was more my confidence that allowed me to get him, though.

Most girls don't get your size doesn't matter half as much as your confidence, and that drives me crazy. If you don't like yourself, nobody else will like you.

Hrm, I seem to be more violent and less understanding tonight. I'd just want to slap somebody and tell them to shut up and open their eyes if they tried telling me that sweatdrop

But yes, I've managed to find somebody:

And it's pretty obvious I have chubby cheeks.

Personally, I'd much rather have a fantastic guy who can love me despite my weight. Not one who only likes me for my looks. If he can't see that I'm a fantastic individual, ******** him, I don't need him. I'm waiting for my Mr. Right. Luckily, I have found hime :3

When I say despite, I mean my weight isn't a factor in how they find me attractive. I'm not the best ever at using my english language the way everyone else does, though xp

If I was physically unappealing to somebody, our relationship wouldn't work because they wouldn't care to touch me all that much. I would not stay in a relationship where I felt unappealing. And it wouldn't be the romantic sort of love I'm looking for. I believe you can have love and romance without physical touch (for most of the year my boyfriend and I don't even see one another), but it's very hard if it's a constant thing when you see your partner day in and day out. Both people have to be on the same level. It's more of an equal low sex drive, rather than finding your partner unattractive.

If somebody only considers dating me for my looks, because I'm skinny or fat, I don't want to be with them either. I'm not always going to look this way, and I want them to love me for my personality above all. I don't want to bother judging myself and worrying about my partner's love for me from what a scale or a measuring tape tells me. Yeah, I want my partner to find me attractive, which he does, but he fell in love with me for my personality.

Typically two people that fall in love with one another's personalities tend to rate one another higher in attractiveness than they would had they not already gotten to know the person when they finally see them.

It will take some time for you to fully accept your new body. Even though I'm a lot less than I was, I still see my imperfections when I look in the mirror sweatdrop

*holds up a big sign that says "Yay confidence!"*

I always figured it tapped into their "Me man, me take care of woman. Me bring home food, make family survive. Woman eat bread, man eat meat. Must kill things and cook outdoors." mentality.