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 Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 6:14 pm
I grew in a Christian home, but I've been a Christian for less than two years now. Many factors around my life made me have a long stage of homosexuality, but now I consider myself bisexual, at my 18. I've always had problems with lust after I was 7 years, where I was raped by one of my friends.
During my first year as a Christian, I had an incredibly strong, intimate relationship with God. I was in a Christian school, too, and I was really active in preaching, teaching others, serving, etc. But after I finished highschool, it's like if my whole life has changed again. I don't have such a strong bond with God anymore, and sometimes I fall into "spiritual death" situations that last from a day to even a week.
During those days of being "spiritually dead," there is no contact with God's Word or prayers, and most of the time it's only me surrendering to pornography, masturbation, and lusting after others. It's really sad, considering how close I used to be with God... and I try for that to happen again, but soon I fall once more into a "spiritual death" time.
It's like if lust was too much for me to handle, and it is I guess. So many people see me as an "example," yet they don't know my actual struggles... they don't know it's like if I was living a double life. I feel as a hypocrite, and even though I've prayed and prayed, and asked others to pray for God to surrender my heart to Him and to give me victory over lust, it seems He says "No."
What can I do? A part of me really wants to be close to God... really desires to serve Him, but another part wants to follow lust, because sexual related stuff ARE indeed really pleasurable. It's hard for me to couple on these things...
What can I do? What should I do? Any advice?
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:48 pm
Well, I assume that you have not read the masturbation thread.
You are not the only one that has a problem with pornography and masturbation. I can honestly say that I have been struggling over this problem for years, so I know exactly how you feel. I have neglected to visit this guild lately, but I know why I was destined to look in here today.
I believe that God works through you and in you in every situation. I have been neglecting him lately and I am also someone that people look to as an "example." God knows that I want to grow closer to him, but there are things blocking that relationship every day.
I was clean from pornography and masturbation (I guess i'll just refer to one of those because they come hand in hand when one happens) for about 2 months, but temptation got to me and I broke down only days ago. I am ashamed, but I know that things will get better and have been. The best thing to do when you have those temptations is to call someone, play some video games (Preferrably online, it amuses you for much longer), or anything else that will keep your mind away from your temptations.
I failed to do that and caved. The only thing that kept me from caving months ago was my video games and friends.
Just go on Gaia and find some people to talk to when you are tempted.
I may not be on all of the time, but when you are tempted, just PM me or come back here. Talking about these things normally diswades a person from doing the act out of shame.
Those are the best suggestions that I have right now and trust me, at least one will work if you truly try. wink
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 3:27 am
www.xxxchurch.com is a great place for any Christian who deals with porn, sex or masturbation
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 5:47 am
This place has helped me alot. Before this I used to struggle with alot of things that weighed heavy on my heart. Read through some of these articles and you might find yourself feeling better. Click
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:11 pm
Remember that other part of u is the flesh! the good part is the Holy spirit!
This is where u r goin to have to be willing to take a decision.
is either God's path or the worlds path
I know is hard ive been throught that phase sad ( i was stuck there for quite a while sweatdrop . I had to repeat the process of new life all over again)
if u feel like God is not listening is because ur letting the flesh get a hold of u and by letting it get a hold of u, u keep walking away from God sad
U need to seek his word every day to make ur holy spirit stronger
Resist the devil and he will run!
if u have any other concerns or questions feel to tell me 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 6:18 pm
"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law."
-Paul the Apostle, Galatians 5:16-18
If you can just manage to live by the Spirit, and let it live inside of you, then you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature, because the Spirit is contrary to the sinful nature. If the Spirit abides in you, then you will be able to resist the desires and temptations of your flesh.
I understand that you have trouble with doing that, though. You have sequences of spiritual death, during whcih you don't read His Word, or pray. But those two things, as you may know, are essential to a relationship with God. So what you need to do is push yourself, I mean really push yourself, to commit to reading the bible everyday. And don't think it has to be a lot, but the more, the better, I would say. And then when you're done, simply pray to God - talk with Him; tell Him what's on your mind, and pour your heart out. Reading the Bible helps out immensly. You probably know this. And whenever I don't read my bible for just a day, and don't spend time with God, I begin to experience the same spiritual death. Because in order to maintain a relationship with anyone, you have to spend time with him. The same goes with God. And when you stop communicating with any person, your relationship begins to fade away and die. For example, I used to be BEST friends with a guy named Alex all the way through elementary school and middle school, but then in highschool, when I found other friends, I started talking with him less, and we stopped hanging out, and now . . . we don't even say "hey" to eachother in the halls. The same thing goes with your relationship with God: if you don't listen to what He says (reading the bible) and if you don't talk with Him (praying), then your relationship with slowly (or perhaps quickly) fade away and die. That's the scariest thing that I could ever think of happening to me.
So once you are dived into God's word and prayer, your faith will increase. And when that happens, you can complete your faith through actions.
"But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds."
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder.
You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believe God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone."
-James 2:18-24
I don't mean to say you're bad if you don't do that already. And don't think that the harsh language in there like, "You foolish man," was at all meant for you. It was written in there, directed to the person whom this letter was written to. My point is that once you have gained strong faith, do something about it. That will complete your faith and secure it. How? Well just anything. But don't do it thinking it's neccessary for salvation; you are saved by grace, remember. But do it as a response to the love you have for God and your faith in Him.
Sorry, I kinda got carried away...
Anyway, the main point is that in order for you to get back in touch with God, you need to make the choices, and you need to push yourself. "God rewards those who earnestly seek Him." -Hebrews 11:6
Also, a note, don't beat yourself up over past mistakes and sins. Everybody messes up, and that's exactly why God came down and died for us. You're forgiven, and you don't have to live in your sin anymore. It's your choice. Although, God can help you, and He's great at doing that. wink
I hope that this helps, and if you want to talk about it more, just pm me. biggrin
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