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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:33 am
Many people on Gaia do not know much about canadian politics. In fact, they find it boring. Our biggest problem is weather or not Gays should be allowed to marry. Well you are about right. I say about since it wasn't always like this. Before, you voted for someone beacause you believed deeply in their politics and their capacities as prime minister. Now, you vote for someone by elimination.
From the years 1960 to 1990, one political party in particular stood out! The Rhinoceros. This was a party who satired politics. Jack Ferron, founder of this movement, was inspired by one of Ionescos plays and created this party based on the fact that they shall do NO promises (although that is all that they did). Their platform, on which you stand, was hillarious and on one faithfull election day in 1984, the party was the 4th biggest party Canada-wide and in some circonscriptions, they were second in line!! < In 1993, parlement voted new laws making sure that Rhinoceros wouldnt be able to participate.
Since then, many partys have been born in order to carry on the horn but none have succeeded until now.
This new party, the Neorhino, was created by three magic, nostalgic, politic people in september of this year and we (yes we, i am a memeber) are recruiting big personnalities in montreal to take over the horn
Here is the 2 foot platform on which we stand:
repealing the law of gravity,
reducing the speed of light because it's much too fast,
paving Manitoba to create the world's largest parking lot,
providing higher education by building taller schools,
instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages,
offering to retrain those constituents who want to become illiterate by enrolling them in a state educational institution,
tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset, or moving them one metre west as a make-work project,
legalising pot. And pans. And spatulas. And other kitchen utensils,
building sloping roads and bicycle paths across the country so that Canadians could "coast from coast to coast",
making all sidewalks out of rubber to prevent inebriated people from hurting themselves when they fall down
responding to the energy crisis, reducing energy costs for transportation by moving the cities of Montréal 50km west and Toronto 50km east,
abolishing pumping oil out of the ground as that oil is there to keep the earth moving smoothly on its axis and if you withdraw the oil, the whole thing will grind to a halt,
abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space,
annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory, after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories (Nunavut did not yet exist) in Canada's backyard, in order to raise the mean temperature of Canada by one degree Celsius,
replacing the Canadian Armed Forces with clones of Vladislav Tretiak, end crime by abolishing all laws making bubble gum the national currency, so that it could be inflated or deflated at will,
breeding a mosquito that would only hatch in January so that "the little buggers will freeze to death",
turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley,
adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last,
as an energy-saving idea, putting larger wheels on the back of all cars so that they will always be going downhill,
selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California, putting the national debt on Visa,
declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons,
offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this),
painting Canada's coastal sea limits so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times,
counting the Thousand Islands to make sure none were missing,
running Penny Hoar on a safe sex platform in Toronto,
running more than one candidate per riding as an MP's salary is certainly enough to support more than one person,
exploiting acid rain as an electrical energy source by placing dissimilar-metal electrodes in Canadian swimming pools in order to use them as batteries,
making Canadians stronger by putting steroids in the water,
banning lousy Canadian winters,
moving the Vatican to Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville, Quebec to promote tourism,
putting the West Edmonton Mall on wheels and rolling it to areas of the country suffering from economic depression,
turning the Louis-Hippolyte Lafontaine tunnel in Montreal into a free carwash by poking holes in the ceiling,
transforming the Montreal Olympic Stadium into a gigantic beluga aquarium,
drafting the Queen mother to sew up the hole in the ozone layer building giant domes over several conservative neighbourhoods to keep the dinosaurs, both real and political, in.
annexing Greenland and creating a cartel with other northern nations in order to sell icebergs to the Saudis; the cartel would be called "Snopec", digging a canal from coast to coast, by hand, to reduce unemployment; and then, leveling the Rocky Mountains and using the canal to transport the material east to fill in the Great Lakes, in order to expand Canada's landmass.
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 10:05 am
Nobody feels like discussing sad
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:22 pm
I guess they just don't want to read it all. Maybe you should crunch it together a bit more, to make it look a bit shorter sweatdrop .
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:25 pm
eek YOU'RE PART OF A POLITICAL PARTY eek
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:32 pm
Or maybe the topic just doesn't catch anyone's attention. heart heart
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:04 pm
No one cares about you folks in Canadia...
Actually that was pretty witty. I think any government supporting free speach ( you do that right?) should have no legitimate means to remove a political party.
Cool stuff though.
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:06 pm
mikhailxyohman Or maybe the topic just doesn't catch anyone's attention. heart heart I'm not trying to flame this topic or be mean to you, when I say this: Maybe what you said in your opening paragraph holds true to this topic ("Many people on Gaia do not know much about canadian politics. In fact, they find it boring."); but let's not be negative, hopefully this will get some response 3nodding .
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:47 pm
[XxGuardianDevilxX] mikhailxyohman Or maybe the topic just doesn't catch anyone's attention. heart heart I'm not trying to flame this topic or be mean to you, when I say this: Maybe what you said in your opening paragraph holds true to this topic ("Many people on Gaia do not know much about canadian politics. In fact, they find it boring."); but let's not be negative, hopefully this will get some response 3nodding . actually if you continued reading, you would realise that my statement was to say that gaians were misinformed about the politics...its actually quite interesting and this is a knowledge forum...the goal is to educate...so be gratefull that I am giving you this info in a simple dialect so that most can understand
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 6:00 am
How do I apply for honorary Canadian citizenship so that I may vote for this glorious party?
I have another plank for your platform. Moving the Canadian side of Lake Erie to the American side so that Canadian citizens would have something pretty to look at across the lake.
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 10:30 am
purple richie [XxGuardianDevilxX] mikhailxyohman Or maybe the topic just doesn't catch anyone's attention. heart heart I'm not trying to flame this topic or be mean to you, when I say this: Maybe what you said in your opening paragraph holds true to this topic ("Many people on Gaia do not know much about canadian politics. In fact, they find it boring."); but let's not be negative, hopefully this will get some response 3nodding . actually if you continued reading, you would realise that my statement was to say that gaians were misinformed about the politics...its actually quite interesting and this is a knowledge forum...the goal is to educate...so be gratefull that I am giving you this info in a simple dialect so that most can understand xp Believe it or not, I actually read it 3nodding .
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 10:42 am
Wow.. I think Canada's politics are more interesting than America's politics, I think your goals are hilarious and sound like they were invented by a pot-head. lol
Thats funny, making illitaracy a 3rd national language, whats up with Canada and having multiple national languages? National usually means just one, not 15.
I also find it funny that each providence has its own rules on whats the what, and some require that teachers speak in french in school or that french come before english on warning signs, even though english is the general language on earth and more Canadians speak english than french and also speak it more often than they do French.
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:13 pm
Moonlite Symphony No one cares about you folks in Canadia...
Actually that was pretty witty. I think any government supporting free speach ( you do that right?) should have no legitimate means to remove a political party.
Cool stuff though. (1) You spelt Canada wrong (2) Thanks for the care stare .
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:32 pm
Blood`Eternity Wow.. I think Canada's politics are more interesting than America's politics, I think your goals are hilarious and sound like they were invented by a pot-head. lol
Thats funny, making illitaracy a 3rd national language, whats up with Canada and having multiple national languages? National usually means just one, not 15.
I also find it funny that each providence has its own rules on whats the what, and some require that teachers speak in french in school or that french come before english on warning signs, even though english is the general language on earth and more Canadians speak english than french and also speak it more often than they do French. Aren't providences pretty much the same as states?
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:07 pm
Blood`Eternity Wow.. I think Canada's politics are more interesting than America's politics, I think your goals are hilarious and sound like they were invented by a pot-head. lol
Thats funny, making illitaracy a 3rd national language, whats up with Canada and having multiple national languages? National usually means just one, not 15.
I also find it funny that each providence has its own rules on whats the what, and some require that teachers speak in french in school or that french come before english on warning signs, even though english is the general language on earth and more Canadians speak english than french and also speak it more often than they do French. actually the fact that french has so much importance, especially in Quebec, has it's historical roots. The people who colonised the territory were French Later it became political when the french, which were a majority in quebec were being repressed by the english who were a minority. They had all the jobs, money and glory...When the laws for the protection of french came in, Quebecers were very happy ^^
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:09 pm
mikhailxyohman Blood`Eternity Wow.. I think Canada's politics are more interesting than America's politics, I think your goals are hilarious and sound like they were invented by a pot-head. lol
Thats funny, making illitaracy a 3rd national language, whats up with Canada and having multiple national languages? National usually means just one, not 15.
I also find it funny that each providence has its own rules on whats the what, and some require that teachers speak in french in school or that french come before english on warning signs, even though english is the general language on earth and more Canadians speak english than french and also speak it more often than they do French. Aren't providences pretty much the same as states? PROVINCES** ha ha....and no they are not like states but i dont now enough abou tthose to make a good comparison wink perhaps if you wish to educate us on the politics of states i will be able to heart
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