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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:56 pm
Red Rose Red Rose Red Rose don’t follow me here
For you are everything I have left to fear
You are as dark as the mark of death
And I’m all I have left
Red Rose Red Rose bleed for me
For I have fallen to my knees
Make it quick is all I plead
Do I have a sanctuary an escape?
No invisible coat or cape
No where to run no where to hide
My last wish has been denied
going awat to say I really wish you would go away
For I have traveled the world for seven days
Still you have not strayed
I really wished you would go away
For I would be free had you not stayed
I really wish you would go away
For now, I am depressed and here I lay
Whishing you had stayed
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 7:38 pm
Red Rose: um... isn't the mark of death supposed to be black??? and if the rose is red, how can it be darker than the mark of death??? lol.
Going Away To Stay: try making the rhyming in a pattern...like every other line or something... because as it is now, there are too many rhymes and it sounds like something you'd here at daycare... no offense intended...
I could edit these if you want... i'm good at that...
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