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 Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:10 pm
"Boredom: the desire for desires." I heard it from some horse at the ranch. Some human said it. Leo Tolstoy? Yeah, him... the Russian writer. I think he's the one who wrote War and Peace also. It doesn't really matter.
Things are so... calm... at the ranch. Peaceful. I can't stand staying there for long. Of course, I'm not stupid. I stay near enough that if something were to happen SOMEONE would hear me cry out, but I am far enough away that I don't see those buildings every time I look back. Though still I am plagued by this craving... to want something.
Sighing, Touka shook her head. Circling around an old oak as she walked, the filly spoke aloud to herself. "Apathy is a sort of living oblivion." A roll of her eyes. "Who said that again...? Horace Greeley? Yeah..." Shrugging, she leapt lightly over a fallen trunk.
"Isn't it the truth though? Nothing could be worse than lacking emotional response to everything. I may be young, but that doesn't mean I'm 'stupid' or I don't already know some things." Especially because she was one trapped in such an oblivion. "If you feel so little emotion, life is a merely a dull system you run through, over and over again. Boredom hardly exists, if even. No desire to desire.
"Not that I would care to feel emotions. Psh. From what I've seen, in the end you always end up hurt. I don't need that." Pausing as her hoof knocked a pebble down the slope and it plopped into a puddle, she watched the ripples momentarily before continuing. "I can exist just fine without feeling a thing. So why bother?" Shaking her head, she snorted. "How does one go about 'feeling' things, anyways? A stupid concept, if you ask me."
What some people felt so naturally, love and happiness or sorrow and hate, Touka just couldn't understand it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't wrap her mind around the concept of just "feeling" something. To her that was like just "feeling" yourself rub against a tree. You don't. You (or someone else) has to cause your body to rub against the tree, creating the feeling. The wind has to blow for you to feel it. Something has to create noise, be visible, taste like something, smell, or be tangible for it to be felt in whatever sense.
How could emotions not be the same?
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Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:18 pm
((I'm moving back to Roy's Dark Period For the time being just so you know))
Roy was laying in a field nearby. He was thinking of all the pain he had caused and wished he could just not feel anymore. It hurt to much. He felt pained to know he felt pained.
He rose and moved down to the pond. He bent to drink and rose when the soft ripple of a pebble entering the water tickled his nose. He looked up to see a foal that couldn't have even reached the bottom of his neck on the top of the hill. Why was he/she here. It was to far out from the ranch to be safe. He looked back to his own reflection. But then again he would just hurt her.
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Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:29 pm
((Of course, le Chatte! x3 ORP. Open Roleplay. Free for all~ So go ahead.
-skitters to her room- ^_^ I'll reply in the morning.))
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Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:18 pm
((Whoo! Thanks! heart ))
There was a loud cracking noise, then the stench of brimstone wafted from the shadows. All alone, solitary, and desolate-seeming, Pollisand's body dissolved in from the fog.
He was a macabre creature, a monstrosity that seemed to appear directly out of a tale of horror. His ragged cape fluttered in the wind, and a sharp axe was strapped to his side. Pollisand Soldier was a very large horse, over nineteen hands, and of a heavy cold-blooded breed. He was completely black with strange golden patterns instead of stockings on his legs, but most chillingly of all, he did not have a head.
His spine ended abruptly, the shattered bones littering the inside of his neck. The windpipe and esophogaes were likewise smashed. Peering down his neck gave one a view of his dark insides.
No one had seen his entrance, thankfully. The smell of brimstone could be scented for a few meters still strong. He heard a horse speak...
"Life is merely a dull system... No desire for desire.." He stepped out of his glade and out to the main forest, where he saw a horse-
A lady! He attempted to reach back with his head to smooth his cape but forgot that he had no noggin, so he settled for shaking the dust and tendrils of mist off his coat and executing his elegant parade-walk out to meet Touka.
"Vhat is soup vithout the salt?" he boomed, trying for the suave, lady's man voice he had once long ago, but only his dull crackling whispery roar came out. "Salt, it stings vhen touched and hurts vhen trifilied vith." His thick German accent was heavy on his voice. "Pepper, it burns the eyez and burns the mouth. Vine, the vine red vine that men drink, causes fools to be damned and the vise be fools." He came out closer to Touka.
"But vhat is the soup of life, no matter how fine and delashous eet ees, weethout salt, pepper, and fine wine? What is life of life without sadness, anger, and love?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:30 am
Touka's gaze moved to the large (and quite noticably headless) stallion as he spoke. Something far back in her brain told her that the natural reaction to seeing such a being would be fright... or at least surprise. But then... nothing. She wasn't scared, she wasn't shocked. The young filly could feign the emotions well enough, but why bother if it wasn't real?
"But this soup you speak of," she replied, taking her time in figuring how to put her words together to express herself properly. "This soup is still just as fine without, is it not? A cook may claim to create the world's greatest dish, but if the consumer feels the desire to add unnecessary ingredients, the cook is essentially being told that his work wasn't good enough."
The smell of brimstone seemed to waft off the horse as Touka studied him, gaze lingering on the remains of his head. "Life is perfect, people say. You can't replicate life. So why ruin the perfect dish with unnecessary additions?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 4:46 pm
Pollisand Soldier laughed loudly, or at least the remains of a laugh. One couldn't hold it against him that half his larynx had been pummeled to tissue smoothie after all, right?
"Yaah," he said, the smile evident in his voice. "Life? Perfact? Vhere did papuls [people] tell vou such fuulishness?" He shook the remaining dust off his coat. "God is Great dey told me, but eef so, vhy does He make unpurfect theengs like vus? Hees vork isn't gud [good] eenugh, ve must make urrselfs betta." He let out a snorting sound.
Pollisand's shoulders bunched, as if the muscles there were trying to turn a head. "Vat ees theese taalk ubout feelings?" he asked. "Vou so talking Oi heeere vou."
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 5:19 pm
Touka shook her head. "Oh no. A life is not perfect, of course. But life itself is the last true miracle. The magic of birth. But then the young must make him or herself perfect. It's like... Carbon, I guess. Coal can be made into diamond. To make the imperfect... perfect."
Snorting, the filly shook her head. "I just don't get it! What are emotions? You can't just 'feel' something! That's not how things go." She lightly kicked a rock. "You can't see emotions, you can't smell them, hear them, touch them, taste them. So what are they?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:37 pm
Pollisand laughed. "Birth? Zee last miracle? Life? Zee last miracle?" He laughed again. "The last miracle is vhat to do vith life, birth requires nothing, life requires only zee effort of a mare and stallion. The child contributes nothing. Oi think eet is vhat to do zat ees the last miracle, free choice." His neck muscles bunched again, as if turning a head to look at the filly. "Feel things? Yaah can't think smells, sounds, sights, or touches either, cun yaaah? Vat exaactly ees yaahru trouble?"
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 2:23 pm
Shaking her head, Touka paused and tilted her head to look up at clouds drifting overhead. Eventually lowering her head to look back at the headless stallion, she shrugged lightly. "Well, that you can't. But you don't think feelings, do you? You think thoughts. Feelings... emotions... how does one 'feel' those? I mean, you FEEL things that are tangible. The word is synonymous with touch. So how does one receive emotions?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:40 pm
The large headless horse walked around for a while before responding. The smell of brimstone wafted off his coat again.
"....Feelings, vou do not know, ees dat urr probleeem?" he asked. "Oi lied a bit, uu DO feel feelings. Vhen vou hear dat, the call of var trumpets of humans, eet reaches vour ears and vou feel anxious and pace in your stall-" he stopped. Was she a wild horse or a Human's horse? "Vhen vou touch sumding soft laik a foal or eet sumding guud like suga, dat ees happy." His shoulder muscles flexed again, as if turning his long-lost head to look at the filly.
"But not really," he added lamely. "Oi du naught see anymaa, Oi do naught hear or smell, but Oi still do..." He shook his head and muttered something in German. "Wot is the lady's troubles?"
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Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 12:25 pm
Roy was wandering again when he heard Pollisand speaking. He waited for the reply because he knew that he was with someone else.
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Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:27 pm
Touka sighed, shaking her head lightly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she decided that this would be a situation that would cause frustration, being unable to accurately describe what she wanted to say. Connected frustration with an irritated stomp, she did so.
"The trouble is that I don't feel! What is happiness? Sadness? Hatred? I don't know." Looking toward the ground, she continued. "Feelings? What are they? Cause I don't get them. Death, life, good, bad, they all feel the same to me."
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Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:00 pm
Pollisand Soldier nearly flicked his ears back but had no ears to flip back anyways.
"Huuuummm...." he mused, the German equivilant of Hmmm-ing. "Vell, vhat eef vou would drop dead right now?" he asked. "Vould you like that? Not liking sumthiggg ees feeling, ees eet nawt?" he asked but then checked himself.
"Vell, eef vou du nawt laik sumthig, then vou do not wunt eet near you. Zat ees feeling, right?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:43 pm
Touka considered that for a moment before shrugging one shoulder. "If I were to drop dead right now, I wouldn't feel a thing. I'd be dead." She stated this flatly, a simple fact to her.
"So if one doesn't not want things near them.. or want things near them... is that not feeling? To care nothing whether something is near or not?"
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