I've lost myself,
you all can tell,
I'm just a shadow of who I was before I fell.
I'll take my pencil, and the paper,
and with these words I'll find myself.
Take the pencil in my hand,
flip it upside down,
erase the pain,
erase the fear,
erase the sadness,
erase all.
I'll find myself in the blanks.
But a problem has roused,
tears stain the page,
they will never go away,
but slowly they will dry and fade,
I'll find myself in the soft residue.
And lo!
At last I see,
what was lost,
the rest of me,
I see past my sadness,
I see why I cried,
I see the turmoil behind the stiffened cries!
I remember how we where,
I remember our dreams,
I remember our happiness until that fateful day.
You said you knew we where ment to be,
forget what all the rest would say,
you and me,
me and you,
thats all that really mattered.
And one day I would hold you,
your head across my chest,
an up and down motion,
together at last.
But than HE came!
He blinded you with his 'looks'.
You didn't have to wait for him,
like you did with me,
hand and hand you two walked,
no one even told me.
I saw the picture,
I read your words,
you said you loved him,
what about me?
Wasn't I special?
Wasn't I worth it?
You always made me feel that way.
I tried sharing,
but that didn't work,
I foolishly gave you up,
to the boy who had you thought had looks,
Three days past,
I only cried,
I wanted to be strong,
but all I felt was weak.
I came crawling back,
time past and I never got an answer,
we started talking about other things,
like 'Fight Club' and teachers.
Today you asked me how I felt,
'Like crap,' was my initial thought,
'I want you back in my life. A freind drew a picture of my today, it had your name in a heart.
I never told her what happened to us, I started to open my mouth, but all that came out was a cry.
So I put on my mask, and acted like it was fine.'
I answered 'Sorta. Why?' and hoped it would be over.
But you knew me better, you knew something was wrong!
So I'm telling you now, in the poem like song,
This was never about finding me, it was about helping you find me.
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