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The Pancake Conspiracy Crew
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 Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 6:23 pm
[Description to be added later.]
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Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 6:42 pm
Spencer heard no respone from Damien, but instead watched as he slowly slid himself down to lay back on the bed. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears, and his cheeks burning. Well, he had gotten it over with. Now, to live with his reaction. Which at the moment, didn't seem to be very positive. Was he disappointed? Surprised? Shocked? Or just not in the mood to talk about it any further? His eyes slowly looked around the room, trying to get used to the enviornment of his home-away-from-home. Which is really what he considered this place. Though, it was even better than home; because home was where his parents were. That's when it hit him - his mother. When would he tell her about this?
Which led to another thought. Exactly what was this. He met a boy, they kissed, and he feels something beyond friendship when around him. He was all of a sudden considering himself as a bixsexual, which his family just would not allow. He found himself staring blankly at the other bed in the room, thoughts of what this could possibly end up becoming. Maybe he would remember, and then they would start going out? A smile touched his lips as that thought crossed his mind. Yeah, he'd like that a lot.
His eyes glanced away, his head jerking slightly to the side to look at Damien as he sat up once more. Perhaps he had come to a conclusion of sorts, maybe he had made up his mind about all this. Brown optics followed the other's hands to look down at the little part of the bed left in between them. His eyes slowly crawled up his body to look into those of the other, a smile matching the human's on his own lips. When he felt his hand on the skin of his cheek, he knew what was coming. As he leaned closer, Spencer let his eyes close, but they soon stopped, after coming so close to each other. He opened his eyes halfway, gazing dreamily into the others', before closing once more to allow their lips to connect.
After a few seconds, though it felt to him like much longer, the angel leaned back slightly. "You do remember.." He whispered, having concluded in his mind that Damein had remembered exactly what they were doing before his mind when blank. He opened his eyes to gaze briefly into his eyes, before closing them and bringing his hand up to the other's cheek, opposite of his own, and brought their lips together once more to feel the ultimate bliss of another shared kiss.
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The Pancake Conspiracy Crew
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 6:37 pm
Mentally, Damien grimaced at the statement. It wasn’t that it was an untrue statement, but it wasn’t completely true either. His eyes opened a crack after that statement, and closed again as the gap between the two boys disappeared again. A small crease grew between the seventeen-year-old’s eyebrows sometime in the kiss, but he was able to smooth it out before they parted. For a moment, a queer look took over his reopened crimson eyes, before he smiled slightly at his friend. Or boyfriend? What were they, again?
A soft sigh slipped from the dance teacher’s lips and he pulled Spencer into his arms. Well, at least he now knew that this boy hadn’t been telling the truth with that ‘I’m not gay’ statement from earlier. It was kind of funny that something like that had been one of the first things Damien had gotten out of him, rather than what a normal person could get our of someone else. But Damien was glad for it nonetheless. Now he knew that Spencer hadn’t known that about himself, and knew something else, even. At least, it seemed that way. If it wasn’t, that would make for a rather awkward situation.
“Of course I remember,” Damien said softly, closing his eyes comfortably. Ah, this was a perfect situation, it seemed. It wouldn’t be a surprise if Damien ended up falling asleep like this, but he could keep that from happening. Moving one of his hands, he again started to rub at the base of one of Spencer’s wings, where they broke through his recently torn shirt. He partially opened his eyes.
“But you know...” he continued, knowing that it would be a stupid, bad idea not to tell Spencer about what was forgotten. If he lied once to the boy, it would start happening more and more often until it was lucky to get even one truthful statement out of him about his condition, or anything else. And that was the last thing he wanted to happen. Again, he tried to grope into the blackness of his mind, being wary of causing another attack. He came up empty. That memory had completely disappeared by now. “I... Don’t remember... I don’t remember either of the first times we kissed, Spence. I guess I just... Lost them somewhere...”
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 8:53 am
When the kiss finally parted, he gazed into the deep crimson eyes of the boy. He loved his eyes.. And his hair.. And his touch.. Was he really this infatuated already? It usually took some time for the angel to fall for somebody, why was it that he was already this close to Damien? Truthfully, he didn't mind it. He kind of missed the feeling of being in love. He had been through a few relationships in his lifetime, but none seemed to compare to this feeling. Maybe it was the fact that they were both males, and that this was something he wasn't used to. Maybe it was because of the risk, for he knew his mother wouldn't approve.
The fact that the other had sighed didn't really worry Spencer, because it was soon followed by a gentle embrace. He let his hand fall from the cheek of the other to place both hands in his lap. He rested his head upon Damien's shoulder, eyes closed. Once again he felt his soothing fingertips brushing over his wings. It felt so calming, he could really fall asleep right there in his arms. All that had happened today was tiring him out, so maybe it would be a good thing. He didn't want this moment to end..
A small smile graced Spencer's lips as the other's voice reached his ears. It was nice to hear that he remembered, because he wouldn't want to be the only one to remember these things. He didn't have a wonderful memory as it was, and it would be nice to talk about 'old times' with him, later on.. If this became a relationship.. And it lasted long enough for them to have 'old times'. He cleared those thoughts away, for they weren't very positive.
The angel hadn't been expecting a continuation, but listened to it nonetheless. Hearing that he didn't remember those few kisses made his stomach turn, his eyes slowly open. Of course he was a bit sad that he didn't remember, but it was also a good thing. He felt as though he had made a mistake running away, and now he didn't remember, so it seemed as though everything would be fine. Now, they could start fresh. They had already kissed again, right?
He lifted his head from the other's shoulder, eyes looking into those of the other. "Don't worry about it.." He whispered, cupping the other's cheek with his hand once more. He leaned in slowly for a kiss, eyes closing half way, but stopped before their lips could touch. "We'll just have to make new memories for you." He smiled, closing the gap as his eyes closed, enjoying the feel of another kiss with Damien.
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The Pancake Conspiracy Crew
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 8:32 pm
‘My thoughts exactly,’ Damien replied mentally, leaning into the kiss slightly. By now, he knew that Spencer would be able to live with his memory defect [if they lasted that long], and wouldn’t be surprised if the angel could hear his thoughts, after all that the two of them had been through. Actually, he probably would be rather surprised, fi the thought wasn’t predictable as this, but the phrase worked well enough in this situation. After all, it seemed that they both felt the same emotions for each other, so why not thoughts? And, though it wasn’t the cliche sort of romance that one could find in a fairy-tale or a book sold in stores around the world, it was still some sort of romance, right? Then again, no one had a true, storybook romance. No princess was really a princess and their night in shining armor was rarely even a heard-of name. But that was the way that they could make each other feel. And that was how Damien felt at the moment, like he was the most important thing in the world, to at least one person. Or, that was how he felt. For the time being.
Internally, Damien smiled. Slowly, and trying to make his movement unnoticeable as possible, he put one of his hands on the bed behind Spencer. Being sure that the two of them actually had enough space on the bed, he lowered the boy down to it, keeping their lips connected. Of course, he was wary of the angel’s wings, not wanting them to be crushed, and especially not at a time like this. This letting his ‘friend’ down to the bed with him, was probably as far as his little problems would allow him to get in any kind of relationship. Still, the dance teacher was holding himself up with both bent arms, for to not make either Spencer or himself uncomfortable. Only a few moments later, though, he pushed himself up, staying above the boy with his elbows and knees against the bedding, both helping to hold him up.
Damien smiled down at the other, before looking at him curiously, as though he had suddenly appeared on the bed sheets and Damien had been smiling at thin air. He leaned down, almost to the point that their noses were touching, seeming intent on one spot of the boy’s face until he leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose, laughing softly as he pulled back for a second time. Ah, how he loved this boy... And that was that. At that time, Damien Webster decided that, yes, he was in love with Spencer, the angel boy that flew into his life as he drifted into Sinful Wings. The boy then flopped to the side of the angel, missing his wings, again, and pulled Spencer atop him. Damien had gotten good at that over the years, needing to be able to lift his dance partner from the ground for a significant amount of time when the dance called for it. So, no longer having to hold himself up, he wrapped his arms about Spencer, a giddy smile on that tan face. Kissing the boy lightly and quickly, he looked into those brown eyes with a strange glow deep in his own crimson orbs. “Hey, Spence, guess what?” he asked, rhetorically, giving only enough pause for some sort of dramatic effect. “I love you.” ((Homigawsh, my first non-dramatic love... Thingy!! =’3))
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:01 pm
[Homg cuteness. >w<]
Spencer could feel one of Damien's hands leave his body and onto the bed, but he made no real note of it. He was a bit too into the kiss. He could feel his cheeks turn red, his heart pound, his stomach turn in a way he would never want it to stop. But as he felt his body slowly lowering onto the bed, he let his eyes open slightly, his wings moving gently so that they wouldn't get crushed under their bodies. He wasn't sure why they were doing this, but he didn't want it to end. His arms stayed wrapped around the other's neck, but he tried his hardest not to hang all of his weight off it, so he didn't hurt the boy. He soon felt the comfort of his bed greet his back, and loosened his hold on Damien's neck, though he left his arms there.
When he felt Damien slowly lift up off of him, and then their lips part, a soft whimper escaped his lips. He wanted to feel the kiss again, but he hadn't meant to make a sound. His eyes opened to look up at the other, who was still on top of him. Brown orbs gazed into crimson, watching as they slowly came closer, almost until the point of touching. He couldn't help but smile as the other laughed, because he loved his laugh.. And his eyes.. His kiss.. His personality.. But all thoughts were cleared as a small breeze blew over him, and he found that the boy who had once been above him, was now below him. He set his hands down on either side of the boy's head, straightened, his knees on either side of his waist. He felt Damien's arms around his waist, he slowly leaned down, only to be kissed by the other before he had the chance. He let his eyes stay open for this once, for he could feel it would be short. He gazed lovingly down into the eyes of the other.. Before being hit with the three words he never heard before in his life.
His heart skipped a beat, his stomach gave a quick turn. His face was blank, expressionless, which he didn't realize could very well give Damien the wrong impression. Maybe that was the reason for all the feelings he was currently witnessing. The heart beating, the flooded mind, the stomach-turning, the dazical gazes; could it really be? Had Spencer finally found somebody who he loved, who also loved him back? A small smile crept onto his lips as that thought crossed his mind. Yeah, that was it. He was in love.
He lifted one hand from the bed, brushing a few strands of hair from the other boy's face. He set the hand back down on the bed, a bit too hard, making the bed move slightly. He bent his arms, slowly moving himself closer to the body underneath his own. "I love you too, Dai." He whispered, taking one last good look into the other's eyes before filling the small space between them with another kiss. A kiss of two lovers. Yeah, Spencer liked the sound of that.
He broke the kiss a couple of minutes later, and gently pushed himself to Damien's side, back to where he had originally been laying. He turned onto his side, facing the other, and propped his head up with his hand. He gazed at the other's face, trying to think of something to say. "So..." He mumbled, eyes looking around a bit before settling back onto the other's face. "I guess now it's official. I'm yours, and you're mine." He said, his voice a bit more hushed than before. He smiled, liking the idea. To finally be someone's, and be free to do so, too. To try new things. "This.. Memory thing of yours. How often does it happen?" He asked, his other hand drawing random figures on the sheets, his wing rested over his shoulder.
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The Pancake Conspiracy Crew
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 9:47 pm
As those two lovely brow eyes want blank, as did the other’s face, after Damien had said that, he tried to shrink back into himself. Trying to put up... Some barrier from the outside world, some sort of front. From lack of experience, however, it didn’t really work. And to a** on to that, his conscience was yelling at him. ‘I told you he was going to do this! No he’s going to turn you down. Dammit, Damien, why didn’t you just wait? Why not actually establish a relationship with him first, at least? What happens if you don’t actually love him? What if-’
The teacher’s thoughts were muted when a pale hand swiped the midnight strands of out of his line of vision. Those words left Spencer’s lips, and the weight of the world suddenly floated off his shoulders. So... So he had made the right choice then, right? Spence did love him back, and he didn’t care about Damien’s problems. Or, he didn’t care about the ones that he actually knew about. That lowered Damien’s spirits greatly, that thought did. What about the things that his father had scarred him with? His fears. His having to ask his roommate to have to change in the bathroom or for himself to have to change in what was bound to be a very small closet. And the mental and physical limits of their relationship, if they lasted that long, were very much like cement roadblocks. But he didn’t have time to linger on these thoughts, for his love had started speaking once again, after rising from a kiss that Damien hadn’t seemed to notice.
“Let’s try for always-forever, then, hmm?” he questioned after Spencer’s cute statement, grinning at the angel. Unlike Spence’, though, Damien stayed on his back, lifting his arms to interlock his fingers and put a make-shift pillow for himself. A moment before, he had been looking at Spencer, his gaze as it seemed to be around the other seventeen-year-old, but he was now looking toward the ceiling thoughtfully. He likes to talk with his person, this angel. The two of them could hold more intelligent conversations while still making jokes every other sentence. Which was definitely a good thing because, being that way himself, Damien enjoyed joking about anyone in sight, which included him, as well as random observations. It was fun. But, as Spencer spoke again, Damien slowed his brain to a processing level and listened, though still watching the ceiling contentedly.
‘Must we talk about that of all things?’ Damien thought, but he knew the answer was a yes. With Spencer, and actually being with Spencer, there was a good chance that the human had no choice but to tell his boyfriend all about this. At least all that the other wanted to know, pulling the fact that Damien didn’t remember half of the stuff for himself put into play as well. “Every month or so, usually. Sometimes more often,” Damien murmured, his voice detached. It seemed he was a bit too intent on watching the ceiling. “But I don’t forget anything, most of the time. Not like I did today...” He hated forgetting anything, but what he really hated was the guilt that went with it, even if the other person was fine with him forgetting...
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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:39 pm
"Sounds like a plan." Spencer whispered, watching Damien get comfortable by his side. He shyly moved in closer, resting his head on the other boy's chest, along with one of his hands. He wasn't used to being the more passive, or "uke" in relationships. So this, as well as other things about being in a relationship where there were two males, was strange and new to him. But he would embrace the changes, and hopefully be able to embrace his new sexuality, and found love for the human whose heartbeat was currently pounding against his ear.
The angel nodded his head slightly as he tried his best to remember what he just said, just so that he was prepared for the next time it happened. "Okay. So I'll try and remember key things that happened.. And then I'll help you get back on track." He said softly, lifting his head for a few seconds to plant another kiss upon the other's lips, before settling back down. He gave a small flap of the wing which was currently on his top side, cooling himself down a bit. But, seeing as the shirt had holes in it which were made naturally, he had a bit of trouble. He bit down on his bottom lip for a second, then pushed himself up, off of the other, and off the bed altogether.
"Hope you don't mind, I wanna change this shirt. The holes aren't very comfortable." He said, making his way over to his bags. He bent over, opened one, and began to dig through the clothing, trying to find the shirts in which he had already made holes. Those holes were actually big enough to leave some space for his wings to move, and looked more neat than the ones in his current shirt. Thank God for scissors, eh? He straightened himself once more, holding in his hand a brown t-shirt, the word "Angel" written across the chest in thick blue lettering. An odd colour combination for such a word, yes, but he liked it anyway.
"You won't mind if I change.. R-right?" Spencer asked, though stammered. It was strange for him to already be doing this, so early in the relationship. "N-not to early for th-that?" He questioned, feeling his face heaten up once more. He wasn't sure what was too fast or too slow in a gay relationship. The amount of kissing they had been doing the past hour or so was already more than he would in a month or two with a girl. But.. He enjoyed the fast pace. He just hoped that it didn't end too quickly..
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The Pancake Conspiracy Crew
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Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:10 pm
The shyness of the other boy was officially dubbed cute in Damien’s mind. In truth, that’s what it was. Spencer was a cute, shy little angel whom had only recently discovered his true sexuality, it seemed. At least, this seemed true from that statement so long ago. One of the firs that had passed between the two. Wow. It had seen such a short time since the two of them had met, and yet so much had happened. Softly, Damien moved one of his hands down, stroking Spencer’s soft brown hair. It actually was smooth, unlike Damien’s was so often, and his fingers slid through it without complications. He sighed softly, many different thoughts floating through his head as he watched the ceiling with a contemplative crimson gaze.
“Perfect,” Damien replied good-naturedly, smiling as he felt Spencer’s lips on his own yet again. It seemed this was a very affectionate boy, adding to the traits that Damien had thought up a few moments ago. Now more than before, he felt as though he was going to fall asleep. He was so comfortable, with his love by his side, the murmur of the other voices melded with the other sounds around their part of the school at the moment. It was a pleasant feeling, this contentment. Which was why he was so saddened when the other’s presence left him all by his lonesome. Sitting up, he watched the boy listening to his first statement, only half the words registering in his mind.
Suddenly, his mind was receiving flashes of pictures again, though they weren’t bad enough to cause another attack. A room. A child’s room. And he and his brother. His father. He closed his eyes, fisting a hand in his hair in frustration, upsetting the ponytail he wore almost all the time. Willing the sights out of his head, he thought to himself, ‘Don’t worry your boyfriend...’ Opening his eyes, he found the angel with his shirt choice in his hands. Cute. It fit him, oddly enough. But again, hear the questions made him feel annoying and embarrassed. He was afraid of way too many things. Which would add to the slowly growing list of complications in their relationship. Damien felt his face heat up and growled at himself mentally.
“Actually... Spence...” Oh, how was he going to put this? ‘I was abused by my dad and can’t stand nudity’? ‘I’m scared of naked people, no’? Just flat out ‘Yes, it’s too early’? He had no idea, so why not just wing it. “Well... Something happened to me when I was little and... And I can’t see people when they have their clothes off... Or anything like that...” Sure, it wasn’t the best word choice, but it got the point across. And anyway, he wasn’t yet ready to tell Spencer or anyone about his father or anything. There would be yet another ‘special surprise’. Starting from his place, he moved to the door, and put his hand on the knob. Looking back at Spencer, he smiled slightly. “So shall I leave you alone for the moment?”
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Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:52 pm
When Damien uttered the simple words of "actually, Spence", the angel could feel his heart pound harder. He was stupid for ever thinking to do such a thing! He was going way too fast, and now he had scared the poor boy away. When he heard the boy's explanation, he just nodded his head slightly, eyes gazing down at the ground in shame. It was obvious that the other had just made up an excuse to not have to bare witness to the pale skin that was Spencer's chest. Before he had time to even notice, the other boy was at the door, ready to leave. This only tore his heart further, to see how much he wanted out. He just lifted his shoulders slighly at the question, letting them fall loosely at a relaxed position. "Whatever you want, Dai." He mumbled, turning his back to the other, just in case tears would grace his cheeks anytime soon. His wings hung lower than usual, as did his head. Funny how he could go from being the happiest boy alive, to such a sad one.
What was strange, however, was how Spencer forgot the actual amount of time that had passed since he met this boy. It felt like it was weeks ago that Damien said he loved him, even though it was only a few minutes ago. Months since they had shared their first kiss. Years that they first laid eyes on each other, though it was barely a few hours. Damien had just confessed his love for him, and he should have used his common sense to realize that he wouldn't be over him that quickly. No one could have such 'mood swings', if you will. Not even a girl in her time of the month.
He shook his head, quickly dashing off into the washroom. He needed to get away, because he was starting to sweat. Too much thinking. He quickly pulled off his shirt and began to flap his wings, sending the cool air to soothe the skin of his bare torso. He wasn't toned or anything, no magnificent six pack. Not that he was fat, either. Just average ol' Spence. After he felt better, he slipped on the shirt he had picked out, and then took a deep breath. Now, he had to go face Damien. Not that it was a bad thing, really, he loved talking to the boy. Releasing a smalls sigh, he opened the door and walked back into his room, smiling weakly at Damien.
"Hey.." He said, eyes avoiding contact with him after that instant. He shoved the old shirt away, then stood up straight and scratched the back of his neck. Silence seemed to fill the room for a few seconds, his eyes suddenly worshiping the ground on which he stood. "Is.. Everything okay?" He asked, referring to why he had said what Spencer thought to be lies and excuses to get out of seeing his naked body. Then again.. If he wanted out, why was he still here?
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The Pancake Conspiracy Crew
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:59 am
‘I’m such an idiot,’ Damien thought silently, as he watched how his boyfriend reacted to his statement. But it was true! Dear God, he would have given almost anything if he could have told Spencer that it was fine, or that it wasn’t at all too soon. But of course, God wouldn’t listen to him. Nor would He listen to Daemon. That’s why, with all the night they clung to each other for comfort and prayed that their father would stop with the torture he was inflicting upon the two of them, nothing ever happened. Praying. Hoping. Wishing. Dreaming. They all had one thing in common- They didn’t solve anything.
Just as he was going to open the door, Spencer darted into the bathroom. Briefly, he debated whether or not to actually leave, but he figured the situation desperately needed explaining. So, he removed his hand from the doorknob and pressed his back to the temperature-less door. Not minding the sudden shock to his nervous system, Damien let his head fall back against the door with a magnificent crack before he slid down. Expressionless, he pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin upon them, repeatedly reviewing what he’d said only moments before.
“Such a pain in the a**,” he growled to himself. It was hard to tell what he was talking about, himself or his condition. But there wasn’t time to think on that, because the next thing to happen was Spencer coming out of the bathroom. His question only seemed to make Damien more frustrated with himself, and his father. And possible God. Of course, everything wasn’t okay! It had never been okay, and he doubted it ever would be! Calming himself, Damien got up from the floor and crossed the room. For a moment, he just stood watching Spencer watched his feet before he wrapped his arms about the boy’s shoulders. It seemed he was doing it more to comfort himself than Spencer, though.
“No,” he murmured, eyes blinking a good bit slower that normal before closing altogether. “Everything’s not alright. I have too many problems for anything about us to be ‘alright’. I can’t watch people undress, or even lacking a bit of clothing. I can’t undress in front of people. Hell, I can’t even see my own reflection! In anything!” His arms tightened slightly around Spence. It wasn’t clear if he was simply frustrated or on the verge of tears. “Dammit, Spence... Don’t you see? If we ever moved in together, we would practically have to live in different houses. And... And... There are so many things that I wouldn’t be able to do, Spence. So many things...”
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:58 pm
Spencer could hear the other boy get up and walk closer, but he just couldn't look up. His shoes really weren't all that interesting, he had seen them before, but he didn't want to face the expression on the other's face. What if he said that no, everything wasn't okay? 'Oh great. Just got into the relationship, already in a fight.' He thought. But, was that really what this was? A fight? If Damien didn't like his pale skin, then he wouldn't have done all that he had. They wouldn't have kissed, he wouldn't have said he loved him. So.. Maybe he was just over-reacting. Yeah, that was it.
He was just about to smile, when he felt the human boy's arms around his body. He closed his eyes, feeling the word "no" stab at his heart. No? That meant something was wrong.. So then things weren't okay, and that there was something about Spencer or that Spencer had done wrong to have caused this. His eyes opened, glancing over to spot Damien's closed eyelids. His face looked a bit tense, but he was cute nonetheless. His lips twitched to smile, but that soon faded away as the other continued. He understood that this wasn't just about himself, but the explanation was still too general, and didn't explain what had caused all this.
When the other boy stopped talking, Spencer gently placed hands ontop of the others', and peeled them off his shoulders. He just held them in his hands, in between their two bodies. He at first gazed into the eyes of the other, then looked away. "You're thinking so far ahead.." He whispered. He hadn't even had the time to think about marriage, living together, anything. Hell, the farthest he thought about was next morning. He wasn't going to plan their future together so soon. But after all this, he just hoped they still had a future..
"Look, Damien," he said softly, trying his best to get the question lingering on his mind answered as quickly as possible. "What's wrong with you?" He asked, glancing up to look into the other's eyes. His mind had so many thoughts flooding his conscience, that he didn't even realize that the way he portrayed the question in a way that could easily offend anyone. Even after he had said it, he still didn't realize it. He just stared into the other's eyes, asking for an answer to all this. They were so happy, just moments ago.. What happened?
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The Pancake Conspiracy Crew
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 8:27 pm
Damien didn’t care how far ahead he was thinking. He didn’t care if he thought and planned out their death days, for that matter. When Spencer had pulled those tanned hands off his shoulders, they were shaking, and they still were, though it wasn’t very extreme. He let out a shaky breath and opened his eyes, staring at the floor, though his eyes slowly drifted up to their connected hands. Oh, why did fate have such a strong punishment for him rather than dividing it between multiple people? Did he do something wrong in a past life? Like help sink Atlantis, or something? And anyway, that wouldn’t make any sense because the Atlantians did it to themselves with their own stupid laziness. And that was when Spencer spoke up again.
“Wh-what’s wrong with me?!” Damien replied, astonished. Why would anyone ask such a thing!? He loved Spencer, and if he had wanted to say what had happened, he would have. But, unfortunately, he didn’t want to tell anyone about this horrible, painful thing that happened to him. He ripped his hands from the angel’s grasp, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. Dammit, Damien! Don’t get all weepy now. It would be pointless, and it wouldn’t make much sense. Well, actually, it would make a good bit of sense. Go ahead, cry your eyes out. But Damien didn’t let a tear fall from those watery crimson eyes.
“You want to know what’s wrong with me?” he asked again, oblivious to how stupid his reaction was, and to the reaction that he was getting from Spencer. “Fine, then! I’ll tell you what’s wrong. When I was little, my father abused my brother and I. He sexually abused us, Spencer. Now, both of us have developed a memory problem that’s probably worse than MPD, and we’re afraid of practically everything about the human body. Neither of us can even hold a relationship that long because of what happened!!”
By now, tears were slipping from his eyes despite how he tried to stop them. Every moment or so, he would swipe them away in frustration. “God... I’m sorry, Spencer,” he said, and turned away from the boy, pushing the door open and practically running out the room, and down the hall. The stairs were the hard part though, but, somehow, he managed to get down them fairly quickly for him, and was out on the grounds in no time at all. It wasn’t as bright as it had been earlier, but it wasn’t yet sundown. So, he ran through the front gates, ignoring a teacher whom called after him, and ended up God-knows-where. Some sort of club, or something of the like. Not the place that one would expect a seventeen-year-old boy to hang out at.
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 12:18 am
Damien's reply wasn't what Spencer had hoped for, but he deserved it. It was rude to have asked the question the way he did, or to have even asked it, period. But it was something he really wanted to know. What was it that was keeping Damien from him? His eyes looked down as their hands were torn apart, and he let out a soft sigh, shaking his head. "I didn't mean it that way.." He muttered. Please.. Don't cry.. He thought, eyes glancing up to the others, guilt sparkling in his own. He couldn't stand to see people cry.. Especially those he cared for.
The truth hit him like their first kiss had. Except that had been a good thing, while this, this was something much worse. Sexually abused? He had heard of that sort of thing on television, in movies, but had never really met someone to whom it had happened to. Not only that, but it was a father abusing his son. Actually, he found it amazing that Damien was a homosexual, after all that. If he were in his position, he would never want to be near a male again.
"Dai.." He whispered helplessly, fighting tears of his own. He didn't want to cry, but he feared he might. He hadn't realized how serious his condition was, and how much his past affected him now. The tears gently kissing the other's skin was killing him inside, though he just stayed frozen, unable to speak. His lips trembled, trying to form apologetic words, but it just came out as a series of soft whimpers. He should have seen what was coming next, and with that the boy ran off, out the door.
"Damien!" He called out after him, right before the door to his dorm closed shut. He dug his fingers into his brown hair, closing his eyes in frustration and spinning around in small circles, slowly. He muttered words under his breath, mostly describing his anger for his choice of actions. If he had only waited to change his shirt.. But, what was done was done. He fell onto his bed, rolled onto his back, and stared up at the ceiling as tears streamed down the sides of his face. "What have I done.." He whispered, shaking his head. It hadn't even been a day, and already Damien was gone. Already, he had left. Already, he felt terribly alone.
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The Pancake Conspiracy Crew
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:27 pm
“Get me something strong. Don’t care what,” Damien grumbled when he approached the bar, flopping himself down on a barstool. They weren’t going to ask for I.D., of course. It was a college party, and what likely private, so why would then need to know ages? Anyway, the man behind the counter probably wouldn’t have asked with how much he was busy with.
“How much ya got?” the man asked gruffly, cocking a brow at the boy he hadn’t yet seen inside the building. Damien threw his wallet down on the counter after sifting through his pockets a bit.
“However-much is in there,” he snapped, as the man wandered off, counting the money he’d been given. There was probably a good thirty-seven dollars in there. Under normal circumstances, that money would have gone to clothing and whatever else he would need to survive in his school. But it wasn’t everyday that an alcoholic, bisexual, seventeen-year-old ran out on his boyfriend after telling him his deepest, darkest secret, so the money was going toward liver failure and an early death that evening.
“Had a bad day, kid?” a man on the chair beside him asked, looking with slightly glossy eyes at Damien. Apparently, he had noted Damien’s age much better than the bartender had, hence calling him ‘kid’. Also, Dai figured, he had been drinking since a young age as well, or he would have said something about Damien’s poor choice in life.
Speaking of the boy, he scoffed. “Geez, that’s the understatement of the century.” The bartender returned with a shot glass and a smallish, wine-like bottle. Damien didn’t bother himself to read anything on the label, or to acknowledge the existence of the shot glass, and instead drank straight from the bottle. The drink tore down his throat, feeling as though it was setting his insides aflame. Yep. That was definitely what he had wanted when he’d said he wanted something strong. He gave a moment for his stomach to settle, then drank down another mouthful.
“Woah, kid,” the man said, settling wide eyes on the boy beside him. “You should take it easy with that stuff.”
“I don’t tell you how to live your life,” Damien growled, taking yet another drink. He knew that he should be listening to this stranger, but he didn’t anyway. He knew that it was only going to be a few moments before he was lost all common sense.
Sure enough, he was soon prattling on and on to the man beside him about Spencer and his brother and tons of other things that had no relevance to anything. By that time, he wasn’t even finished with his drink. Just as he went to take another swig of the beverage, he found it swiped from his hands. “Hey! Gimme that” -hic- “Gimme that back!”
“Kid, this-” the man was cut off, though he kept the bottle as far away from Damien as he could. The boy was practically trying to climb over him to get to his drink.
“I payed good money for that! And my” -hic- “My name’s not kid, it’s Damien.” He still struggled to get to the bottle.
“Yeah, and you’ll get it back later!” The man took a discarded bag from the counter and stuffed Damien’s drink into it, after fastening the lid to it securely. “Where are you staying, anyway?”
“I’m stay” -hic- “staying at Sinful Wings. ‘Sat old school some’ere, now gim” -hic- “Gimme my drink back!”
“Not on your life,” the man mumbled, pulling the stubborn Damien to his feet. Leading him out the door, the pair somehow made it to the school and up to the dorm hallway without being caught or getting lost. Automatically, Damien ran -or stumbled- down the hall until he was in front of Spencer’s room. The man followed, curious about this upcoming encounter.
“Spencer!” Damien whined, leaning on the door while he pounded it with the palm of his hand. “I’m so” -hic- “I’m so sorry, Spe~ence!” He was crying, but he probably didn’t know it. And even if he did, it wasn’t going to last long. He wouldn’t remember much come the next morning.
The man ran a hand through his scraggledy, black-yellow hair. He sighed, and shook his head. It was always sad to see a drunken teenager, especially in such a depressed state, and at such an intensity. And when the door was opened, he would look up and pass a weak smile. “Thought you may have wanted this one back sometime tonight. You’re Spencer, I take it?”
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