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I want to literally die. People are just on my last nerve until the point I want to sit down and cry. I'm truly not in the place to be happy, and I dont think I will be anytime soon matter of fact. Drama is the only thing happening in my life, and I want to scream at everyone to leave me the f**k alone. Everyone's like, "OMFG! DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?!" dies. I don't want to have to hear anymore, "i love him though..." or "god. i'm so f**king depressed." It's all too annoying. I have my own problems to deal with right now.

How? Because one of my good friends, Stephanie, decided to back stab me and date the guy, Jeremy, I've liked for about five months. That literally made me fall into tiny little pieces. I cried, and cried. Sometimes my eyes still get watery from the s**t, but right now, they're relationship is falling apart. Jeremy's flirting with other girls, me being one of them, and he erased I LOVE off his hand. It did say I LOVE STEPHANIE. Then it just said, "Stephanie." Steph wrote it on his hand, and he lied, saying it came off, when Carly and I watched him lick it off.... on purpose. So I felt bad because he barely talks to Stephanie anymore, and all of the sudden, we're best friends again. Back off Jeremy. You're not the one I'm that fond of. I mean, some days I LOVE him, like today, and then others, I wish he'd die. But today he was really nice, and I was so happy.

Karen and Jon go out... starting the day Carly broke it off with him because he basically cheated on her. I don't know why, but Karen is being a b***h to Carly. So now I'm not a true friend? Eh, who cares. Not my loss. Not hers. If she wants it that way, she can have it that way. I'm not sad. If it was Carly I lost, then I'd be sad. Carly's probably my sister.

So I cut one day. Myself. I hated it. I cried while I did it, and it wasn't super deep, let alone deep at all. I have a little scar from it, but it's nothing special. People know I did it, because I told them. I just can't take s**t anymore. I'm loosing weight. People think it's because I'm dieting, it's really because I haven't eaten barely at all. I eat lunch, and some dinner. I drink about 100 tons of water, and that's it. I've been living off water. It's my new drug.

And as hard as I have to say this... I think I might be falling for Jon. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME, GOD! God. I couldn't bare to do that. It'd start to much s**t. I mean, I've stopped myself from liking him about five or six times now. It's because I don't want to hurt Carly. Carly's liked him for about 2 years, and I can't just go "HEY! I LOVE JON<3333" No. It's not going to work out that way. I need to keep liking Jeremy, and mind my own business icon_smile.gif It's the way to be.

Well I'm off. Night.

D'aww *hugs* crying heart
Hopefully things get better.