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 Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:53 pm
There are two sayings about relationships.
Like attracts like.
Opposites attract.
I was just in the shower, thinking (because I think good in the shower XD) about my two (real, serious) past relationships, and then about my current situation with Jesse.
This might get long, so really you can skip down to the discussion lol I am just giving my own story for reference. And because I feel like talking. XD
First, there is Ruth. So far the only woman I've gone out with. She and I were best friends for years. We were exactly the same. We wore the same types of clothes, hated the same people, loved the same video games and movies, loved the same animals. We were like twins. We had the same views.
That relationship got so bloody boring after two weeks, even though we both cared deeply for each other.
Then, there was Mitch. We were as opposite as opposites can get. I was poor, he was rich. I was anti-social, but a party animal. He hated parties, but loved still to be social.*(I'll explain how that works in a minute.) My family loved him, his family hated me. He was good in school, I dropped out and got my GED. He knew what he wanted to do with his life, I couldn't decide.
That relationship was frustrating. Neither one of us wanted to compromise.
Now, there is Jesse. We have a lot in common.. and we also have a lot that we don't share. We like some of the same music, some of the same movies. I'm more shy and quiet, he's loud and outgoing. He has a harsh sense of humour, but I like it - when he doesn't go too far. He doesn't like kids, but I love them... and understand his dislike. I hated kids at that age, too.
I think a relationship with him (if ever it happens) would be both exciting and familiar. Something that both of us could grow with.
Now that I've rambled on and on... XD
* When I say that I am an anti-social party animal, I mean this: I hate people. Pure and simple. However, if it's in a party scene.. I'm okay. I like the party interaction, but I don't like to just hang out with people, unless it's a few close friends. Mitch was the opposite. He loved to hang out with his friends but he hated parties and the like.
-> For those of you who have someone in their lives: Are they your opposite, a mirror image, or somewhere comfortably inbetween.
-> On your past relationships: Have the people in your past been like each other, or have you bounced between opposite and like?
-> For those of you not in a relationship, or have never been in one, what kind of people do you feel you're more attracted to, or will be?
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 3:01 pm
My fiance and I have absolutely nothing in common. Nothing at all. However, we've shown one another new things which resulted in learning new hobbies, etc. And even though we're so completely different, we get along amazingly well. We teach each other things and it's never boring. I've known him almost two years and am still learning things about him I never knew. Yet, I know him better than anyone else.
So while many totally opposite couples don't work, some do. It all depends on the parties involved.
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 4:03 pm
Back when I was single, I almost always ended up with someone the complete opposite of me. And within a few weeks, we were at each other's throats!
There were a couple who were the exact same as me... and after a few weeks, I wanted to set my own hair aflame, just for the excitement!
Then, there's now... with my Saew. biggrin Not the same by any means, but not the polar opposite. I'd say it's darn near a 50-50 thing (50% alike, 50% opposite).
And with that I have learned.... it's usually best to have SOME things in common, but not be clones of each other. Have enough in common so you have aren't killing each other, but have your own interests so you have things to talk about and aren't so bored you want to cry. 3nodding
At least that's what works for me, anyway!
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 4:05 pm
We're both alike and very different. Jim, my fiance, is a year younger than I am.
Different: I graduated High School with honors and am working toward a B.A. in Social Work (just a year and half more baby!). Jim dropped out of High School and is working on his G.E.D. (However his reason was to come live with me... he was never interested in school.) He likes horror movies, I like romantic ones. He likes playing on the PS2 I like to play on the computer. He likes to stay at home, I like to go out. He was raised by his mother (diovorced) along with his brother in a one bedroom apartment, I grew up in a military family with both parents and 2 sisters usually in a 3-4 bedroom house. He's from the west I'm from the south.
Alike: We're both very commited. We both enjoy being alone with one another and talking. We both enjoy cooking for the other. We're both semi wandering when it comes to the ambition department. We both like comedy. We're both interested in anime and new age things. We both love animals, especially cats. We both love Pizza.
Compromises: He thinks my renissance reenactment is Gay, but he comes with me and even dresses up sometimes. I'll watch horror with him as long as he holds my hand and promises not to pop out from a dark corner later and scare me. He watches romantic movies with me sometimes, even rents them for me and he actually likes What Women Want and Benny and Joon. We go out at least 2 nights, and to the mall to shop, and some nights we stay in. He listens, I talk. He's promised to get his GED by the time I graduate and hopefully by the time we're married. He wasn't into kids, but he thinks in a few years maybe we could have one, just one. And a lot more...
What it boils down to is having some things in common to have a basis to start out on, but not be so different that you won't ever have any middle ground. To have a lasting relationship you need to have friendship, love and laughter. They also need to annoy the piss out of you on ocassion but never too often and the make up sex should be great wink
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 4:07 pm
Phaedra Lycoris Back when I was single, I almost always ended up with someone the complete opposite of me. And within a few weeks, we were at each other's throats!
After Mitch and I broke up, Lisa (the friend) and I became good friends again. We know now, though, that because we're so much alike, we can't be friends like we were, because we'll end up at each other's throats again.. so we only talk online, and if we happen to run into each other at the store or something, we hug and say our hello's and how are ya's, and that's about as far as it goes.
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 4:28 pm
My last relationship was the most boring thing ever. He was so ******** simple. I like puzzles, and at first, he was a contradiction wrapped in an enigma, but that was all surface level. Once I figured one thing out, everything else came easy.
We had almost nothing in common.
There was this girl I had a semi-relationship with. Semi, as in, she was cheating on her boyfriend with me. We had a lot of things in common. I wasn't so much bored as -sick- of her after a while. Probably because I hate who I am, we were alike in a lot of ways, and if I knew me, I'd probably get sick of myself.
I think 50-50 is a good mix. *nods*
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 6:31 pm
Blind Insight They also need to annoy the piss out of you on ocassion but never too often and the make up sex should be great wink
Saew's younger than me too, but quite a bit more than a year.
My motto: "Get 'em young, train 'em right!!"
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 6:37 pm
cerebral ulcer I had a friend, who was exactly like me. We got along /great/, until I started dating her ex (that would be Mitch). From there on out, it was full-on psychological warfare between us. Oh, sure, we were polite on the outside, but ******** if we weren't absolutely killing each other with mindgames.
After Mitch and I broke up, Lisa (the friend) and I became good friends again. We know now, though, that because we're so much alike, we can't be friends like we were, because we'll end up at each other's throats again.. so we only talk online, and if we happen to run into each other at the store or something, we hug and say our hello's and how are ya's, and that's about as far as it goes.
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 7:35 pm
Blind Insight What it boils down to is having some things in common to have a basis to start out on, but not be so different that you won't ever have any middle ground. To have a lasting relationship you need to have friendship, love and laughter. They also need to annoy the piss out of you on ocassion but never too often and the make up sex should be great wink Exactly what I was thinking. I've been interested mostly in guys who were a lot like me, even in looks.... sweatdrop But there always seems to come a time where we get really bored with one another. My bf I have now and I cannot really stand to be bored. We are always trying to do something and if not...we sit, watch a movie, or read together (when he's around, long distance relationship here). We like the same things but we can become adventurous...but we do that together. All in all it really doesn't matter how alike or how different you are. The time you spend together is what matters...weither doing things you both enjoy, one of you enjoys, or neither of you enjoys. We talk about the things we do. It is always fun with him...no matter what we do. 3nodding But I will say...it is easier to get along with someone who has the same values you do. If I dated a Satan worshipper...I don't think we would have as much fun...no matter how open I try to be. confused
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 7:38 pm
my ex and i were almost complete opposite. however, it turns out that we had so little in common that we really couldn't relate to each other at all
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 8:35 pm
Jinnari But I will say...it is easier to get along with someone who has the same values you do. If I dated a Satan worshipper...I don't think we would have as much fun...no matter how open I try to be. confused
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 8:38 pm
Phaedra Lycoris cerebral ulcer I had a friend, who was exactly like me. We got along /great/, until I started dating her ex (that would be Mitch). From there on out, it was full-on psychological warfare between us. Oh, sure, we were polite on the outside, but ******** if we weren't absolutely killing each other with mindgames.
After Mitch and I broke up, Lisa (the friend) and I became good friends again. We know now, though, that because we're so much alike, we can't be friends like we were, because we'll end up at each other's throats again.. so we only talk online, and if we happen to run into each other at the store or something, we hug and say our hello's and how are ya's, and that's about as far as it goes.
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 8:48 pm
I've had both. I've had people incredibly different from me, and that was alright, but it didn't work so well.
On the other hand, I know someone who likes me, but we are so alike that it annoys me to talk to him. He's just like me. It's the most annoying thing in the world, even though imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
I need someone in the middle, I guess. Someone who I have things in common with, but not someone who is trying to become me.
Gosh, I'm dificult. xD
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:04 pm
Phaedra Lycoris Blind Insight They also need to annoy the piss out of you on ocassion but never too often and the make up sex should be great wink
Saew's younger than me too, but quite a bit more than a year.
My motto: "Get 'em young, train 'em right!!" *laughs* Well I just tell it how I see it. Younger men are definately the way to go biggrin
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:34 pm
Blind Insight Phaedra Lycoris Blind Insight They also need to annoy the piss out of you on ocassion but never too often and the make up sex should be great wink
Saew's younger than me too, but quite a bit more than a year.
My motto: "Get 'em young, train 'em right!!" *laughs* Well I just tell it how I see it. Younger men are definately the way to go biggrin
Yes, younger men are most definitely the way to go!! After all, they need to be able to keep up with us spunky gals, you know wink
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