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 Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 10:36 pm
So, the other day i was hanging out with my gay friend at Starbucks. While I was there he introduced me to some of his friends, all of them gay. He introduced me to this one guy, Brian. And, i felt kind of attracted to him when i first met him. he seemed quiet and mysterious. He wasn't too feminine. He looked sorta like Johnny Depp. Basically, my type of guy.
Anyway, about halfway into our conversation, he mentioned that he was a male-to-female transsexual.
This completely threw me off, because he hardly acted feminine at all (one of the gay guys there was way more feinine than him). But the weirdest part for me was, I found myself even more attracted to him afterwards...
But I identify myself as gay. But he's technically a girl brain in a guys body. So, what does that make me?
What does everyone else think? Is it possible to be gay and attracted to someone who is pre-op transgendered?
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 6:37 am
Wow, I'm really not an expert on this but my guess is there are many levls of attractiong. There's physical attraction which is visual, so you could be attracted to her male body. But there's also emotional attraction which I guess can be a gender neutral thing, which your attracted to who they are as a person. I'm not sure that's my theory. I could be very wrong.
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 9:32 am
|You have just been punjabbed|
There's nothing that says that someone who identifies as gay can't have a perfectly good heterosexual relationship. Bakatulip did have a good explanation. Do you know about the Kinsey scale? You might just be a five on it. You can love the person you want to love no matter what.
|Have a nice day!|
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 10:35 am
welcometomyhell |You have just been punjabbed|
There's nothing that says that someone who identifies as gay can't have a perfectly good heterosexual relationship. Bakatulip did have a good explanation. Do you know about the Kinsey scale? You might just be a five on it. You can love the person you want to love no matter what.
|Have a nice day!| Also Sexual Orientation, Sexual Identity, and Sexual Activity are three different things. Someone who is partially closeted could be gay, identify as bi, and have sex only with the opposite gender. I remember reading an article about a lesbian couple and one of them was female to male pre-op but then had surgery and the one who was a woman said something along the lines of her orientation didn't change, she just got used to the new body of the person she loved.
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 1:59 pm
BakaTulip welcometomyhell |You have just been punjabbed|
There's nothing that says that someone who identifies as gay can't have a perfectly good heterosexual relationship. Bakatulip did have a good explanation. Do you know about the Kinsey scale? You might just be a five on it. You can love the person you want to love no matter what.
|Have a nice day!| Also Sexual Orientation, Sexual Identity, and Sexual Activity are three different things. Someone who is partially closeted could be gay, identify as bi, and have sex only with the opposite gender. I remember reading an article about a lesbian couple and one of them was female to male pre-op but then had surgery and the one who was a woman said something along the lines of her orientation didn't change, she just got used to the new body of the person she loved. Mmm I've been wondering about that myself cause my girlfriend semi picks around about wanting a sex change. That's a good way to look at it. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 2:47 pm
I think it's incredibally possible, because the same thing happened to me with a female-to-male person. Sometimes, it's just how you know them, and how their personality is.
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The Committee Staff Gaian
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 6:36 pm
I think that you could be attracted to someone based on their personality.
I haven't had any experience with that, but I believe that it's possible for anyone (including me) to love someone that's like that.
Just because you identify yourself as gay doesn't mean that someone like a male-to-female person is out of the picture, you know ?
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Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:06 pm
The Kensey theroy! Wheee!
Naw, I kinda know what you're going through hun. I'll sometimes find myself attracted to men, but solely on an emotional and mentally level - it gets confusing. Sexuality is so frigin' complicated and tricky, but just because you identify as gay doesn't mean you can't love women (or pre-op). As for being more attracted to him after knowing that, maybe it's the extra femininity you now see in him?
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 9:03 pm
I think attraction is attraction no matter what it is. Even if he is a pre-op male=female. I watched a special on that once where a women's husband had the surgry and became a women and they were still together, yet she never stated if she idenfity as a lesbian now that her husband was her wife.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:50 am
I actually know someone in that situation and it doesnt seem even they know how its works out just that it does. The women had always considered herself a lesbian until she fell in love with a pre-op ftm. She had some identity issues at first but together they worked most everything out. Hes legally male now and they're still together. She said rescently that its still slightly confusing because except for him she is still only attracted to women, but that she loves him and wouldn't want to lose him. So yeah, i think its possible.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:24 pm
man, that's tricky lol
i kno wutcha mean. i like girls, but if the girl i loved ever got a change i wouldn't stop liking her b/c you love the person, not the body. but then everyone's all "WELL THEN WHY WON'T YOU DATE GUYS IF YOU GO FOR PERSONALITY??"! 'n i'm like "idk sweatdrop ...."
i'm great @ discussions, ne xd ;;?? lolz
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 8:41 pm
why not? You fall in love with the soul, not the body. The body is just the cherry, whipped cream and sprinkles on top.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 8:44 pm
Shmoo-Chan I think attraction is attraction no matter what it is. Even if he is a pre-op male=female. I watched a special on that once where a women's husband had the surgry and became a women and they were still together, yet she never stated if she idenfity as a lesbian now that her husband was her wife. are they still legally married? if so, then now I know the loop hole to marriage! (oh man that is just horrible...*erases thought*)
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 6:53 pm
Harry Hood But I identify myself as gay. But he's technically a girl brain in a guys body. So, what does that make me?
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 3:00 pm
In this case I think it might be better to simply look beyond pre-imposed labels and simply see the situation for what it is: attraction. There's nothing wrong with it and the more you think about the exterior mechanics of it, the more it will make your brain hurt. pirate
(I spent about ten minutes reading and rereading the post before I decided to comment because I was trying to run through the lines and scenarios in my head...it literally made it hurt a bit...)
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