Gaians have been going absolutely wild with conspiracy nuttiness regarding Gaia's most famous man, millionaire actor Ron Bruise. What's with Ron and his apparent love of the number 19? Is it mere coincidence, or evidence of something larger? What does 19 mean, if it means anything at all? To lend more weight to the already shocking evidence, allow me to delve into Ron Bruise's personal biography and bring light to some shocking facts:
* Ron Bruise owns 19 chinchillas.
* Ron Bruise owns exactly 19 shoes. "But that's an odd number of shoes," you might say; "shouldn't there be a 20th shoe?" That's exactly what he wants you to think.
* When Ron Bruise was 19 years old, he fell out of a tree and broke his right collarbone in 19 places; he was hospitalized for 19 days, and 19 doctors attended to him. He ran up a bill of $19,000.
* Ron Bruise has TEN fingers and TEN toes, but there is only ONE Ron Bruise. TEN plus TEN minus ONE is… you guessed it!
* Ron Bruise blows Mariah Carey out of the water with his ear-shattering 19-octave vocal range. He can sing high enough that only dogs can hear it, and low enough to guide errant ships through the fog.
* When we went through Ron Bruise's trash, we found 19 discarded back-issues of Field & Stream.
* I don't have enough time to write 19 of these facts, but just pretend I did (and go nuts about it!)
Nah, now that I think about it, that's all probably just coincidence
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