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 Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:15 pm
k I'm broke, it's just... no, I can't do it anymore. Life no longer has any meaning, no point, nothing. I have barely eaten in 4 days. The only thing I have left is wakeing up in the morning, going to school, do my work, get maybe a few laughs in lunch or in technology class with my friends, go home get on the computer and just stare at the screen and hope that my friend with get on so we can chat(but she's been gettin on less and less lately), feel depressed, do the dishes, take a bath, go to bed, wake up and do the same danm thing again. I just can't do it anymore I have to do something diffrent so or I just may go to sleep and refuse to wake up. I hurt inside and out and my mom is starting to worry about me. Great now I have her worried, no good can come from that. I have no social life so I can't exactly go out and have fun with some friends and feel better. Has anyone ever, ever felt like this?! If so please tell me how and if you got through it cause I just can't take it!!!
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Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:32 pm
Man I remeber when I was in that phase.
But you know, I'm not sure if you care or will consider what I think but:
Life is very long and goes through time very fast. All of the sorrows that we embrace may seem painful, but as I was told by my dad things will fall into place.
I'm 19. I always thought that I should be doing what 19 year olds do, like love, work, freinds. I hardly have freinds because of there " non commitment." I don't have a lover I'm just like you I get up for school and thats all I look foward too. surprised
But anyways. You shouldn't ruin your life because things feel dull. Its okay to feel sad, feel pain, but don't ruin your life.
And please. please eat that won't solve anything either.
I did that and when I was really hungry last minute, I finally benged and gained weight because of the hunger that I needed to compansated for.
eh, but anyways please feel well soon. I'm here if you ever want to talk personally. Because i know first hand of suffering and the emptness that I feel. wink
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Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:38 pm
I feel desperate but not enough to harm my body. I thought many times of it.
But what I did to surpass it was to think of all of the things that I will accomplish once I graduate from school.
All of the things that I don't have now -which is mainly nothing- I will get in the future because I know I will get my career someday and be able to achieve that future hapiness.
Every night what sometimes help is to cry myself to sleep. I just think of all of the bad things that happened to me and then wept in my sleep then smile and think Things will happen soon I don't know what but it will.
even that simple faith I have well it helps because it is better than nothing.
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:37 pm
Well after luch to day,(of course I didn't eat anything) I wet to the school nurse, cause I felt like something was seriously wrong. My puls was kinda fast, my chest hurt, and I felt weak. So she called my mom and she picked me up from school and took me somewere to eat and this time I did eat, it wasn't really that much but it was more that I had eaten all weak. Then she took me to the emergency room to see my grandpa, turns out to day may be his last. He's stoped responding, but he can still hear you, though I don't think he could understand anything we were saying, he was just too far gone. I feel a lil better now but not much.
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Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 2:24 am
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Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 2:25 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 5:06 am
Let's just say I got a little depressed once and swallowed liquid paper. Don't ask why.
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 10:46 am
It really hurts to feel like that. I pretended to be happy all the time, but then the slightest thing would set me off into depression again. A little "incident" happened at school one day and it made my mom come to school so the council could suggest phsychiatric help. Not the best day, but I THINK I'm getting better out of it.
Phsychiatrists aren't always asking you questions and saying "and how does that make you feel?", they just let you talk about whatever. Which my phsychiatrist told me can be therapy within itself. It's actually kind of nice, anything can go in the room, nothing comes out of the room. It just puts everything out in the open and get unbiased advice. The phsychiatrist also said writting stuff down helps a lot. So she encourages me to write the things I do, even if I don't read any of it to her even though I know I can.
So I hope you feel better knowing you're not alone in this sort of thing.
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