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 Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 8:32 am
Ametris
Welcome to my story.
As a writer, I believe that every single writer, poet, lyricist, or artist creates a million works perhaps in their lifetime, but none as special as Their Book, Their Song, Their Painting. Every artist, whether working with words, paint, or meter, has one book that they are destined to write, one sculpture that they are destined to create, some Work that will tear out pieces of their heart and bare them on the pages, on the canvas. It becomes the Work of a lifetime, the one thign you will always look back on and remember very, very clearly; remember what it was, what it was going to be. It doesn't matter if you hate it or love it. It doesn't matter if you're nine or ninety when you create it. It is you, it is your HeartStory.
Ametris is mine. It's the second novel I've written so far. I started it when I was 13, finished when I was 15; about twenty months of effort. All worth it. The story is one that fills my dreams with beauty, violence, color, meaning; for the longest time, this story was all I lived for. Ametris is book one of seven; for now I've lost my way in book two, and I don't know if I'll ever try writing it again, but it won't leave me alone until I do.
Warning: If you are sensitive to minor language, mild racism, heavy violence and emotional upheaval, find another book.
If not, read on.
The Table of Contents is below, showing which chapters are on which pages--there are thirty chapters and thirty tpoic pages, but there's not necessarily one chapter per page, I can be incredibly lazy sometimes.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Part One: Peace and Peril
First two rewritten chapters are on topic page 29.
Chapter One: Wings of Gold (3 installments)page 1 Meet Kamile and Everan, elfin twins, eight days from their eleventh birthday. They live in Kocha, the elfin capital of Ametris, which is a very unusual country--three millennia ago, after a huge war, it was bestowed an eternal gift of peace by one of the many nameless deities. It seems like nothing bad could ever happen there.
Chapter Two: Lost Soul page 2 Another place and time--in the dead of winter, the queen of an unknown country performs a magic experiment that has fatal results.
Chapter Three: Midsummer page 2 Happy midsummer! Only seven days left until Kamile and Everan turn eleven. It turns out that they live alone, and they are their own best--and only--friends. But it doesn't seem to bother them at all. Also, they are now engaged.
Chapter Four: Just A Little Strange page 2 Only six days left. Kamile and Everan learn some crucial lessons about anatomy--or at least, they sit the class--and Kamile finds a birthday present for Everan. Everan is now in possession of something that he's keeping a secret--what could it be?
Chapter Five: An Interesting Development page 3 Somewhere far away, an entirely different queen, the ruler of the elves, and her messenger have a conversation about the war in their country, which is going terribly for them. They apparently could use a chosen, the heroes of Ametris and everybody else, or so it seems. A flashback of Kamile's explains why they live by themselves, and what life used to be like for them. In the present, with only three days left until their birthday, Kamile has a terrifying dream, which Everan disregards but is too ominous to ignore.
Chapter Six: Forbidden and Forgotten page 3 Marli teaches some very illuminating lessons on the nature of the four Ametrisan races--elves, humans, merpeople, dwarves--and the obvious is irrefutably reinforced: Everan is a total genius and Kamile is a loveable klutz. It also turns out that their teacher has many secrets of her own, besides the fact that she is only fifteen, and to top it all, the queen of the distant country has attained more clues to her troubling deepmost desire--to find out everything she can about Ametris.
Chapter Seven: Birthday (3 installments) page 4, 7, 10 Happy birthday at last! By some amazing coincidence, the annual festival celebrating Ametris's gift of peace is today as well. Kamile and Everan have the time of their lives, despite earning the merpeople's hatred and the ridicule of every races' kids, not to mention being hugged and kissed by their surrogate mother. They get more food and birthday presents (four altogether!) than they ever have in their lives. But when the sun goes down and they are about to exchange their own presents, a mysterious woman comes out of nowhere, midway through stealing Ametris's most treasured artifact--it's the queen of the distant country, who's made her way to Ametris at last!
Chapter Eight: End of the World page 10 The world can end in four pages. It can, and oftentimes it will. Everything you know is ripped away, and everything you love is gone forever, in just four short pages.
Chapter Nine: Escape page 13 Kamile's all alone, revenge driving her to continue the fight with the queen--but she loses and is left for dead while the city burns and everyone runs.
Chapter Ten: Aftermath page 14 It starts to rain--almost all of the people managed to run away, but too many were left behind. They are all waiting for the city's leaders to arrive and lead them to safety, but the only place to go is back to the destroyed city. Meanwhile, Marli is beating herself up for leaving everyone behind, and when Kamile and Everan's adopted mother sees that they are missing, she, the teacher, and the librarian go to rescue them. But they can only find Kamile, who is in worse shape than they ever imagined.
Chapter Eleven: Worse Than Dead (2 installments) page 15 Kamile is rescued and brought to the library, where all the people are staying until they have a place to go, but even though she is close to death she is forced to run away when the leader of her city blames her for the fire.
Chapter Twelve: Sacrifices page 15 Though many want to chase after her, only their adopted mother manages to follow Kamile, but she is carried back hours later, gravely injured. Kamile is still out there, running as far as she can before she collapses, and when or if she wakes up, she might not be the same as she was before.
Chapter Thirteen: Major Setbacks page 17 Kamile is gone from the story, and everyone knows it. Kayle and Marli continue worrying about her until new things get in the way--plans for the city's development, frightening premonitions, and something Marli has been hiding for a long, long time, that may decide the fate of Ametris forever.
Chapter Fourteen: Back to School page 17 In a fit of grief, Kamile, who had been unconscious for three days, tears her home apart and leaves it forever. Meanwhile, Marli and Kayle clean out the well and refill it with clear water, and Marli makes a new friend. School resumes, though the schoolhouse is destroyed--while helping Marli to rebuild, the remaining children find Kamile hiding under the rubble, in possibly the worst place she could ever be.
Chapter Fifteen: Healing (2 installments)page 17 Kamile's back at school, safe from Elder Srai--but she is still surrounded by enemies, newfound in her own class. Still murderously angry with her, the enraged students go after her...Marli intervenes, but there's no stopping it. Their only hope now is to prove that Kamile is innocent...which suddenly seems a lot more possible.
Chapter Sixteen: From a Fireside Talepage 18 Kamile and Marli venture into town, and calamity ensues: Kamile meets a girl cursed with the red plague, whose brother is trying to kill the would-be arsonist, and then runs into Elder Srai. Though failing to convince her, Marli reveals crucial secrets proving Kamile's innocence--Kamile is given one more chance to leave Kocha forever before she is forced to, or worse. After a disastrous visit to Pilori, it becomes clear, by the light of the moon in the graveyard, that something with Kamile is not quite right.
Chapter Seventeen: Tortured Hell (2 installments)page 20 Kamile is in trouble. She insists on going to school no matter what, but the other students have banded together under the leadership of Vix, a boy with brains and a grudge who can't rest until Kamile is dead. They've resolved to make her life hell until they can kill her, but at the last moment Vix backs out--and yet Kamile still isn't safe.
Chapter Eighteen: Executionpage 21 Vix decides that, whatever Kamile might have done, he will forgive her for the sake of his sister, but he is too late--the other children carry out his plan to kill Kamile without him. Though their efforts fall just short of success, Kamile is blamed yet again--and banished.
Chapter Nineteen: Corpse pages 23, 24 The end is near--but what will it bring? The death of hatred, of evil--or of Kamile? Cast away from anything to call home, Kamile drifts through the forest, lost and alone, with Vix following her trail, determined to save his sister. Marli resumes school, everyone goes back to their lives--but when faced with the girl who--they think--destroyed the very gift of peace bestowed upon Ametris, can they control their urge to spread the violence further--to kill?
Chapter Twenty: Honesty pages 24, 25 Near dead, Kamile is found by a familiar face who admits to being her grandfather. He takes her to his home and, with Marli, tells her everything about herself that she should have known from the start. About her parents, about Everan, about the chosen...but it isn't enough to save her.
End Part One
Chapter Twenty-One: Amends page 25 With the truth finally out, Ametris has finally connected the dots--all now know who's really to blame. And when the sorceress herself turns up, with fatal results, the truth is set in stone--but how much is left to tell? And how much can they believe?
Part Two: Light and Shadow
Chapter Twenty-Two: White( two installments) page 25 Everan is back and apparently NOT dead--in fact, he's perfectly fine, just a little cold. He and Kamile have landed in the middle of a strange forest in the dead of winter, with no knowledge of direction, location, or how to survive. That and Kamile is very, very sick; she doesn't recognize him, she is wounded, she has endless nightmares, she can't speak, she doesn't eat and she's too weak even to walk. Everan begins to feel again, as he always has, that this is all too much for one eleven-year-old to bear.
Chapter Twenty-Three: A Chosen's Aid (two installments)page 26 Stumbling across a strange elfin woman, Raena, in the forest, who happens to be all at once their cousin, Marli's sister, and courier to the queen of the elves, the twins are taken in as Raena tells them all about this new world, the exact opposite of their own: Sirtema, Ametris's mirror image, only Sirtema was created first. After the war, it was copied, and Ametris was born. However meaningful it is to Everan--Sirtema's future, he knows, directly involves their fate--he decided to concentrate on Kamile, who does not respond to food, heat, or medicine and only has so long before she can't take any more.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Awakeningpage 26 The twins find refuge in Raena's best friend Nara's welcoming home; Nara has a daughter their age, is a proficient magi, and is more than capable of fixing both of them up. Or so she says. But Kamile gets increasingly worse, and no one will tell Everan what's wrong--she's covered in scars he's never seen before and she just won't wake up. After so long away from her, is the only greeting he receives turning into a farewell?
Chapter Twenty-Five: Revelations (3 installments) page 26, 27 Kamile awakens and at once explores her new world, adjusting slowly as she discovers the strange differences between Sirtema and Ametris. She plays their games, wages war against carrots, and makes a pet out of herself all day, but finally it is inevitable: Everan has to tell the truth...and so does she.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Wishful Thinking (2 installments) page 27 Everan can't bear the truth, and runs away. Though not for long; he has to come back sometime, as it's cold and snowing outside. But finding his way back is another matter altogether, for the forest here is not like the one he knows. Kamile breaks down and refuses to let anyone touch her until Everan returns, but will he?
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Royal Concerns (2 installments) page 27 The queen of Sirtema is a dictator, a tyrant, a controlling and frightening woman with limitless power and an unsatisfiable urge to destroy, kill, know all the secrets of the world, and most of all, to find the chosen. But who is she? None other than the woman that sent them to Sirtema in the first place, the one who had led them straight into her trap. Kamile and Everan are safe from her nowhere: in Ametris or Sirtema, she is looking for them. What can they do but surrender...or fight?
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Simea (2 installments)page 27 The twins are going to fight until they kill the sorceress who holds both worlds between her bloody fingernails...but they know, and so does everyone else, that they are nowhere close to strong enough. So they travel to a half-elfin, half-human village, Simea, to begin training and finally get a glimpse of life in Sirtema, which is more backwards than they had thought.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Mythology page 27 While exploring Simea, Kamile and Everan find a shrine to gods that are like theirs and yet strangers--a priestess tells them the stories of Sirtema, how each race came to be.
Chapter Thirty: Elite page 27 Kamile and Everan are finally going to meet the seven men and women who have dedicated ther lives to protecting, training, and fighting alongside the chosen: the Sirteman Elite, the protectors of Ametris, who will with the chosen rise up and defeat the scourge of Tyrranen forever. This is the end of the reign of the demon queen--the twin chosen will rise again and bring the justice of the gods upon her.
End Part Two.
END BOOK ONE.
Prologue
The world is dying.
She has been dying since she was born--nothing lasts forever, even time itself is not immortal. She had thrived, though weighed down by evil and sin, and not until people spread across the world that the first fatal blow was delivered. The first of the Great Healers was brought forward, the beginning of a new age. The world recovered, and since, other blows were diverted, and she was content.
But a new and persistent evil emerged; one that even the First Great Healer overlooked, and all since; an evil so powerful and malignant that it had the power to overthrow the heavens themselves. It was not as a dark cloud spreading over the sky...it was not tangible, not obvious...no one saw it coming. And for a time, it appeared, in lesser forms, was fought, and was believed to be eradicated—but it was only pushed back, delayed, while it slowly but surely crept into the hearts of all like a deathly plague, feeding on their fear, hatred, envy.
Evil never changes; this evil had been there since time began. But it took on new forms, tainted the innocent, gained power...struck that fatal blow again and again...and then, it committed the worst sin of all.
There will come a day when we forget the past. There will come a day when stories lose their sharpness, detail, clarity, and are criticized as mere legends...there will come a day when books are used for entertainment alone, and then only for classroom textbooks, and then, as fuel for the ravaging fires sweeping the world...there will come a day when all love, faith, hope, compassion, mercy is lost forever, when no stories of it remain, when the idea is lost. And that is when the world will die.
But that day is not today.
This is the story of that great evil, long after the First Great Healer struck it down, the turmoil and strife it caused, its motives, its moves, its consequences...and the untainted innocents that banished it back from the abyss from which it came once and for all.
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 8:52 am
Chapter One
"Kamile! Everan!" Marli called. "Where are you?"
Searching behind trees and bushes, stepping lightly through the undergrowth, Marli wandered deeper into the forest with hardly any idea of where she was. She stopped looking around anxiously and instinctively checking the sky. It was useless; the sun had not yet risen over the thick, ever-present mist. All she could see was a thick golden edge on the bright blue sky--pretty, certainly, but she had no time for it today.
"I know you're there!" she shouted, in no particular direction. "And you had better come out right now!"
There was no answer. She was talking to nobody. But she had expected as much. She sighed, blowing yellow strands of hair out of her eyes.
"Fine," she muttered peevishly. "I give up. I'm going back."
She turned on her heel and walked off, the grass rustling under her feet.
Actually, she had not been talking to herself--two children had been watching her from the deep shadows of an oak, highly amused. Now, they deemed it save to emerge form their hiding place; a small elven girl and boy. The girl stuck her head around the tree, checking to see that Marli was gone. Satisfied, she nodded and beckoned to her companion. Before all eyes, they were obviously twins, with the same black hair, silver eyes, and white scar, in the shape of a crescent-moon, on their foreheads. They were even the same height, to the last quarter inch, and it was plain to see as they stepped onto the nearly invisible forest path. In the light, their eyes sparkled; the only real difference in them was wholly in their expressions. Judging themselves alone, they turned and set off in a completely opposite direction from Marli.
The girl laughed aloud, breaking into a run. The boy smiled and started to run, too, easily catching up with her. They raced neck-and-neck, dodging through closely-knit trees and ducking under low branches. After a while, without anyone really winning, they slowed simultaneously into a walk, catching their breath. as they reached the edge of a small clearing, a shadow fell over them.
"There you are," said Marli's voice. They turned, coming face-to-face with their teacher, whose smile told them that they were in trouble.
"I've been looking for you since the end of break," Marli informed them brightly, "I was afraid you had gotten lost."
This wasn't true, of course, and they knew it; n one knew the forest better than they did. Marli bent her knees slighty until she was eye level with them--she was only a few inches taller than they were.
"So..." she continued, "what do you have to say for yourselves?"
They kept their silence, knowing that there was no way out this time.
"Nothing, huh?" she said slowly. "Kamile? Everan?"
Kamile gave Marli her best innocent face, and Everan turned his eyes to the ground, scuffing the grass with his boot as though ashamed of himself. Neither attempt worked on their teacher.
"Uh-huh." She nodded, as if no more could be expected. "That's what I thought." She straightened up, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "Let's go back to class." They nodded, relieved to be out of punishment. She smiled; they knew perfectly well that she would let them get away with anything. "Oh, and you lead the way...I'm completely lost."
[KV: I use KV instead of AN, by the way. This is only a part of chapter one, so stay tuned, because I'm working on the next part at this very moment. Let me warn you again; Kirby's stories are not for the faint of heart or mind. But I'm sure you knew that.]
[KV2: Some things don't seem important, but they really are--like the mist. The mist is key. And it's really, really hard to make it through the mist, cause it's so thick...in fact, (you'll hear about this in another book, maybe) once a fleet of ships, numbering about 250, tried to pass through, and only 24 made it, and more than 9/10 of the people on them died. So even though he doesn't seem important, one mustn't underestimate the one who started the Thousand Years' War. And yes, that's meant literally and not as an exaggeration.
Also, I absolutely love Marli...she sounds so smart, and half of the kids she teaches are around nine. She's fifteen by the way. Just thought you might want to know.
And, um, one last thing. I ABSOLUTELY HATE the other little kids. I really do. If I could kill them off in a forest fire or a bomb, then I totally would. But, I can't. I don't have the heart for it. And I don't know if I could pull it off. crying
[KV3: Okay, so I seriously sliced the frist chapter, Big deal. I'm aiming for smaller chapters, you know. And the next one is still going to be LONG. So have fun and read on! heart
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 11:25 am
Yeah, this is a lot easier to read than the other one. It's more descriptive to. I can't wait to read more.
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 2:16 pm
I'm curious as to where this is going.
heart dramallama
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 6:02 pm
happy! happyhappyhappy!
people like my new version! >.< Squee!
I'm posting more, don't worry...like, tonight. But it might be kind of a cliffhanger, because I'm not done yet sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:34 pm
and it is, indeed, something of a cliffhanger. I had no idea how to end it, because I HATE THOSE FRICKIN KIDS SO MUCH *huffhuff* sorry.
But i really do, and of course the first four chapters are full of 'em...
just wait guys, this'll get good FAST.
heart
Kirby
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Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 8:18 am
A nice retelling...it fixed a few problems with the other version. Well what you covered in that short little exerpt did anyway : P. It's good, can't wait to read more.
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Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 8:41 am
Thanks! Chapter One isn't quite done yet; I've always been horrible at ending chapters. Sure, I can do it, but only every fifty pages or so O.o
So wait for it, people, I'm workin' on it!
(Oh, by the way, this could take awhile; I'm grounded from the computer for about nine weeks if I don't get my impossibly low gades up sweatdrop )
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 9:11 pm
Aaaaanyway, I've written a lot of GOOD things for chapter two. All those who've read this already, kindly trot down to the new addition. Kthnxbai.
More chapter one
Despite many attempts to escape, Kamile and Everan still found themselves with their shoulders in Marli's tight grip twenty minutes later, as they reached the schoolhouse. Much to their displeasure, Marli shoved them ahead of her into a room that was already full of elves their own age. The classroom erupted with laughter.
"Got you this time, didn't I?" Marli whispered to them, ruffling their hair. "All right, settle down," she added loudly to the rest of them, heading for the front of the room. "We;ve got an hour of class left, so we had better make this quick."
Kamile and Everan took a seat in the back, trying their best to ignore the knowing glances aimed their way. Kamile stuck her tongue out to one girl in particular who stopped giggling at once, looking scandalized.
Marli took a roll of parchment off her desk, unrolling it. "Today we'll try to cover more of this lesson. Now let's see, where were we...?"
"We were just starting the Thousand Years' War, Professor."
Marli's eyes shone. "Ah, yes. That's a very interesting subject." She twirled a charcoal stick between her fingers, making an occasional note on the parchment. The class eyes it warily, hoping that the scroll was not as long as it seemed; Marli was infamous for her expansive lectures.
She rolled the parchment up, setting it on her desk, and started to write on the slate chalkboard on the wall. "To many in Ametris, it is impossible to imagine that there ever was a war." The class caught the change of her tone and prepared themselves for yet another long lesson. "After all, we are a country of peace. Complete neutrality has been ours for more than three thousand years, a gift from the deities to end the war at last. As for the cause of the war..."
Marli turned and gave them a very serious look, arms folded, gaining their full attention at once. "I cannot emphasize enough that Ametris was not always peaceful. This country was not originally perfect. Peace was created, certainly, but remember that anything that was created can be destroyed."
The children stared at her. Anything that was created can be destroyed-- they heard it every day in science, though never in any other class. According to Marli, it was the law of the universe...but it seemed odd to use it here. Sensing their confusion, she smiled, turning back to the board, and as she continued, a hint of satisfaction showed in her voice.
"No, Ametris was not always at peace...nor was it always at war. However, we do seem to have a scapegoat for the Thousand Years' War, which has earned its place in history as the most destructive and persistent war the world had ever seen. Naturally, the one who had caused it all woud not be easily forgotten. Does anyone know who it was?"
Jerked awake, the class performed its customary glance around the room, as if the answer was carved on the wall; finding nothing, they shrugged. One boy near the back hesitantly raised a hand.
"It was someone named Askan, ot something like that, wasn't it?"
[KV: Name under debate, thanks to a heated self-discussion about the third book, but nevermind that now.]
Marli nodded at him. "That's right. A human named Askan [KV: :/] from one of the countries outside the mist came to Ametris and to Merista--our capital, as you should all know by now. Shortly after afterwards, a huge civil uprising in the city overthrew the king and killed him...it doesn't take a genius to guess who had caused it. The problem only worsened as, in a chain reaction, other cities nearby began rebelling against their leaders, throwing the country into chaos. Since there was no king, the people felt that his laws no longer applied, and they were free to do as they pleased--a big mistake."
"There was a king?" someone asked, amazed.
"A basic monarchal government," Marli replied, waving it off as insignificant. She was met with blank looks; smiling, she added, "Yes, there was a king. But that's--"
"Wow!"
"A king? We had a king?"
"Like the merpeople do?"
"Were there queens too?"
"Whoa, hold on, hold on!" Marli called over the noise. The class fell silent. Where in the world do you hear things like this? she thought. "I can see there is still a lot about the other races that you don't know...The merpeople don't have a king or queen. Once, when all of Ametris was under one leader, they too followed the royal family. But since the war ended, things have changed. My advice would be to ask the races about themselves at the festival--you never know what you'll find out..."
She smiled as the elves' eyes lit up, watchign them exchange delighted looks. "The Elders wanted me to inform you that the Unity Festival will be held here this year. A week after midsummer is when they are planning it. This will be a great chance to--"
But the explosion of excited chatter was too loud for her to say anything. "--completely ignore me." She sighed impatiently and sat behind her desk, picking up a book as she waited for the noise to recede.
In the back of the classroom, Kamile and Everan grinned at each other. A week from tomorrow--that's our birthday! Kamile thought. She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped as Marli stood up again, losing patience at last.
"All right, that's enough!" she said, annoyed that she couldn't even concentrate on her book. "Gods, I'll never hear the end of it..."
The chatter faded away.
"Now, back to the war.
"With no leadership, Ametris quickly fell apart. The four races turned against each other with almost no chance of ever allying again. There was no good or evil side--there were only humans, elves, dwarves, and merpeople striving to hold their own, and as the war continued, it became a long fight for complete control over Ametris. After a few generations had passed, nearly everyone forgot what the war was even about. And yet, the fight went on.
"This is, invariably, what happens in a country at war. The anger and hatred will live on until spomeone stands up and ends it, even long after all reason is gone. It is the nature of mortals, and if not for one person, Ametris might still be at war. Does anyone know who that person was?"
In the middle of the blank silence that followed, Kamile raised her hand. "That was the first chosen, wasn't it, Professor?"
"That's right, Kamile!" Marli looked just as surprised as Kamile herself was, but was pleased--if Kamile had gotten something right, then it could only be a reflection of her own skill at teaching. "And his name...?"
"Haenir, right?"
"Right. Do you know what he did, Kamile?"
She had no idea, but she took a guess. "He...stopped the war?"
Marli beamed. "Indeed."
The class looked at each other, and at Kamile, in complete shock. She shrugged, grinning sheepishly. They gave her scornful glares, turning back to the front and scoffing.
"Of course."
"Trying to be a teacher's pet..."
"Good luck, I say."
"Marli'll let them get away with anything, though..."
"Now she wants to be smart..."
Kamile looked as if she would make an angry retort; Marli judged that it was a good time to step in. "Okay, guys, back to the lesson." Kamile sighed, sitting back in her seat.
"Haenir was the first chosen, and he fully deserved the title. He stopped the Thousand Years' War singlehandedly, after all--and he was only sixteen at the time. How he did it, no one is quite sure...but as far as we know, the very deity who gave us our gift of peace gave him the title of "chosen," and the chosen are still around even now. And, most likely, they always will be.
"After the war, the entire country--"
"Professor, who's the chosen now?" someone interrupted.
Marli frowned. "I can't say," she said, with a very sour look. "The Elders forbade it. But there are two of them, just like the heroes five hundred years ago, Kilio and Tara. That's extremely rare, by the way."
"Why not? Why won't you tell us?"
"It's against the law. I'm not supposed to say much about the chosen at all, but fact is fact. Anyway, as I was saying--"
"What do the chosen do, Professor?" Kamile inquired.
Marli gave her a strange look, and then laughed. "Kamile, you have no idea."
Okay, so I haven't added anything yet. Don't worry about it, I'm just lazy. In fact, I think this should be its own chapter. Yeah.....well, no. I have no clue. Any advice, people?
It's late, so no real updates tonight. I still have to finish. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:55 am
Okay, people, this is getting annoying. I don't know how to divide the chapters--after all, how can you equally place things when you have one short cutoff and five long rambles? Well, at least the whole thing isn't a long ramble now. This is...ah...installment three. The best yet, thank you.
Also, if anyone has any ideas for a prologue, to make it more interesting (I have several ideas) then let me know. Like, the creation of the world, the first people that ever landed on Ame--erm...well, whatever, This nice battle scene that shows the evil queen pretty well--she comes in later--and of course, me or one of my characters explaining. They do that for the other two books, you know.
I'm a prologuey sort of person, so I would be ever so grateful if you'd help me.
So without further ado, installment three X.x
Still Chapter One
As Marli went on, expanding on the four races and their differences, Kamile grew bored and rested her chin on her folded arms, yawning.
Knowing her, this could go on forever, she thought.
I don't mind, the thought that was not her own echoed in her head.
You wouldn't, Everan, she snorted. You're even smarter than she is.
Since before they could talk, Kamile and Everan had found that they could communicate with each other using telepathy--conveying a message in images and ideas using brain waves, which automatically translated into words--though they never thought about it quite like that. It was commonplace to them, although they had never met anyone else who could do it.
I'm not smarter than her, Everan objected. She's a teacher.
Kamile shrugged nomcommittally. That doesn't mean anything.She ywaned again. You wouldn't be as boring as she is.
I think this is interesting.
Well, I don't. Why can't we just find out what the other races are like ourselves? They're coming here, after all, aren't they?
And on our birthday, too. A shadow of his contentment reached Kamile across the connection between them.
Isn't it great? It's as if the deities actually like us for once.
Don't say that, it's disrespectful.
Dis...what?
Never mind. Everan sighed, resolving to use smaller words. We;ve always been told that the deities take care of everyone, right?
No one's taught us anything, that's just what everyone says.
Well, that's true. I wonder if they learned it from their parents.
Yeah, that's my point! If--
"Kamile! Everan! Stop talking, please!"
"We weren't, Professor!" Kamile said indignantly, with her best not-guilty look.
"Well, you were going to. Pay attention, please." And with that, she resumed the lesson.
Kamile and Everan glanced at each other, in silent agreement that Marli's cleverness was almost scary.
Class ended an hour later, and most of the children dashed out, eager to run home and share the news of the festival with their families. Kamile and Everan took their time, checking to be sure they left nothing behind. In the front of the room, Marli sat back in her chair and opened her book once more. As they turned to leave, she called without looking up, "Hey, you two, make sure you wear your uniform next class."
Everan pretended like he didn't hear, swinging his bag over his shoulder. Kamile winced, knowing the comment was directed at her--she was wearing a short, belted tunic, quite unlike the modestly long green dresses worn by the other girls. Everan's clothes were almost right; it had been she that had gotten them caught. She muttered an assent and hurried after Everan, thankful that at least she had remembered to wear shoes today.
Do you think we're in trouble? she asked him, worried.
He shrugged. It doesn't matter. There's nothing we can do about it, anyway.
If she keeps on about it, though...
We can't buy clothes with money we don't have, he said shortly, sounding annoyed, though she knew it was not at her. However, she decided to change the subject.
Where are we going? she asked, back home?
They stopped, realizing that they were automatically heading in that direction. No,Everan replied, I'd rather not, if you don't want to. Let's go into town.
Sounds great! she agreed enthusiastically, leading the way south down the dirt path. She skipped ahead of him, the rich forest air getting to her, though Everan kept walking, enjoying the forest in summertime. Around them, a chorus of birds sang, praising the efforts of the bright sun that had finally surmounted the mists curving over the entire island. The tips of pure white clouds could be seen, sliding across the azure sky, and on the ground hundreds of bright flowers poked through newly-grown foliage of every shade of green. Serra Woods was a world of color in the summer, and everything that breathed in the warm, scented air could feel the life rushing through them.
Kamile was full to bursting with energy, and quickly lost patience with anything that slowed her down--namely, Everan. She fidgeted with her hair as she waited for him down the path, untying it from its long braid, and when he caught up she left it loose and messed up his hair, too. He flattened it with one hand, frowning.
C'mon, she said cheerfully, We aren't in school anymore, you don't have to be so neat.
I like it this way, he insisted, ducking as she reached out to mess it up again. She shrugged and gave up, running ahead of him.
You're so slow, Everan, get a move on!
I can't walk any f--
I'll race you, then! Come on, already!
Taking the challenge, a rare smile lighting his face, Everan ran after her, racing her the rest of the way to the very center of the elven capital.
It was a curious truth about Kocha, and what made it unique; aside from the square half a league or so that formed the city's core, not even the native elves knew the extent of its borders. Elves had an extraordinary gift, given by instinct only to their race, to live in perfect harmony with nature--that is, they built their homes around and sometimes in the trees themselves, with stone and dead wood, never moving a single bush or flower or tree branch. In turn, their tiny houses stood for decades, covered in vines and untouched by rain, wind, or snow thanks to the leafy boughs overhead.
Due to this, the elven homes blended seamlessly with the surroundings; only those who knew where to look could ever find anything but small animals, grass, and leaves on the forest floor. Kocha's borders might have extended for leagues to the north and east, and no one would ever know. For most, the only definite boundary to the city was the Iiyana River to the west, which divided Ametris in two and emptied into the southern sea a few leagues south of the elves' capital.
Once the center of the city came into view, Kamile and Everan paused as they decided where they would go next. Everan's obvious suggestion was the library, and though Kamile did not entirely agree she cheerfully went along. They resumed their race through the cobbled streets, past shops and stalls glittering with charms and jewelry and emanating delicious smells, all the way to the door of Kocha's famous library, immovable at the end of the street.
The center of Kocha had been built on a league of open space, the top of a rise near the falls at the river. The ground curved slightly, dropping dramatically at the waterfall but sloping smoothly to flat ground in all other directions. Hardly any trees grew here, save for one drastic exception; a giant redwood[KV1], its branches throwing the entire street into shade and protecting the library hidden safely inside it. The tree was hundreds of years old, and the inside at its base was quite hollow, so a century or so ago, a clever craftself had carved the inside into a room, with stone and wooden steps winding around the outside up to the middle of the huge tree's trunk. This had been converted into the library, with ancient scrolls and parchments stored in the waterproofed annex in the tree's base. It was through here that the thick door, merely a part of the tree's bark that swung on iron hinges, led Kamile and Everan, who burst in and dashed right up to the main desk.
"G'afternoon, Kayle!" Kamile called to the library in general, though there was no one in sight. An indistinguishable, muffled voice called from somewhere in the room, and a young man stuck his head from around a bookshelf at the head of the stairs, straightening his crystal glasses as he noticed that he had visitors. He grabbed a few scrolls in his arms and came down to the desk to meet them, dumping the yellowed documents unceremoniously in his deep-seated chair.
"Afternoon! How--" He paused, looking around fot them; Kamile waved a hand over the high desk to get his attention. He peered over it at them, grinning as he recognized them through his dusty glasses.
"Oh, it's you two. I couldn't see you down there," he teased. They frowned up at him, too small to see over the top of his desk yet. He came around, leaning against the polished surface. "What d'you need?
"Just looking," Kamile replied, at Everan's request. "Got anything new?"
He thought about it, polishing his glasses on his jerkin. Tossing his messy black hair out of his eyes--and sprinkling them with dust in the process--he said, "You know, I think I do. Someone came in early for the festival and brought it from Merista--a complete history of Ametris, all in one book." His eyes gleamed with academic zeal. "I haven't had the chance to read it yet--you'll tell me about it, won't you, Everan?"
Everan nodded; Kamile, losing patience, waved a hand and said, "Yeah, sure he will, but who brought it, Kayle?"
His smile widened. "You remember Pilori, right?"
"Pilori?" Their eyes brightened. "How could we forget? Is she here?"
Pilori was an old companion of theirs, more than a friend--she had acted as their mother for six years, until she had left to explore Ametris. They hadn't seen her in years, since the last festival, and were eager to see her again.
"Uh-huh. She brought it as a gift last night, she said she's staying with a friend for the festival and she'll see you there--oh, and she said to tell you two happy birthday for her. Tomorrow, isn't it?"
They nodded, beaming. He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. "Eleven, huh...Well, make sure to drop by tomorrow, and I'll fidn something to give you. It doesn't have to be a book, Kamile," he added at Kamile's expression. "Anyway, come on, I'll find the book for you..."
They followed him up the curving staircase to the second floor, and through a door in the wall. A web of filtered green light shone over them as they eerged outside, surrounded by green all around, form the leaves that had fallen on the stone steps to the vines growing on the glass-covered niches built into the tree, stacked high with shelves of books of all shapes and sizes. Kayle led them up several flights of stairs, all the way to the other side of the giant tree and several stories up. Here, the stairs were wooden instead of stone, and Kayle occasionally told them to hop over a rotted step as he led them to a particularly small aperture in the tree's trunk. A glass pane covered it as protection from squirrels, rain, and wind, which he slid aside as he searched through the books huddled on the shelves.
"Now, let me see," he muttered, "where did I put it?"
Everan searched too, though he knew no one but a Kayle had a chance of finding it; his "organization system" was chaotic, to say the least, the books piled here and there in no particular order. Kamile leaned over the edge, bored, and watched the tiny people on the ground below. A wooden step groaned beneath her feet, and she swayed, losing balance. Everan automatically grabbed the neck of her tunic, pulling her back from the dizzying drop, and she decided wisely to keep away from the edge.
"Ah, here it is!" Kayle proclaimed, pulling a battered book from amid the clutter. "A History of Ametris by Vane...Ilean, I believe. This book must be ancient, I recognize the family name [KV2]...Well, here you are," he said simply, handing the book to Everan, who carefully put it into his bag, They headed back down the stairs, Kayle chattering about the library and the books he hoped to receive soon. Everan peered through the glass-covered niches at the many wood-bound books inside while Kamile relayed his comments to Kayle. When they reached the annex, Kayle told them to stay put as he searched the shelves for his list.
"Did you need anything else?" he called over his shoulder as he climbed the steps to the second floor.
"No, that's--" Kamile paused at the strange thought from Everan. "Oh, right! Kayle, Marli mentioned a book about the chosen, do you have it?"
Kayle stuck his head out from behind a shelf, frowning, before he disappeared again. "No," he said in a guarded tone, "it's been checked out for weeks now."
"That's too bad," she replied absently, coming around to stand behind his desk. Everan stood on his toes to watch her, first glancing around to be sure Kayle was not coming. Kamile, what are you doing?
Looking.
For what?
"Found it!" Kayle called, and Kamile snatched something from the endless books and documents on his desk, dashing in front of it again and standing innocently next to Everan, hiding something behind her back. Kayle appeared behind the desk, unrolling a nthick scroll and ferreting around for a quill.
"Right...Kamile and Everan...what's today?"
"Um, the last day of the winter solstice, right?" Kamile guessed.
"Oh, yes, tomorrow is midsummer. Winter...solstice...7074...got it. Okay, you're free to go, and remember to bring that back soon!"
"Thanks!" she called as they ran out of the library. Once the door had closed behind them, Kamile let out a relieved breath and took a look at her contraband. Everan took it from her, turning it over. It was, of course, a book.
What's this?
She shrugged. I think it's the book you wanted.
Why did you take it?
Well, why was he hiding it from us?
He wasn't...I don't think he was.
She sighed, blowing her hair out of her face. I don't know any of the stuff you do, Everan, but I can tell when I'm being lied to. And I hateit.
That's not a reason to steal, Kamile.
It isn't stealing, she objected stubbornly. 'cause you don't want to keep it, do you?
Not this one, thanks. I don't buy stolen goods, he said, with a look of mock nobility. She laughed.
'cause you don't want to keep it, do you?
Not this one, thanks. I don't buy stolen goods, [i]Oh, come on, [i/]she teased, Don't you want to read it, just once?
No, I think we should return it. Everan turned back to the library, but Kamile quickly rescued the book form him and held it away from him.
Not until I find out why he hid it from us, she insisted.
He sighed, knowing there was no use arguing with her. Fine, but we can't keep it for long, okay?
Okay, whatever.
So, where do you want to go? he asked, taking the book and placing it in his bag.
She shrugged, sprinting down the street and beckoning him to follow. Who cares, come on!
He followed, and they slowed to a walk as they took in the simplistic city. The center of Kocha belied the fact that it was the largest ciy in Serra Woods. It had the feel of a very small town, everyone greeting everyone else as they passed, and the trees grew right up to the borders of the square. It seemed as if nothing from the outside would ever touch it, with its small, quaint brick shops, the flowers spilling from every patch of earth, and the well, where all the women of the town met every evening as they took a pail of water home to cook supper with. [KV3] They were used to it, and spent their time playing games and chattering to each other--via telepathy, of course. As they raced each other down the street, they flew around the corner and nearly knocked over one of the green-robed Elders. Kamile quickly muttered an apology and bowed, while Everan hung back as if hoping not to be noticed.
"Good afternoon, Kamile, Everan," the Edler said sanctimoniously, nodding to each of them.
"Good afternoon, Elder Carn," Kamile replied in a learned-by-heart monotone. scuffing the ground wth her foot. Carn was the sort of person it was hard to dislike but not easy to trust; though old, his short hair was jet-black, albeit shot with gray, and his chest and arms still carried a hint of muscle form years ago. Kamile didn't like him much--he always seemed to be everywhere at once, and sometimes she felt as if he was following them, waiting for them to do something wrong; with good reason, as it happened. And yet, he was one of the Elders, so he fell under the category of one of the few people she showed respect to. Everan, being Everan, didn't show respect to anybody, so as usual he let her do all the talking.
"Why so rushed?" he inquired with a smile. "Going somewhere?"
She shook her head. "No, sir."
"Just enjoying the beautiful day?"
"Yes, sir."
"I hope tomorrow is like this, don't you?" he asked her warmly.
"Mm-hmm," she said, nodding as she took interest ing the conversation at last. "I hope so, too."
"You two will be turning eleven, am I right?"
"Yes, sir!"
"A very happy brithday to you, then," he replied politely, placing a hand on her head. "Well, I won't keep you. Good day."
"Bye," Kamile said as he walked off,, with an astounding amount of dignity and poise. she shook her head, as if trying to erase the awkward conversation from her mind.
Oh, good, we aren't in trouble, she said, relieved.
We're getting good at it, too, Everan replied, and they resumed their race.
After awhile, they collapsed onto a nearby doorstep, exhausted. The delicious smells coming from the nearby stalls were torturing them; it was midafternoon, and they had yet to eat anything that day. Everan fished two apples from his bag and handed one to her--she snorted and stood up. I'll be right back, she told him, disappearing in the crowd. When she came back a minute later, she was tossing a hot, sticky roll from palm to palm, licking her sugar-coated fingers.
Back, she said cheerfully, tearing the roll in half.
Kamile, did you steal this? Everan demanded in disapproval.
Nuh-uh. Lifted it.
What's the difference?
No one noticed it was gone, that's the difference.
Kamile, we don't need to steal, he lectured. We're fine the way we are.
Yeah-ah, but it's really, really good, she informed him, handing him a half. He took it reluctantly, taking a bite as he tossed her apple in her lap.
Where're these from?
Um, the bakery over there. Aren't they good?
Mm-hmm. You always know just the right thing to steal--you're such a kleptomaniac.
It wasn't stealing, it was--
--Lifting, okay. Don't do it again.
Fi-ine. She took a bite out of her apple, relishing the taste of the juice combined with the sugary roll. Hey, um, what's a kleptomaniac?
Everan seemed amused but did not reply, so she shrugged the comment off.
As they licked the last of the sugar from their fingers, the lady of the house shooed them off her doorstep with a broom so she could sweep, so they retreated to the well to wash off and take a sip of the cool water. After burying their apple cores in a patch of bare earth, they headed for the river, still hungry but ignoring their growling stomachs. The roots of the giant redwood extended all the way to the riverbank, and they sat on one, their feet dangling above the water. Kamile watched the fish and tried to name them all before they swam away, and Everan pulled out a book--the history--and read. Kamile heard him speak the words in his mind, but paid no attention to them, enjoying the shade and the smell of river water and pine needles.
"The country of Ametris is a small island in the middle of the ocean, with a mountain range to the north, deep forest to the south, and a vast lake to the east. It was founded by a group of humans, led by a man named Cyrus, who, it is said, was fleeing a tyrranical dictator in his native country. Under his leadership the humans thrived in Ametris, soon joined by elves and eventually dwarves and merpeople. However, the island did not come to its own and gain its proper titles and notoriety until after the Thousand Years' War.
"For three thousand years, Ametris was normal enough, surviving civil dis-ease, famine, and epidemics as all countries do. Under the leadership of the ancient monarchs, we thrived as well as any. The humans, elves, dwarves, and merpoeple lived in harmony together, though eventually seperating according to their habitual environmental choices; the elves living in the forests, the dwarves residing in the mountains, the merpeople, of course, keeping to the lake and river, and the humans keeping to the plains between these. The three races were civil to one another for the most part, united under one leader as they were.
"But the Thousand Years' War changed everything, and after the rebellion in Merista, the country began to fall apart. Around 2980 A.T. (Ametrisan Time, referrinf to the year Cyrus landed as 0 A.T.) the last Ametrisan king was murdered, and Ametris never fully recovered from losing its long tradition of kings and queens. Split cleanly in half, Ametris had no hopes of ever ending the war on its own. This would soon evolve into the longest and bloodiest war of all time, lasting one thousand years and killing over one million Ametrisans."
Wow, Kamile said, swirling the river water with her boots.
That's a lot of people.
How sad.
It's kind of depressing, yeah. But it's interesting.
What's depressing mean? she asked, kicking off her shoes and tossing them onto the bank.
Sad, pretty much, he replied, doing the same with his bag and his own shoes.
Then why didn't you just say so?
He sighed, giving up. Never mind.
You're too smart. She grabbed the book from him, tossing it neatly onto the riverbank beside their shoes, and before he could object, she jumped into the river, pulling him along with her. He broke the surface first, spitting out a mouthful of water.
What as that for?
Um...nothing. I was bored, she answered, still under the water.
It's really cold!
Quit complaining, it feels nice! She ducked him under the water, giggling. He emerged, splashing her with cool river water, and they battled on, with the water as their weapon, until they realized that they were drifting too far in the powerful current and had to stop the game to swim upstream. Once they reached their spot, Kamile floated on her back, allowing the current to sweep her further downstream. Everan tugged on her arm from underwater, submerging her with a yelp.
Where do you think you're going? he challenged her underneath the surface.
To the waterfall to see if I can fly, she said in her little-kid tone, breaking away from him and swimming with the current downstream. He swam with her, and when they reached a rock in midstream before the falls they climbed onto it, shivering slightly in the breeze as they watched the water sparkle and fall over into the abyss, creating a small rainbow with the misty spray. From their vantage point, they could see the river winding its way to the sea, a thin line painted gold by the now-setting sun. It looked as if the entire world had been forged of bronze and pinkish-orange stone, as the invisible sun to their right dyed the mist a brassy yellow and turned the water into liquid light.
Kamile put her hand in the current, enjoying the sensation of having pure golden fire run over her hand and make it gold, too. Her eyes and Everan's reflected the water's surface, dancing with treads of pink and bronze as the light dazzled them. They stayed there, lulled into a half-sleep by the rushing falls and the mellow light, childish impatience and impulses fading along with their hunger and their boundless energy. Everan folded his legs and watched the mists change, captivated. Kamile yawned as the first stars came out in the half-light, and without warning dove into the river, emergin on the bank several yeards away. Everan went after her, careful not to let the current sweep him over the falls.
Kamile took a deep breath as she stood on the shore, and walked to the very edge of the cliff, savoring the spray on her face and the fresh forest air tinted with salt from the sea. It was the best smell in the world to her, and the best feeling in the world to stand on the edge of everything and look down, as if nothing mattered but the sound of the water and the feel of the ocean breeze. Everan stood next to her, ready to catch her if she started to fall over the edge.
Kamile, don't fall...he began nervously.
Relax, Everan. She smiled at him. I don't fall unless I'm pushed, remember?
He smiled too, inhaling the intoxicating scent of the forest in summer. Kamile beamed, and facing the distant sea, she spread her arms out like a bird and stood on her toes. Try this, she said, doesn't it make you feel like you can fly?
Reluctantly, he spread out his arms, too...and as a strong breeze from the south hit him, he relaxed, realizing what she meant. Yeah, it does.
The spray surrounded them like a golden halo, colored by the sun, and for a second they felt that they really could fly. The breeze grew stronger, and Kamile laughed as it pushed her back.
You're supposed to lean into the wind, like this, she told Everan, demonstrating. As she leaned forward, however, the wind died, and she was left wheeling her arms to keep from falling over the cliff. Everan pulled her back, his smile fading.
Just like that, they were left in the dark, cold, hungry, and tired. They sighed, dejected, and shivering, picked up their shoes and headed for home.
W00! THAT took forever.
Appreciate the feedback, muchas gracias.
[KV1: A redwood is this huge tree--like, twenty yards thick--that grows in California. I told you guys, my city used to be a forest, so from here to the Pacific Coast, about 2200 miles, is basically how long Ametris is. Only, north to south. Redwoods grow in California, or at least the biggest one does. This library looks like the Great Whatever Tree in Tales of Symphonia, and on the inside it looks like Harry Potter's library in the first video game.]
[KV2: They don't have last names, really. Their oldest ancestors are what they're known by formally, though no one ever really uses theirs. The chosen are always of the Haenir line or the Inachi line, btw--Haenir is the first chosen --his daughter continued the line--and his son Inachi was the less direct line. The chosen of the main line always look alike--you can guess, can't ya? mrgreen ]
[KV3: I'm very feminist, you know. I mean, Ametris really isn't...the women are good at some things, the men at others. It's all very neutral. And everyone knows men are useless at cooking wink ]
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Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:43 pm
Updated! Chapter Whatever it is--um, installment three--is ready for action!
Anybody have any ideas how I can divide this up? I want semi-short chapters, but I can't really do it--I either have ramblings or frequent cut-offs. I can't really tell where chapters should start and end.
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Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 9:27 pm
updated again!
This time, I really mean it. Chapter one and chapter two are here, though chapter one is a little bit severed in the middle, and chapter two is insanely long. But hey, it's not as bad as before, right?
I appreciate comments and fedback, I really want to work on my style and wording and everything. Any ideas?
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 8:05 am
-laughs- Aww, you get better and better. Watch your italics and your conversations. I wish Gaia would just transfer them from word, you know? It would be much much easier, but I doubt if they could ever do that without some sort of agreement from Microsoft. But I'm moving away from the point.
Your conversation between the kids and the old guy [too lazy to check for his name] could have been done better, but I think you have the right concept behind your writting. Maybe a few of those conversation try-outs like Zee did?
You are in fact getting better, especially your descriptions of the land around them. ^^ This makes me want to go and write more for you, chicita. So I think I shall... and I love the fact that you stole my scene and just plopped it into your book. -laughs- Its cool.
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 10:52 am
Hahaha.
Yeaaah, I hate old people, they're so awkward. But this old guy is especially hard to deal with, at least for now...I need to de-awkwardize him.
Thanks for the luvverly comments heart
And um, it KINDA is...like I said, no one really ever finds out that they're in love with each other. Well, not if Kamile loves him, anyway. But it's painfully obvious.
YAAAY! more fanfiction! heart heart heart heart
I, um, typed this in the box sweatdrop My other computer (my writing one) doesn't have the internet crying
<(>.<)>
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 8:02 pm
This just keeps getting better and better. I can't wait for more!
My favorite part was the description of the sunset and the waterfall. It was beautifully done, I could picture the scene perfectly in my mind.
I think I'm very much addicted to your book. Can't wait for more!
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